Closer to the Edge
by lucawindmover
Summary: Fifteen years after the death of the Avatar, Professor Zei decides to summon the biggest players in history to Wan Shi Tong's library. He wants to hear the whole story of the changing of the world from the very people who changed it...
1. Chapter 1

Closer to the Edge

By Lucawindmover

Chapter One:

I Remember One Moment

Professor Zei hummed to himself as he cleared a table in preparation for his guests. He couldn't believe his good fortune. Four of the five summonses he'd sent actually came back with notes accepting his invitation. He moved stacks of books off of the table and set them neatly on the floor next to a full bookcase. He would have to remember to get one of the foxes to help him find where they belonged. The professor found himself a little turned around some days. His memory wasn't quite as sharp as it used to be.

The professor had lived in the library for fifteen years now. The great spirit Wan Shi Tong had allowed him his life in exchange for his knowledge. Zei had gladly agreed and spent many years compiling books and scrolls detailing every scrap of information Zei had ever learned. But he had a new idea for a book, a book for the ages. This was a book for which he didn't have all the information and would need to call people to the library for interviews.

It had taken quite a bit of convincing for Wan Shi Tong to agree. There had been no other visitors to his library since he had sunken it all those years ago. He tired of the humans who sought the information in his library as a means of destroying one another. But after some time and good arguments by Professor Zei, he had relented and allowed the scholar to send letters out to the people he needed information from. Wan Shi Tong moved his library back onto the surface of the desert, making it accessible for the people whom the professor had invited to stay and tell their stories.

Zei had fixed up several spare rooms to house his guests. He wasn't quite sure how many beds he would need, but Wan Shi Tong helped him arrange a few in three separate spaces. He didn't know if these people were still in contact with one another or not, and he wasn't sure how much privacy they needed.

Over the years, Professor Zei had managed to keep up on the current events, most of which startled him and pained his heart. It was these reports from above, brought to him by the foxes, which inspired him to get the whole story from the people who had participated in the making of this history. He wasn't sure if he'd be able to get them to tell their stories, but he sincerely hoped they would understand the importance of it for future generations.

He grabbed up a stack of blank scrolls and placed them on the table, along with his ink and brush. Behind him, he heard someone enter the room. It startled him for a moment. After being without other human company for so many years, it felt strange having people moving about the library. He turned in time to see a woman standing in the doorway, looking uncertain and waiting to be invited in.

"Please, come right in Katara. I have a nice chair here for you. Please, make yourself comfortable," Zei said, gesturing to the overstuffed armchair in front of the table.

Katara nodded her head and smiled, moving to the chair. "Thank you, Professor Zei. I am honored that you and Wan Shi Tong have allowed us back to the library. After all these years, I had thought you would be dead, honestly."

The waterbender had changed little over the years. She was nearing thirty but hardly looked a day over twenty despite the hardships she had been forced to endure over the years. Her hair was still long and flowing, her skin still a creamy caramel, though her figure was more rounded than the professor remembered. Then again, she had been a child the last time he had seen her. She had become a beautiful woman in the years since she had been traveling with the Avatar.

Zei nodded in return and seated himself at the table. "It's a pleasure to have you, all the same. It truly is. Thank you for coming. I know that the times are a little uncomfortable still, but I'm glad to see you and the children were able to travel safely."

Katara smiled and nodded, folding her hands in her lap. They sat for a moment, each waiting for the other to start speaking. When the professor didn't prompt her, Katara asked, "So what is it you would like to know, Professor Zei? You didn't really say exactly in your letter."

Professor Zei cleared his through nervously. He had intentionally been vague in his letters because the information he needed might be hard to divulge. He was going to ask hard questions and stir up old memories, and he wasn't sure if he'd be rewarded or not.

"Well Katara, I was hoping to learn your story. I have a lot of questions I'd like to ask, and though some of them might be a little personal, I hope you'd answer anyway. See, I'm writing the history of the changing of the world. A lot has happened in the last fifteen years. There have been terrible losses and hard-won gains. You have been at the center, or very near it, of most of the biggest changes. I had hoped you would help me tell the story, for the generations of the future."

Katara quietly considered what the professor was asking of her. Could she possibly dredge up all of the memories she didn't want to relive? When she thought of her children and the message her memories would hold for their generation and the ones to follow, she knew that this was a small thing to ask.

The waterbender sighed and nodded to the professor. "I will tell you what I can, Professor Zei. I will answer your questions as honestly as I can. That's all that I can promise."

"That's all I could ask for," the professor said. "Now, where to begin? If you could start perhaps with the death of the Avatar."

Katara's sharp intake of breath pulled Professor Zei's eyes up from his scroll. She had known this was coming. She knew she was going to have to talk about it eventually. This didn't make it any easier though, and she felt her throat tightening even after all these years.

Zei was afraid she wouldn't answer and so he prompted her. "It was during the fall of Ba Sing Se, wasn't it?"

Katara closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I remember one moment so clearly. I remember thinking that Zuko had changed, that he would fight with us for what was good. For what was right. When Iroh and," she paused, stumbling over the Avatar's name. "Aang burst into that underground cave, I thought for sure we would be able to escape. That we could take Zuko with us."

She paused and Zei took the moment to ask her a question. "What was it that made you think Prince Zuko would fight with you and not against you?"

It was a difficult question. "I'm not sure how to explain it actually. We had a moment, when we realized that we had both lost our mothers because of the war. I looked at him and understood for the first time that just because he was Fire Nation didn't mean he was less of a person. I realized that just being from the Fire Nation didn't automatically make a person bad or evil. Before that moment, that was all I'd been able to see. And then, in that one short conversation, my whole perception changed," she paused and shifted in her chair. "The way he looked at me made me think he understood this too. I thought he had realized that could fight for the good side if he wanted to. I was even going to try and heal his scar."

"How were you going to heal his scar?" the professor asked, genuinely intrigued.

Katara smiled, but it was a smile with no happiness behind it. "I had a small vial of water from the North Pole. It was sacred Spirit Oasis water and had special abilities. I thought that if I used it to heal his scar, it would work better than normal water would. But before I could help him, Aang and Iroh got there to rescue me," Katara took another deep breath. "Sometimes I wonder about that moment. If I had been able to heal his scar, would he have sided with us? Would he have fought against his sister instead of with her? She offered him his old life back. Maybe he wouldn't have wanted it."

Katara looked up to see the professor scribbling wildly in an attempt to keep up. She felt like she hadn't even said anything important yet, but then again, she wasn't the one writing the story. He spoke without looking up. "It's very easy to fall into the habit of wondering what might have been. But in reality, all the wondering in the world won't change what is in the past."

The waterbender nodded, knowing his logic was sound. It was something she'd had to tell herself often over the years.

She waited for a moment, knowing that the professor really wanted her to continue. But the next part was the part she had been dreading. She straightened herself in her chair and was about to continue when the professor interrupted her thoughts.

"He was more to you than just the Avatar, wasn't he?"

Having the question laid out so bluntly brought tears to Katara's eyes. "Yes. He was never just the Avatar to me. In fact, that was one of the least important things about him to me. He was my best friend in the whole world. And sometimes, I was beginning to think he was more than that even."

Tears began to stream down her cheeks. Zei was instantly sorry he had put such a question to her, but these were the kind of things he needed to know. With a wave of her hand, the master waterbender pulled the tears away from her face and let them fall to the floor. It was such a casual motion that Zei figured she hadn't even thought about it.

"I loved Aang, with all my heart. And it was Zuko and his horrible sister who took him from me. They took the Avatar from the world forever."

Professor Zei's eyes grew wide. "So it's true then? The Avatar won't be reincarnated into the Water Tribe?"

Katara nodded sadly. "Aang was told by Avatar Roku that being in the avatar state was his greatest strength and his greatest weakness. Being killed in the avatar state would end the cycle for good. And Aang was in the avatar state when he was hit with the lightning."

Zei stared at her, speechless. There had been rumors of this, but no one seemed to be sure that it was the truth.

"Of course, everyone is still hopeful that the spirits haven't abandoned us and that a new avatar will still be born in the Water Tribe. All of the children born in the last fifteen years have been watched very closely, including my own," Katara shook her head sadly. "It's a waste of time though. The Avatar is no more."

Professor Zei moved his brush as quickly as he could and still be writing something that was legible. Oh how could this terrible news be true? Could the world really go on with no Avatar? He took a deep breath and sat back in his chair. He had completely covered this first parchment.

Katara watched as the professor stood and moved his large paper to another clean table. The ink was still wet so he moved it carefully, not wanting to disrupt his writing. He came back to the table in front of her and arranged a new piece of paper on which to record the continuing story. When he was ready, he asked her another question. "You said he was hit by lightning. How did this happen?"

"That would be the Fire Princess Azula's work," Katara started, closing her eyes and thinking back to the underground battle. "I was fighting Zuko by the end of the battle. Azula had taken after Aang and they were pretty well matched. I'm not sure how the fight would have gone if it weren't for the Dai Li. In a matter of moments we were surrounded. I wasn't about to give up, but I guess Aang thought we were doomed. He pulled himself into a crystal hut and I assume he meditated for a minute because the crystal started glowing. I knew he had gone into the avatar state. Everyone had stopped and started staring at him. I could feel the Dai Li moving back. No one wanted to be on the receiving end of what Aang could do in the avatar state."

Katara looked back down at her hands. "And then I saw the lightning. It happened so fast I wasn't sure what was going on at first. It hit him in the foot and left through his back. I could tell before he hit the ground that he was gone."

She paused. She had to take a deep breath before she could continue. "It was Azula. That power-hungry, crazy, blood-thirsty girl. I could see her from across the cavern. She was grinning, like she had just won the greatest prize. And then I saw Zuko. I hated him so much in that moment, almost more than I did Azula. Because after turning his back on me and fighting with his sister, he had the gall to stand there and look shocked at the fact that his sister had just destroyed the world's only hope for peace."

Katara buried her face in her hands. She had been suppressing these memories for so long. Pulling them back to the front of her mind now was very painful, and very draining. Professor Zei could see that retelling the story was very hard for her. It hurt him that he was asking so much of her.

"Katara, why don't we take a break? We could come back to this in a little while," he suggested, hoping that he hadn't burned her out already.

Katara nodded gratefully. "Thank you Professor Zei. I think I'll just go see how the children are settling in."

Professor Zei nodded and watched as Katara stood and left the room. He frowned as he looked down at his half-filled page. He hoped this tension between Katara and Zuko had abated a bit. It would be a terrible conflict when he arrived if they had not.

* * *

A/N: Thank you for reading so far. I know that not a lot has happened so far in the story, but this is pretty much just a set up for the rest of the story. It's going to be a bumpy, emotional ride, but I think you'll like it very much if you stick with me. Please leave a review and let me know what you think.

Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender and I make no money from my stories. I just really enjoy tormenting the wonderful characters that have been provided for us. I also don't own the lyrics to "Closer to the Edge" by 30 Seconds to Mars, but it is a great song.


	2. Chapter 2

Closer to the Edge

By Lucawindmover

Chapter Two:

I Tried to Forget

_Fifteen years previously, in Ba Sing Se…_

Katara was rushing forward to catch the falling Avatar when a chunk of flying rock hit her in the back of the head. She never saw the Dai Li member who hit her with it. Stars flashed before her eyes, and then blackness, as her consciousness was knocked from her.

Princess Azula crowed with delight. Not only had she just disposed of the Avatar, she now had a pretty little waterbender trophy to bring home to father. Her happy laughter echoed off of the underground chamber's walls. Several Dai Li agents moved to collect the limp form of the waterbender as well as the body of the Avatar. Even thought they were working for the Fire Nation now, they handled the boy's body with reverence. He may have been the enemy, but he was still the Avatar.

Prince Zuko was frozen with remorse. He had never meant for Avatar Aang to be killed. He never would have purposefully harmed the boy. He just wanted to take him back to the Fire Nation so that he could return with his honor. Somehow, the idea of killing the young airbender had been so repugnant that it seemed dishonorable in and of itself. And now his sister had killed him. She had shot him so full of lightning that his heart had stopped and he had died. Zuko had done nothing to stop her.

He might as well have shot the lightning himself.

He watched at the two bodies were carried toward the entrance. It was as they were disappearing through the tunnel that his senses came back to him. "Azula, what are you going to do with the girl?"

His sister turned and grinned at him. "Oh, I'm glad you asked. You wouldn't know this because you've been in exile for so long, but we've been developing quite an interesting new invention that will be used to contain benders. The Fire Nation has been keeping it hush-hush for the last few years because we were waiting until we took Ba Sing Se. And since I've done that, almost single-handedly I might add, it will be wonderful to have a little guinea bear-pig to test it on."

Zuko followed his gloating sister out of the cavern.

* * *

Katara woke with a terrible headache and no clue where she was. After a few moments, she opened her eyes and looked around to find that she was in some sort of metal enclosure. She furrowed her brow in confusion. Hadn't she just been in the cave, watching Aang…

Aang!

The memories the last battle came flooding back to her and she jumped to her feet, ignoring how badly this made her aching head throb. One of the walls of her cell had vertical metal bars and she rushed to these, grabbing them and shaking them in a futile attempt to express her rage and grief. It was then that she discovered the bands on her wrists.

There was a silver-colored band on each of her wrists, about an inch wide each and half an inch thick. They were tight, too tight for her to slip them off without first dislocating her thumbs. She realized that she had the same bands around her feet and her neck as well.

She focused on these bands, trying to keep herself from thinking about what had just happened back in the cavern. If she could keep herself busy, at least for the moment, maybe she wouldn't have to think about it at all. Upon inspecting the bands on her wrists, she found that they had no seams. She wasn't sure how they had attached them to her if they hadn't been welded. Everything about them felt weird, from their unnatural smoothness to the way they made her hands, feet, and neck tingle slightly.

The bands couldn't hold her attention for long, however, and she found herself slipping. The memory of Aang's stricken face as the lightning shot through him began to shimmer in her mind and she realized she had to focus on something else before she lost herself in misery.

She looked around her small cell and took in her surroundings. She had a pallet on the floor to sleep on, no window, and someone had left her a tray with a bowl of rice and a bowl of water.

A bowl of water?

Who had been dumb enough to leave her a bowl of water? But more importantly, why hadn't she known it was there until she had seen it?

And then it hit her. She couldn't feel the water.

It was as if the air had been knocked from her lungs. All her life she had been able to sense water when it was near. Now that she couldn't, she realized how much she had always relied on that sense.

She took a deep breath and settled into one of her most familiar waterbending forms. She raised her hands and began trying to pull the water.

Not even a ripple touched the surface of the bowl of water.

Katara collapsed in a heap and her emotions finally overcame her. Somehow, they had taken away her bending. They may as well have taken her life. She desperately wished they had. With her bending gone, she didn't even feel like a whole person any more. She felt more alone than she realized she could ever be.

She didn't scream, though she would have liked to. She didn't sob, though the tears did stream down her cheeks. She sat quietly staring at the bowl of water, as if willing it to move for her. She didn't know how long she sat this way, staring at the water and keeping her mind empty. It was dark in her cell, not entirely for there was a torch somewhere out of her sight, but just dark enough that the passing of time meant nothing to her.

After a while, there was a noise in the room. It occurred to her that she was in a holding bay of some sort, filled with other cells like hers. She hadn't heard any other sounds since she had woken, so hearing something now startled her. It was a door opening somewhere. She heard footsteps coming toward her, but she had no desire to look up and see who was there.

The person stopped at her cell. A shadow fell across Katara and she blinked as whoever was standing there held a torch.

"So what now, you proud little waterbending peasant?"

Katara looked up to see that it wasn't a torch, but a blue flame held in the palm of none other than the murderer herself. Katara jumped to her feet and immediately fell into a defensive waterbending form, regardless of the fact that she couldn't feel or move water any more.

"What have you done to me?" She demanded, glaring daggers through the Fire Nation Princess.

Azula laughed. "Not enjoying the binding rings, are we?"

Katara narrowed her eyes, resisting the urge to look at the metal bands around her wrists.

"Those were an idea of mine. I sent the inventors to work on them two years ago. I have no real idea how they work. I'm sure someone explained them to me. Nevertheless, we decided not to make them public until we brought down Ba Sing Se. And since I have," Azula said, grinning. "We will now be able to keep uprising benders from trying to over throw the Fire Nation rule."

"You mean these things are keeping me from being able to waterbend?" Katara demanded.

Azula rolled her eyes. "You see, this is why I usually don't talk to peasants. You're all so dense. I believe I just told you this."

Katara's anger was on the verge of boiling over. "If I'm so dense, why did you come to talk to me at all?"

At this, Azula cackled. "Oh, I suppose I just came here to gloat. I overthrew Ba Sing Se, killed the Avatar, and caught a nice little pet for my father."

Katara squeezed her eyes shut and turned her back on the princess. So Aang really was dead. She had tried to convince herself that he was still alive somewhere, perhaps even in another cell, just like she was.

"What did you do with Aang?" Katara asked softly.

"I did what is always done with traitors to the Fire Nation," Azula answered. "I took his head."

* * *

Zuko was on the deck of the ship when he heard the first scream. The sound shook him to his soul and sounded as if someone were being tortured. Or worse. His men watched as he sprinted below deck to find Azula in the brig, laughing hysterically at the waterbender, who was screaming like a madwoman.

Katara was reaching through the bars of her cell, trying desperately to grab Azula, who just cackled and danced outside of her of her grasp. Zuko stood frozen at the bottom of the stairs, watching the spectacle.

Azula noticed him and paused for a moment, just long enough for the waterbender to grab onto her shirt and pull her with some force against the metal bars of the cell. Azula instantly recovered, blasting the other girl's hands with blue flames and leaving her own clothes singed. Katara retreated to the back of her cell, outside of Zuko's view, while Azula straightened out her clothes and brushed cinders to the floor.

"What did you do to her, Azula?" Zuko asked, scowling at his sister.

Azula shrugged and walked past him and started up the stairs. "All I did was tell her about her friend's head," she paused and turned toward him. "You know, I think she's a little too testy for father. He would just kill her. You can keep her," she yawned as if she were bored. "I'm going back to my own ship. Yours smells like peasants."

And with this, Azula climbed the stairs and out of Zuko's sight.

Zuko moved over to the cell to see the waterbender hovering in the corner, splashing water from her bowl onto her hands.

"I can heal this. I know I can heal this," she muttered to herself. Her hands were both bright red and shiny. Even from this distance, Zuko could tell that she was badly burned. If she didn't get healing soon she might not regain full use of her hands. He went back to the stairs and called for one of the guards to bring him the key to the cells.

The sound of him unlocking the cell startled Katara. She backed herself up against the wall, holding her hands gingerly to her chest. "Do touch me. Leave me alone," she said, eyeing him warily.

"Katara, you need help. Your hands are burned," Zuko said. He didn't move from the doorway.

She frowned and looked down at her hands. "I can heal them. I've been burned before. Take these things off me and I can fix my own hands."

Zuko shook his head. "I can't do that. I have finally regained my honor. I can't risk losing it again."

Katara turned her face away from him, not even bothering to hide her tears. She had been so sure that he had changed. But as it turned out, all he wanted was his ridiculous honor, no matter what stood in his way. "Then I don't want your help."

Zuko narrowed his eyes at her. "Fine. Be difficult then."

He slammed the door of the cell shut and locked it. He then stormed out of the brig, knocking over a mop and bucket in his anger. She was so infuriating. She obviously needed help, and he was trying to give it to her, but she was so proud, so stubborn, that she couldn't even accept it.

Katara sobbed quietly in pain as she dipped her hands into her water again. No matter how hard she tried, the water did nothing for her. Her hands ached no matter how hard she tried to heal them.

* * *

_Presently, in the library…_

Katara moved down the hallway, past the sound of her children playing with their uncle, to the room where she had placed her belongings upon arriving. She laid on one of the small beds and closed her eyes, running her fingers across the raised scars on her hands. No matter how hard she tried to forget, there were a few things she would always be forced to remember.

* * *

A/N: Thanks so much for reading. This story will be told back and forth in this manner, which is an exciting challenge for me. I hope you will stick with me. And please, reviews are very welcome.

Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender and I make no money from my stories. I just really enjoy tormenting the wonderful characters that have been provided for us. I also don't own the lyrics to "Closer to the Edge" by 30 Seconds to Mars, but it is a great song.


	3. Chapter 3

Closer to the Edge

By Lucawindmover

Chapter Three:

I Lost Myself

Fire Lord Zuko preferred to make this trip incognito. It was very inconvenient to travel as the Fire Lord. Sure, he was practically waited on hand and foot, but that became tiresome after a while. He really didn't mind taking bathroom breaks alone. And he also had to deal with assassination attempts. While the war may have been officially over for a few years now, Zuko had decided that there really was no such thing as peace, no matter how hard he lobbied for it. So here he was, dressed in comfortable and indistinguishable Earth Kingdom clothing with his hair down. While his hair didn't completely cover his scar, it at least kept it from being the first thing a person noticed about him. He was trying not to draw attention to himself.

Zuko had been very surprised when he received a letter a few weeks ago from someone named Professor Zei. In the letter, he was being invited to a library in the middle of a desert, something he didn't think existed. After some quiet inquiries, he was able to discover that there was in fact a library there and that he wasn't the only one invited. This professor wanted to do an interview with him for a book the man was writing. While Zuko wasn't terribly interested in reliving his early years, he could understand what his life lessons might mean to the next generation.

It took a little work to figure out how to accept the invitation without it being common knowledge across the nations. His every move was watched with a dragonhawk's eye these days. He managed to plead a vacation for himself and his wife, who would actually be staying on Ember Isle while he was away. No one needed to know he wasn't there with her and she wasn't about to tell on him. She understood the importance of this trip, and probably was relishing the time outside of the limelight.

He couldn't have found the library by himself; such was the nature of the building to begin with. Luckily, he knew a guide.

Zuko ducked his head as he entered the small cantina, the Misty Palms Oasis, in the last sandbender town at the edge of the Si Wong Desert. It was much darker and cooler out of the sun, although being in the sun and heat didn't bother the firebender much. He definitely preferred the desert to the endlessly cold tundra of the North or South Pole.

Once his eyes adjusted to the change in light, he scanned the patrons of the establishment and found who he was looking for almost instantly.

"It's about time you got here, Sparky."

Zuko couldn't help but grin at the cheek of the blind earthbender. No one else would dare call the Fire Lord "Sparky."

The years had been kind to Toph. She had never grown much taller than she had been during her early days with the Avatar, but her figure was distinctly more feminine. She still preferred to wear non-descript Earth Kingdom clothing and while she claimed it was because it was easier to earthbend in the clothes she chose, her friends got the impression that she didn't like to be all dolled up.

She still had most of her hair up in a bun on the back of her head, though she lacked the poofy-balled headband of her youth. Her bangs were much longer and instead of falling into her face, they were pushed back behind her ears. The two most noticeable differences in the young woman were the sky-metal armband around her upper left arm and the hand-carved Water Tribe necklace she wore.

Toph was sitting with her bare feet propped up on a stone table that was earthbended out of the floor of the cantina. She was leaning back with her chair only on two legs, picking her teeth with a fingernail.

_Well, at least she seems to have grown out of picking her nose_, Zuko thought to himself as he made his way over to her table.

Before he could even pull out a chair, Toph hopped to her feet. "Don't go getting comfortable," she said, reaching behind her chair and coming up with a small backpack. "I want to get back to the library. It's Katara's turn to cook dinner tonight and she's a way better cook than Sokka."

_Katara._

The name sent a shock through his heart. Of course Katara would be there. He had hoped she would be, but hadn't really expected his fortunes to work out this way. He hadn't seen her in a few years, not since his wedding to Mai. In fact, he wasn't sure he'd seen any of his friends since the wedding.

Toph didn't give him time to digest this information, however, and was already stalking off toward the door. Zuko followed her, his heart pounding at the thought of the reunion he and Katara might have.

Outside, Toph made her way to a strange contraption that had Zuko at a loss. "What is that?" he asked.

"This is a sand sled. It's one of Sokka's ideas. He pretty much took a snow sled from the South Pole and outfitted it to slide on sand. You sit on the sled and I push it with sandbending. It's much faster than trying to walk all the way to the middle of the desert," Toph answered, gesturing that he should get on the sled.

The Fire Lord was skeptical, and nervous, but he had encountered enough of Sokka's inventions over the years to realize that the man was a genius. If this was something he had thought up, odds were it would work just fine. Still, his years of being brought up as a noble caused him to bristle at the idea of being pushed around in a sled by a girl.

"Are you going to just stand there all day?" Toph asked, crossing her arms and tapping her foot. "If we miss dinner because of you I am _not_ going to be a happy camper."

Zuko didn't think she was a happy camper to begin with, but he decided not to argue. He sighed and seated himself on the sled. Before he could even get secured, the sled took off with Toph bending the sand like a madwoman behind him. The sand and dry air stung his eyes, but closing them and not being able to see what was going on was not an option for the firebender.

The sound of the moving sand and the wind whooshing around them made it impossible for conversation. Zuko would have liked to ask Toph about her betrothal necklace, or about how Katara and the children were doing. He would have liked to find out how far the library was or what his reception was likely to be like.

But mostly, he was wallowing in guilt again. Every time he was able to meet up with anyone who had been friends with the Avatar, he couldn't help with turmoil of emotions he felt. All of the work he'd done in the last fifteen years never seemed to redeem him for his lack of action against his monster of a sister. He had lost himself in the search for his honor. And now, so many years later, he still wasn't sure he'd ever gotten his honor back.

They couldn't have been travelling for more than an hour when the library of Wan Shi Tong became visible. He couldn't believe its massive size. From the time he first discerned its outline on the horizon to the moment they stopped at its enormous entrance way took almost another hour in itself. Being a prince and then a lord, Zuko had plenty of experience with large and impressive structures. This library, however, took the fruit tart.

Toph stopped the sled and with one smooth motion, earthbended the sand from her clothes and hair. Zuko was left to knock his own clothes clean with his hands. He followed her into the library, which had the same effect on his eyes as the Misty Palms Oasis had. Toph never slowed though, and he stumbled to keep up with the blind earthbender.

"I think everyone is in the kitchen. That's where we all go in the evenings," Toph said, pointing down one hallway. "Well, except for the professor. He's almost always in his study."

Zuko wasn't sure he was ready to face Katara yet. "I think I should speak with Professor Zei. Which way is his study?"

Toph pointed in the other direction. "It's the third doorway on the left. You can't miss it."

The pair stood awkwardly for a moment before Toph came forward and punched Zuko on the arm. "It's good to see you, Zuko. Well, not _see_ really, but you know what I mean."

Zuko rubbed his arm and smiled. "It's good to see you too, Toph."

Toph shrugged and smirked. "We'll be in the kitchen," she said before turning and heading down the hallway.

Zuko took a deep breath and moved down the hallway toward Professor Zei's study. He found the man hunched over a writing table, his brush moving in quick strokes to take down whatever it was he was writing. Zuko didn't want to interrupt him so he stood quietly until the man looked up of his own accord.

Once Professor Zei noticed Zuko standing in the doorway, he jumped up so quickly that he knocked his chair to the floor. The professor moved over to Zuko, bowing along the way.

"Fire Lord Zuko, it is such a pleasure to be in your presence. I am honored that you accepted my invitation. Please, come in, come in," the older man scrambled to show the firebender to a chair.

Zuko followed the man over to the table and took a seat in the proffered chair. "Please sir, it is I who am honored here," he said, watching as the professor moved sheets of paper off of the table that were already covered in writing and adding new, clean sheets. "Also, you can just call me Zuko. I don't need to be the Fire Lord here."

"All the same, I am honored," Zei replied, nodding his head to the younger man. "I have many questions for you, Zuko. I hope you'll tell me your story."

Zuko turned his eyes in the direction of the door and sighed. "I'm not sure what exactly there is to tell. I have no idea where to start. So much has happened over the years. So much death. So much destruction. So many things I could have stopped, should have stopped, but didn't. What exactly is it that you want from me, Professor?"

Professor Zei watched the tortured young man with a thoughtful expression. He rubbed his chin for a moment before answering. "Why don't you tell me about your uncle Iroh? He was a remarkable man."

Zuko took a deep breath. He really hadn't wanted to talk about his uncle, the Dragon of the West. But since the question was put to him, he figured it would be rude not to.

"Uncle Iroh was more than he let anyone know. I thought he had betrayed me when he wouldn't stand with us at Ba Sing Se. But as it turns out, he took the right course of action. It was me who betrayed him. It took me a long time to figure that out."

When Zuko's pause threatened to lengthen, Zei prompted him. "During the fall of Ba Sing Se, Iroh was rumored to be trapped in crystal by Dai Li agents. Some speculate that if he had been able to break free he might have fought alongside the Avatar. What do you make of this?"

Zuko laughed. "Oh, he would have fought with the Avatar, of that I'm certain. He was disappointed in me for turning against him in that fight. He had been trying to get me to forget about the Avatar for quite some time. He thought I was going about finding my honor in the wrong way. After Azula killed the Avatar, Uncle didn't protest being taken as a prisoner. Azula made him watch what she did though."

Professor Zei raised an eyebrow. "What did she do?"

Zuko shuddered at the memory. He had been there when it happened. He had watched because looking away would have been a sign of weakness, something he couldn't afford to show at that moment. The image still haunted him in his dreams, waking him in the middle of the night with nausea and cold sweats.

"In the Fire Nation, when someone is condemned to death as a traitor, they are killed and then beheaded. The body is burned as is the custom for our people, but the head is not. It's to show their dishonor. Azula, she took the Avatar's head," he said.

Zei gasped. He hadn't realized the Fire Nation Princess could be so cold. Avatar Aang had only been a young boy after all.

"We built a pyre and burned his body, but Azula insisted on taking the head with her on her ship. We loaded the prisoners on to my ship and started our trip back to the Fire Nation capital," Zuko said. "During this time is when I first learned of the Binding Bands."

Zei nodded grimly. "That was a dark time to be a bender," he said, filling another page with writing. Zuko didn't think he'd said much worth writing yet but somehow he already felt exhausted with the telling of it.

"Professor, would it be alright if I got settled in? I came straight to you and as you can see, I'm still in my travelling clothes," the firebender asked, gesturing to his sandy clothing.

The professor blushed deeply. "Oh of course! I'm so sorry. I haven't given you a moment's peace after all the travelling you've done. I expect you'll want to meet back up with your friends as well. They'll probably be in the kitchen. I'll just summon one of the foxes to show you where to go."

Zuko thanked the professor and waited to be shown to his room.

* * *

A/N: If you haven't noticed yet, this story is going to be told in alternating chapters, past and present. Mostly. It's still open to executive decisions. Also, while the story follows cannon until the end of season two, there are still some important events from the third season that will take place during the story. But they'll be changed to fit the story. I hope you like what you've read so far. I have had wonderful reviews and I hope to get some more. Thank you all once again.

Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender and I make no money from my stories. I just really enjoy tormenting the wonderful characters that have been provided for us. I also don't own the lyrics to "Closer to the Edge" by 30 Seconds to Mars, but it is a great song.


	4. Chapter 4

Closer to the Edge

By Lucawindmover

Chapter Four:

It is Better

_Fifteen years previously, on Prince Zuko's Fire Navy ship…_

Katara wasn't sure how much time had passed before she had another visitor. Had it been a few hours? A whole day? The pain in her hands and the pain in her heart kept her from really acknowledging the passing of time, besides the fact that she didn't have any way of actually marking time anyway.

A guard came and opened her cell, letting in an elderly man with his arms full of a bundle. Katara shrank back to the wall of her cell once more, wary of anyone who was of the Fire Nation. It seemed like it had been eons ago that she had come to her realization that not all Fire Nation people were evil. She was no longer sure she believed it.

"What do you want?" she croaked, her voice rough from crying. She cleared her throat. She didn't want to seem weak even if she was injured.

The old man motioned for the guard to close the door and leave them. He officer did as he was instructed; making sure the cell was locked behind him. He made a motion to say he was going to be just out of sight in case there was a disturbance.

Katara rolled her eyes. What damage could she do with no bending and burned hands?

Once the old man saw that they were alone, he turned to Katara. "I'm here to heal your hands, young one."

Katara held her aching hands to her chest protectively. "I don't trust you."

The man took a seat on the floor. "Well of course you don't. I wouldn't expect you to. But your hands truly need healing. If you put it off much longer they will be of no use to you in the future."

One look at her hands and Katara knew he spoke the truth. She set her lips in a firm line of agitation and sat on the floor before him. It boiled her blood that she wasn't allowed to do this herself.

"How are you going to heal them? You aren't a waterbender in disguise, are you?" she asked, skeptically.

The man laughed. "No, I'm no waterbender. But to ease your mind, I'm no firebender either."

Katara considered this and then held her injured hands out to him slowly.

The man unrolled his bundle, exposing a pile of clean rags, herbs and ointments. "You see, we in the Fire Nation have long known the ways of healing burns. It is a necessity. Children learn they are firebenders before they learn how to control that incredible power. Often enough, someone is hurt before they understand how important it is to control that power."

Katara flinched as the man took her hands gently and turned them over, inspecting the damage. "The burns are very clean. They've been washed."

"I put them in my water bowl. I was trying to heal them myself," Katara said, blushing at how ridiculous this statement sounded given the circumstances.

The man nodded, as if this were the natural thing she should have done, and opened a jar of ointment. The smell was a bit overwhelming, causing Katara's eyes to sting and water. But as he started to smooth the substance on her hands, she knew it was worth it. Almost instantly the pain from the burns was gone.

"What is your name?" Katara asked, curious now that her hands were feeling better.

"Chan," the old man answered. "But I'm mostly called Old Chan. You see, I have a grandson named Chan also. He was Little Chan when he was younger, but he's almost grown now. So he's just Chan, and I'm now Old Chan."

The man continued to chatter about his son, a Fire Navy admiral, and his grandson, while he layered herbs and then gauzy bandages around the young waterbender's hands. Once he was finished, he leaned back and examined his handy work. Her hands were wrapped with so many layers that she looked like she had clubs at the ends of her arms.

"Um, Old Chan? How am I supposed to eat like this?" she asked. She held her hands up to her face and waved them around a little. The bandages were nice and secure.

Old Chan tapped a finger to his chin. "You know, I hadn't thought about that. Perhaps Prince Zuko will see fit to send someone to help you."

Katara scowled at the thought of the Fire Nation Prince. She didn't want his help.

"Am I Zuko's property now?" she asked.

"As far as I can tell, Princess Azula decided against giving you to the Fire Lord. She told Price Zuko that he could keep you."

Katara narrowed her eyes in agitation. "That terrible girl thinks she can just hand me over like I'm dirty laundry?"

The old man moved faster than Katara thought possible, and smacked her across the face. Tears sprung to her eyes unwillingly as her cheek began to sting.

"She is your Princess now, young waterbender, and you will always address her as such. She and Prince Zuko are your betters. You must always show respect, even in private moments. I'm a healer. I could see through the Princess's attempt to cover her bruise. Her brow and cheek bone were darkened in the same shape as a bar on this cell."

Katara tried not to grin outright at the thought of having injured Azula.

"You must treat the ruling class with respect. To not do so can have serious repercussions."

"What kind of repercussions?" she asked, rubbing her cheek with a bandaged hand. She watched as Old Chan began to bundle up what was left of his supplies.

"Well, there's scourging, banishment, and death. Those are the most popular three," the man responded. He tied up his bundle and stood. "You are lucky Prince Zuko argued in your favor. The Princess was ready to have you thrown overboard."

Why had Zuko bothered? What was she to him besides a reminder of a different choice he could have made?

Suddenly, Katara didn't want Old Chan to leave. Outside of being smacked, which she figured was a far easier punishment than the three he had informed her about, he had been really nice. He had helped her. She didn't want to go back to being alone in here. "Please, Old Chan. Can you stay for a little longer?"

Old Chan shook his head. "I'm sorry, little waterbender. I can't stay. But I should be back tomorrow to check on your hands. We can speak again then."

Katara hung her head, refusing to watch as he called back the officer and left the cell. It was quiet. Well, quiet was a relative term. If quiet meant that no one was walking by and no one was talking, then it was very quiet indeed. But if quiet meant there was no noise, then it was most assuredly not quiet. The ship seemed to make all sorts of noises, from creaks and groans, to clanking and whistling. She had never actually been around so much constant noise in all her life. She moved over and curled up on the pallet on the floor. All in all, it wasn't terribly uncomfortable. She had definitely slept on worse surfaces in her travels with Aang.

Aang.

The thought of her best friend made her heart ache. She couldn't control the sobs that broke free of her and she mourned the loss of the young airbender.

* * *

Prince Zuko scowled as he watched Old Chan being escorted off of his ship. Azula was going too far. She claimed that the old man had been unusually nice and sympathetic to the Water Tribe girl. She was having the healer banished from the Fire Nation for nothing more than this. It infuriated Zuko. What was she expecting? Did this mean that no one could speak to the waterbender without fear of being tossed off of the ship? That was ridiculous, not to mention impossible. Someone had to continue healing the girl's burns, burns she wouldn't have had if Azula hadn't provoked her in the first place.

The rest of the crew were afraid to go anywhere near the waterbender. Azula wasn't on his ship, but apparently her agents were. No one wanted to take the tray of food down to her this morning and there were even fewer volunteers to rewrap the girl's bandages.

Zuko scowled. He had a tray of food and water in one hand and a bundle of healing supplies under his arm. As he moved toward the door to the stairs, an officer he didn't recognize moved quickly to get the door for him.

"Prince Zuko sir. I would be honored to help you with the prisoner," the unidentified officer said, holding the door open for Zuko to go through.

But Zuko wasn't falling for it. This had to be one of Azula's agents. All of his own men were afraid of being banished for helping the prisoner. Azula must have sent this man here to spy on him.

"No officer, I don't need your help. But I would like someone to scrub this deck. Since you have nothing else to do, that would be a job for you," Zuko replied. The man narrowed his eyes, realizing that he had been found out. He bowed to the prince and scurried off to get what he needed to follow his orders.

Zuko watched him leave. He would have to be more careful with the men he allowed on his ship.

He moved below, pulling the heavy iron door shut behind him.

He could tell that the waterbender had not had a good night's sleep. She was sitting on her pallet with her back against the wall and her chin propped up on her knees. There were dark circles under her eyes, though her eyes themselves still looked quite alert. They darted to him as he came into view, instantly wary.

When Katara noticed the tray and bundle that Zuko carried, she lifted her head and scowled. "Where is Old Chan?" she asked. Her confusion was evident.

"Thanks to you, he's been banished," Zuko grumbled. He sat the tray on the floor so that he could unlock her cell.

Katara jumped to her feet, assuming a defensive form that caused Zuko to snicker.

"Me?" She asked, relaxing her posture after seeing his reaction. "What did I do?"

Zuko slid the tray with his foot and closed and locked the cell behind him. "You got on Azula's bad side, that's what."

Katara smiled. She liked the thought of the fire princess not liking her. If she could be a thorn in Azula's side, she would be.

Zuko saw her expression and sighed. There was no arguing with this girl. He looked around her cell and saw that her tray from the previous day seemed all but untouched. The water was gone but the rice was still there.

"Weren't hungry?" he asked gesturing to the old tray.

Katara shrugged. She wasn't about to tell him that she couldn't get the bowl to her mouth with her hands bandaged like this. She was going to have to tell him about her bladder though. There was no getting around that.

"Is there a bathroom on this spirit-forsaken boat?" she asked. She crossed her arms and tried not to look like she was desperate.

The question stunned the fire prince. He hadn't honestly given any thought to how she would relieve herself. She would have to have her hands unbound, if just long enough to get in and out of the bathroom.

"Yes. But sit first. I have to unwrap your hands. I am _not_ helping you in the bathroom," Zuko answered. He sat on the floor of the cell and waited as she followed suit, however hesitantly.

He tried to focus on unwrapping the gauzy cloth from her hands. But every time he glanced up, her eyes glared at him frostily. He could still feel them as he gently removed the bandages. He was trying to be nice, he was trying to be helpful.

He was trying to redeem himself.

But why?

Why should it matter to him that she hated him? He was going to have his honor back. He was going to sit at his father's right hand side. He was going home. So why did it feel so wrong?

He placed the used bandages to the side and turned her hands over in his, inspecting the damage. It really wasn't as bad as it could have been, considering who had dealt the blow to begin with. Old Chan had done an excellent job catching the burns before they started healing on their own. They looked clean, and only a little swollen. She would probably have light scarring, but she should have full use of her hands again within a few days.

"This doesn't look too bad," he remarked, letting go of her hands and standing. He turned to unlock the door.

"That's easy for you to say. They still really hurt," Katara mumbled. She followed his lead, standing and waiting for him to show her where she could relieve herself.

Zuko narrowed his good eye at her. "Yeah, well. I know about burns."

Katara pursed her lips. She couldn't help but glance at the scar on his face before she looked back down to her hands.

They stood there for a moment, not speaking. It was Zuko who finally broke the strange moment. "Can I trust you not to try and run? Or do I need to shackle your feet?"

Katara thought about this for a moment. He was giving her a choice?

"Aren't you afraid you're going to be banished for being nice to me?" she asked, looking back up at him in confusion.

Zuko snickered. "I suppose I am being nice, aren't I?" He shook his head. "No, Azula can't banish me. She and I are on the same level. My father is the only one who can deal out that kind of punishment to the crowned prince and princess."

Zuko fidgeted nervously for a moment before Katara realized he was waiting for some kind of assurance that she wasn't going to run.

"I just want to use the bathroom. I'm not going to try and escape," she said. _This time_, she added silently as she followed him out of her cell.

* * *

A/N: Thank you so much for all of the wonderful reviews, particularly from Justthisguyyouknow, whose wonderful story "I'll Walk You Home" needs to be on everyone's favorites list.

Also, a warning, coming up somewhere in the next few chapters is some very mature content. This is a dark story and I just want you to remember what you are getting into. I don't want to hear complains or get flaming reviews because here I am, warning you ahead of time. If you stick around for what's to come, thank you so much. The characters are going to hit some hard times but be better for it on the other side. It's going to be dark, but with light woven in there too. I can't write without humor. I've tried it. It doesn't work. So it won't be a sob fest or anything.

Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender and I make no money from my stories. I just really enjoy tormenting the wonderful characters that have been provided for us. I also don't own the lyrics to "Closer to the Edge" by 30 Seconds to Mars, but it is a great song.


	5. Chapter 5

Closer to the Edge

By Lucawindmover

Chapter Five:

Not Said

_Presently, in the library…_

Katara had found over the years that she actually enjoyed cooking. When she had been young in the South Pole, the job had always fallen to her and Gran-Gran just because they were women. Sokka would bring in his catch, throw up his feet, and wait for his meal. She had really resented that. Then there had been the time period in which she had travelled with Aang. She had been relegated to the role of cook then too, but that was mostly because Aang didn't eat meat and Sokka couldn't cook. He had tried, but Katara had eaten enough half-raw and half-burned meals to last her a lifetime. She finally took pity on him and decided to stop fighting being the cook.

When she had finally reached the point in her life that she could cook because she just wanted to, she realized she really liked it. She loved combining different flavors and textures and bringing together a magnificent meal. She also enjoyed the praise she received for her culinary creations. She had become quite a highly sought chef to cater the important parties of Ba Sing Se.

It had been a few years since she had catered a party, however. The last one she had cooked for had been the wedding, an event she didn't like to think about.

Katara hummed to herself as she put the last of the steamed vegetables on a plate. Cooking vegetable dishes had become her favorite thing to make. She liked to think that Aang would have loved the variety she had put together over the years. Cooking things that he would have liked made her feel close to him even though he had been gone for so long now.

She grabbed a tray filled with food and pushed through a swinging door into a dining room of sorts. Before they had arrived, this room had been unused for decades. Katara had enlisted the help of Toph to pull tables out of the floor so that they would have a place to eat. After scouring the library, the children had managed to find enough pillows for everyone to have a comfortable place to sit. Since then, this had been a favorite room for everyone to gather in.

"Hey sis, what's for eating?" Sokka asked from underneath a mass of arms and legs.

Katara couldn't help but laugh. Her twin boys, Sota and Koda, thought their uncle was the greatest thing to happen to the world. It was an opinion Sokka was quite proud of and fostered at every possible occasion.

"Boys, let your uncle up. It's time to eat," she said, bringing the tray to the biggest table.

Sota and Koda both jumped up and raced to the table. They were five years old and ridiculously enthusiastic about everything they did. Sokka shook his head as he watched the two elbow and trip each other as they made their way to the table.

Katara smiled. When she had the boys here with their uncle she could see just how much they both looked like herself and Sokka when they had been children. The boys both had Katara's dark brown hair and bright blue eyes. Sota was even a waterbender, although Koda was not.

"Mom, is there something else to eat besides this roasted sea slug?" Izumi asked, poking the meat with a chop stick. It was a favorite of Sokka's and one Katara rarely made.

Katara's attention was drawn to her more reserved twelve-year old daughter. Izumi looked much more like her father with fair skin and golden eyes. She had her mother's patience and personality, however, and tended to prefer the vegetable dishes Katara prepared.

"Yes dear, there is another whole tray in the kitchen. Would you mind giving me a hand with it?" Katara asked. The girl nodded and stood, following her mother into the kitchen.

Katara's nerves started to get the best of her as soon as they were away from the rest of the family. "Izumi, there's something I wanted to talk to you about."

Izumi pushed a lock of long, black hair behind her ear. She had her hair down at the moment, but she usually wore it the same way Katara had worn hers in her youth. "He's going to be here, isn't he?"

Katara took a deep breath. She often forgot how intuitive her daughter was. "He should be here soon actually. I just wanted to prepare you in case he came in during dinner. Toph is off bringing him to the library now."

Izumi pursed her lips for a moment. "Is he bringing his new wife with him?" she asked with a slight hint of venom in her question.

Katara shook her head. "No. The story is that the two of them are taking a vacation on Ember Isle. So if anyone asks, we need to remember the story."

"What about the boys? I don't think they're old enough to remember not to say anything about seeing him."

Katara sighed and reached for the tray with the marinated vegetables. "I know. But I can't keep them from seeing him. It's been a long time."

"It's been _two years_," the young girl elaborated. "He hasn't seen us since his _wedding_."

"Izumi, tell me you're going to be civil," Katara said. She pointed at a large stack of bowls for Izumi to carry. The girl grabbed the bowls.

"I'm not going to make promises that I can't keep, unlike some people I know," she said. But under the heated look from her mother, she added, "But I can promise to try."

Katara nodded and led the way back to their make-shift dining room. "That's all I can ask."

* * *

Zuko knew he had procrastinated as long as he could. The fox had showed him to a room with two small beds, neither or which looked like they had been slept in. He had unpacked his bag, putting his clothes in a neat little trunk at the foot of the bed on the left. He had made and re-made both beds, just to make sure there was no dust in the sheets. He couldn't find anything else to do. The fox was still sitting in the doorway.

"Can you understand me?" Zuko asked the fox, feeling rather ridiculous.

He was relieved when the fox nodded. He felt strange, addressing an animal like this. "Are you waiting to take me to dinner?"

His stomach plummeted when the fox nodded again.

"Okay. Well, um. I suppose we should go then," he said, nervously adjusting his clothes as he followed the fox out of the room and down the hallway.

He was glad to have the fox to follow because he was sure he'd have gotten turned around otherwise. There were turns and staircases and more turns before the fox stopped quite suddenly and pointed with his nose to an open door way on the left side of the hall. Zuko took a deep breath and peeked his head around the doorframe to get a look at what was going on inside.

In the middle of the room was a table low to the floor. Pillows of all colors were spread around the floor. There were bowls and plates of food spread along the table.

And a beautiful, happy family enjoying a meal.

Zuko ducked out of sight before anyone saw him. He leaned his back against the wall and slumped to the floor, resting his head in his hands. It had been so long since he had been able to see Katara or the children. Would they forgive him for doing as his duty directed?

He didn't know. He was afraid to hazard a guess. He had been dreading this moment for years now.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of little feet coming down the hallway toward him. He looked up to see a small girl, probably three years old, with long brown hair. She was barefooted and wearing shades of green in the Earth Kingdom style. She was rubbing her eyes and yawning and almost didn't see him until she was right next to him.

"Oh hi," the little girl said. "What's your name?"

Zuko glanced left and right down the hall, wondering if he could possibly be imagining this little girl. "My name is Zuko?" he said, confused as to who she was.

"Is at a question?" she asked, as curious about him as he was about her.

"Taryn? Who are you talking to out there?" Zuko heard Sokka call from the dining room.

"Don't worry, daddy fussypants. It's a friend," he heard Toph reply.

Zuko could hear children's laughter as Sokka grumpily explained that his pants were not fussy, just neatly pressed.

"Come eat dinner," the little girl said to Zuko, grabbing his hands and trying to pull him to his feet. He humored her and stood, letting her think that she had pulled him up all by herself. She grinned and pulled him into the dining room.

Zuko stood awkwardly in the doorway. He was waiting to see how he would be received. He watched at Taryn skipped over to the table and plopped herself in Toph's lap.

"I had good dreams, Mommy," she said, reaching toward the table and pulling a bowl of rice toward her.

Everyone else at the table was quiet. The two young boys were both eyeing him in confusion. Then suddenly, Sota's face lit up. "Daddy!" he cried out with a big grin on his face.

Koda grinned as well and jumped up from the table. He and Sota both came barreling across the room toward Zuko, nearly knocking him over with the force of their hugs.

The Fire Lord knelt on the floor, wrapping his arms around his sons. "Oh boys, I have missed you guys so much."

"Why have you been gone so long?" Koda asked. He pulled back from the hug and looked his father in the eye. Zuko was struck by just how blue the boy's eyes were.

"I've had a lot of work to do, Koda. Your daddy is a very important man these days. I don't always get to do what I would like to anymore," he answered.

Zuko looked up and met Katara's eyes. She nodded to him and motioned for him to come sit beside her at the table. He did as she silently asked, with the boys trailing behind him.

Before he sat, he bowed to Sokka, who had not bothered to stand as he approached. "Sokka, it's good to see you. It's been too long."

Sokka nodded, trying to look angry. It only took a moment for him to break out into a huge grin though. He jumped up from the table and pulled the older man into a hug. "You're damn right it's been too long!"

"Sokka! Not in front of the children!" Katara scolded, trying to throw her hands over the ears of the boys.

Zuko chuckled. If Katara was hoping to censor her brother, she was looking at a lifelong battle.

Everyone sat back down at the table. Zuko looked over to Katara's other side and saw his daughter, Izumi, picking at her dinner and refusing to look at him. He wasn't surprised that she was angry with him. He had expected everyone to be.

Katara nudged the girl with her elbow. "Izumi, say hello to your father."

"Hello to your father," the girl muttered. Sokka snickered and Katara glared, but nothing else was said to the girl for the moment.

Zuko was desperate for a change of topic. He reached forward and pulled a bowl of rice and vegetables toward him. "So Sokka, who is this little one? I didn't think you and Toph could have kids."

Sokka frowned for a moment, obvious memories flashing behind his eyes. He was quick to recover, however. "We can't. But we can adopt. This is Taryn. She's an earthbender orphan. The orphanage wanted to make sure she went to a family with at least one earthbending parent. So we scooped her right up."

He leaned over and tickled the little girl's sides. Taryn giggled. "Daddy, I'm eating dinner!"

Sokka just laughed and leaned back on his hands.

"So how long to you get to stay?" Toph asked. She shifted Taryn to her left so that she could have her lap back to herself. The girl was making her feet fall asleep and that was an uncomfortable feeling for the blind earthbender.

Zuko took a bite of food, very conscious of Katara's eyes on him. He was having a hard time looking at her. "I cleared a month. I didn't know how long this would take. I was hoping to use any extra time to get to know the children a little better."

Izumi rolled her eyes. "You'd know us fine if you were around more."

Katara glared at the girl. "Izumi, you said you would try."

"No, she's right," Zuko interrupted. "It's unfortunate that my work keeps me away so much."

"Your _wife_ is what keeps you away," Izumi shot back.

Katara jumped to her feet. "That's it young lady. Off to bed."

Izumi stood and crossed her arms, her golden eyes blazing with anger. "I can't believe you're defending him after everything that's happened. I thought you would at least understand."

"I'm not defending him. Now go! You can stay there until you have learned how to mind your manners," Katara said and pointed toward the door.

Izumi stormed out.

Katara slumped back to her seat, obviously exhausted with raising a daughter who was nearly a teenager.

"It's a good thing I'm a waterbender," Katara said. She rested her hands in her lap, sighing.

Zuko looked at her. Somehow she looked terribly defeated. "Does she still catch things on fire?" he asked, concerned for this castle full of paper.

Katara shook her head. "Not as often as she used to. You should work with her a little while you're here."

Zuko shrugged. "If she'll let me."

Everyone at the table was quiet for a while as the meal came to a conclusion. Both the boys were yawning and leaning on one another. They had seen enough of their sister's outbursts that they were no longer exciting. Taryn was also starting to doze again, leaning against Toph's side as the young woman finished her meal. Zuko looked across the table to Sokka, who was smoothing out a wrinkle in his pants. The fussypants comment must have still been bothering him.

Sokka looked around the table at the children and sighed. "Katara, can you and Toph take the little ones to bed? They're falling asleep in their plates."

Katara seemed to understand that Sokka wanted a few minutes alone with Zuko and roused the twins to take them to bed. Both of them protested all the way through the door, swearing they weren't tired and wanting to stay up with the adults. Toph had an easier time. Taryn curled up in the young woman's arms and was content to be carried off to bed.

Zuko was nervous as he was left alone with Sokka. The man had been calm and cheerful enough while the whole family was together, but now that it was just the two of the, he was a little afraid for his life. He glanced up at Sokka, who was fiddling with a long braid at the side of his face. Sokka had changed probably the most over the years. He still had his hair back in a wolf's tail, but the rest of his hair had grown out and he had a beaded braid on the right side of his face. This braid was an outward sign of his marriage in the Water Tribe tradition.

Zuko waited for Sokka to say something, so when he didn't, the Fire Lord broke the silence. "So, uh, Sokka. You're a dad now?"

Sokka grinned. "Yup. Every day."

Zuko sighed. "I wish I could say the same." He closed his eyes, not wanting to make eye contact with the uncle of his children.

"You could say the same, if you would stop hiding behind your duty as a reason not to," Sokka said.

Zuko shook his head. "You don't understand. Just because I managed to end the war, just because _I'm_ ready to make changes in my nation, doesn't mean that my people are ready for those changes."

He looked up at Sokka and, from his expression, knew he had to explain himself better. "What I mean is, my people need a leader they can trust. Which they have. And they need their leader to have a wife that they can trust, which they have. But if I had married Katara?" he sighed and shook his head.

"I see your sister as a beautiful, caring, and compassionate woman. But she's more than that. She's also fiery, and brave, and strong. She's everything I need in a companion. I know that. But when my people look at her, all they see is Water Tribe. They can't get past that to see the woman she is. They see a usurper. An enemy. I couldn't put her through that," Zuko finished. His shoulders felt a little lighter for getting this information out.

"But shouldn't you have at least given her the choice?" Sokka asked.

"Probably," Zuko answered. "But I didn't know how to ask that of her. I didn't know how to make it right with her and also with my people," he paused again. "I love Katara."

Sokka crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow, suspiciously. "Have you ever told her that?"

Zuko shook his head. "I was afraid it would hurt her more if she knew."

* * *

A/N: Thank you all so much for your continued reviews. It's so nice to know that my work is appreciated. I hope you liked this chapter. It came out really easily for me and practically wrote itself. The next chapter, "Closer to the Edge," is the chapter I have warned you about. I'm not looking to offend anyone, but what happens is absolutely vital to the story, so bear with me.

Thanks again. I hope to be updating again within a week's time.

Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender and I make no money from my stories. I just really enjoy tormenting the wonderful characters that have been provided for us. I also don't own the lyrics to "Closer to the Edge" by 30 Seconds to Mars, but it is a great song.


	6. Chapter 6

Closer to the Edge

By Lucawindmover

Chapter Six:

Closer to the Edge

_Fifteen years previously, on Price Zuko's Fire Navy ship…_

Katara groaned as she tried for a third time to tie the drawstring on her pants. She couldn't seem to get her fingers to bend the way she needed them to. Finally she sighed and gave up, letting her shirt fall over the top of her pants. No one was going to be able to see anyway. Her pants were tight enough to stay up on their own. She would just tie them back once she had better use of her hands.

She jumped at the sound of a fist banging on the door. "What are you doing in there? Hurry up!"

Katara glared at the door, trying to think of some kind of good comeback. She would love to say something fiery and scathing, something angry, but she couldn't think of anything that matched how she felt. Nothing she was willing to say out loud anyway.

"I'm done. Open the door for me, if you're in such a hurry then. I can't do it myself," she grumbled, not entirely sure he could hear her.

She figured he must have when the door swung open, revealing an impatient Fire Prince. He reached in and grabbed her by the upper arm, pulling her into the hallway and back toward her cell. She pulled her arm away and stalked past him. She might be his prisoner, but she wasn't going to be man-handled by him.

"Hey! Where are you going?" he shouted, following her.

Katara threw her hands up in the air in frustration. "I'm going back to my cell. Did you think I'd try to escape before you fixed my hands? How stupid do you think I am?" She didn't even turn around as she continued forward, turning a corner and seeing the door of her cell ahead.

Zuko followed her back to her cell. By the time he overcame his surprise and caught up with her, she was already back to her cell and sitting on her pallet. He knelt in front of her, unrolling his bundle of healing supplies. "I don't think you're stupid," he said without looking at her.

"Don't you?" she accused, narrowing her eyes at him. "I thought everyone in the Fire Nation sees me as a stupid Water Tribe peasant."

Zuko rolled his eyes. "And _you_ seem to lump everyone from the Fire Nation into the same category, don't you?"

Katara pursed her lips together and didn't respond. She held her hands out to him, waiting for him to wrap them. She was surprised at how gently he handled her burned appendages, lighting smoothing some sort of cream over them before wrapping them in linen bandages.

Zuko tried to focus on what he was doing, and not the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. So she thought the worst of him, that wasn't surprising really. Not considering what she had been through. Not considering what she had watched him do. Not after what he had allowed to happen.

Katara also tried to focus on what he was doing, and not the rising anxiety she felt when she thought about what might have happened to her brother and Toph. She hadn't been able to ask Old Chan if he knew anything, and she sincerely doubted that the Fire Prince would tell her anything. She was a prisoner now, she should be thankful they were even tending her wounds.

But she couldn't help herself and as he turned away and started cleaning up his supplies, she found herself asking, "Where are Sokka and Toph?"

Zuko took a deep breath and sighed. He had hoped she wouldn't ask this. He didn't have to answer her. In fact, be probably shouldn't tell her anything. But as he turned and looked at her, seeing the vulnerable look on her face as she worried about her brother and friend, he couldn't help but tell her what he knew.

"Sokka was taken to the Boiling Rock Prison, as a prisoner of war. The earthbender was bound, as you are, and is on my sister's ship. As far as I know, she's in a cell much like yours," he said, looking away when he saw tears in her eyes.

It was as bad as she had expected. She had hoped upon hope that since they weren't on the ship with her that maybe, just maybe, they had been able to escape. They'd had Appa, after all.

"What happened to Appa?" she found herself asking.

"You mean the bison?"

Katara nodded.

"It was very strange," Zuko answered. "When the Avatar died, the bison died too. Your brother and the earthbender probably would have escaped otherwise."

Katara felt as if the air had been knocked out of her. It all came back to Azula. She had killed the hope for the world, sentenced her brother to a lifetime in prison, burned her hands beyond recognition, and spirits only knew what the horrible girl was doing to Toph, even as she sat here in her cell. She rotated on her pallet, turning her back to Zuko so he couldn't see how upset she was. She hated feeling so weak in front of him.

Zuko stood. He didn't really want to leave her while she was so upset at him. He didn't know why he cared, and not knowing that made him angry. "Did you need anything else?" he snapped.

"Why do you even care?" she asked without turning around.

"Fine. Be that way. I _don't_ care," Zuko grumbled, leaving the cell and slamming the door behind him. Katara listened as he stomped off down the hallway. Katara slumped over and began to sob, once she was sure he couldn't hear her.

* * *

Katara wasn't sure when she fell asleep, but when she woke, she felt disoriented. She wasn't sure what it was that woke her at first and laid still for a moment as she listened to her surroundings.

There was someone coming down the hallway. Someone was trying to move quietly. Katara could hear the footsteps, however, and pretended to sleep. Whoever it was unlocked her door and came into her cell. She heard the door shut again, and heard the key in the lock as the person locked the door again as well.

Katara sighed. There was no real point in pretending at this point. "Zuko, just leave me alone. My hands don't even hurt right now."

"It's a tragedy that Prince Zuko allows you to address him in such a manner. But then again, what more should be expected from a peasant such as yourself?"

Katara jumped at the sound of the unfamiliar voice. She sat up as quickly as her sore hands would allow her to and turned to look at the intruder.

She recognized the man as the guard who had been with Old Chan, though she had no idea what he was doing in her cell. She scooted back against the wall warily. "Who are you?"

The man smirked. He wasn't entirely unattractive, by Fire Nation standards. He was tall and slender, with broad shoulders underneath his Fire Navy uniform. His black hair was pulled back in a top knot.

It was his eyes that struck Katara the most. He had the most unkind eyes she had ever seen in a person.

"That's one thing you don't need to know," the guard said. He reached down and grabbed her by the ankle and jerked her forward, causing her to fall on her back. "You're the reason I just spent the entire day scrubbing the deck. You need to learn your lesson."

Katara's heart leapt into her throat. She had no idea what this man was talking about. She tried to push herself back to a sitting position, but her hands were too sore for her to lean on them.

The guard further countered her attempts by straddling her waist and pinning her arms above her head with one hand. She squirmed like a madwoman trying to get out from underneath him, but it was no use. She was a hundred pounds smaller than him and helpless without the use of her hands or bending.

"Get off of me! Get off!" she growled, trying everything in her power to get loose.

But the man just leaned his face down next to hers. She could smell his breath and it was terrible. She turned her head to the side and clamped her eyes shut as she heard him whisper, "I intend to get off, water peasant."

* * *

Prince Zuko was in his cabin, looking over a series of maps. He wasn't sure what he wanted to do after he got back home, but he was fairly sure he wasn't going to want to stay there long. He didn't want to be anywhere near Azula right now. Everything about her bothered him more than he understood.

It was from there that he heard the screaming. It was muffled, faint, and he wasn't sure where exactly it was coming from. At first he thought that it was coming from someone being tortured on his sister's ship. When they sailed next to each other it wasn't an uncommon sound. But then it occurred to him that they had let Azula's ship move farther ahead of them earlier that morning.

He listened for a moment, trying to determine where the sound was coming from.

It sounded female. But he didn't have any females on the ship.

He jumped immediately to his feet the second he realized that he did indeed have one female on his ship.

Zuko dashed out of his room, down hallways and through passages, down stairs and through doorways until he at last came to the brig, where his prisoner was being kept. The screaming had died down quite a bit and he feared the worst because of this.

Just as he came around the last corner, he saw a guard leaving the waterbender's cell. He had his back toward Zuko, trying to quickly lock the door. Zuko could tell the man was trying to get away without being caught.

"You there!" Zuko called out. The guard froze in his tracks, unsure of whether to make a run for it or turn and face what was coming to him. Once he realized there was no escape, he turned toward his prince and bowed.

"What were you doing in there?" Zuko demanded, advancing upon the guard.

The man didn't look up. "I was checking on the prisoner, sir. I heard yelling."

Zuko glared at the guard. From the disarray of the man's clothes, he was pretty sure _he_ had been the cause of all the commotion. "Who are you? I thought I knew all the men on my ship."

The guard looked up and Zuko immediately recognized him as the guard who had offered to help him earlier. This was his sister's spy.

"Wait, don't bother. I know who you are. You stand right there," he said. Zuko turned and called for over his shoulder for the other guards to come.

Two men the Prince knew and trusted came around the corner in almost an instant.

"Guards, arrest this man."

"What?" the man protested, showing the first real emotion Zuko had seen since happening upon him. "What have I done?"

Zuko didn't answer him but instead turned and addressed his other soldiers. "I believe this man is a traitor and a spy. Lock him up in the farthest cell from the waterbender."

The man struggled and argued as he was dragged around the corner and to another cell. Zuko watched until he was out of sight and then moved anxiously to the cell where the waterbender was being held. He looked through the bars on the door and was ashamed at what he found.

Katara was lying curled in a ball on her blood-stained pallet, sobbing. Her hair was a mess and her clothes were in shreds. He knew immediately what had happened. He had known of soldiers bragging of raping Earth Kingdom women when the Fire Navy began settling in new towns. Zuko found this to be an atrocious and vile act and anyone on his ship found guilty of such action had always been dropped off at first land and left to fend for himself.

At the sound of a key in the lock of her cell, Katara's sobbing increased. She tried to curl herself into a smaller ball and scooted as close to the wall as she could get.

Zuko knelt beside her pallet. "Are you alright?" he asked, knowing very well that she wasn't anything close to alright.

She started at his voice, but didn't answer him. He reached forward and touched her shoulder.

She jumped and moved farther away from him. "Don't touch me!" she shrieked.

Zuko stumbled backward and fell on his rear. He watched as she shook with quiet sobs, pulling her hair over her face so that he couldn't see her tears. He sat quietly for a moment before getting up and leaving. He marched down the hall until he came across a guard dozing in an alcove. He roused the man and instructed him to find blankets and clothing, telling him to bring them to the waterbender's cell.

The Fire Prince went back to the cell where the girl was being held. He wasn't going to leave her alone again. He was responsible for her. He was responsible for anything and everything that befell her.

Including the theft of her innocence.

* * *

A/N: Thank you for reading. This is a short chapter I realize, but I think that's because it was one that was hard for me to write. I truly feel for what has happened in this chapter, and I hope I haven't offended anyone. Please don't leave flames. PM me if you feel you have something flame-like to say. It's important to the plot of my story that this happen or else it wouldn't have happened. That's all I'm going to say to defend myself and my decision to include this. Please review. And thank you so much for reading this far. The next pause between chapters shouldn't be this long. I was sick for a bit, yuck.

Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender and I make no money from my stories. I just really enjoy tormenting the wonderful characters that have been provided for us. I also don't own the lyrics to "Closer to the Edge" by 30 Seconds to Mars, but it is a great song.


	7. Chapter 7

Closer to the Edge

By Lucawindmover

Chapter Seven:

A Thousand to One

* * *

_Presently, in the library…_

Izumi was bored. And annoyed. Bored and annoyed. She was bored because, although the library held an amazing amount of written knowledge, books just weren't really that interesting to Izumi. She understood the importance of the written word but she just couldn't stay focused long enough to finish a book. Usually when she was bored, she would just go and practice her firebending. But considering the fact that she was perpetually surrounded by very flammable paper, firebending wasn't really a good idea.

This brought her to the reason why she was annoyed.

After last night's dinner fiasco, Izumi stormed off to her room and waited for her mother to come in and berate her for her behavior. She paced around her room in a huff, kicking the bed frames and punching the walls, none of which actually helped her anger at all.

When her mother finally came in, she was dragging the half-asleep twins with her.

"Help me get the boys to bed," she said, motioning for Izumi to help strip down Sota and tuck him in to a bed along the far wall.

Izumi didn't argue, but she wanted to. She had been totally prepared for her mother to come in and yell at her. If she had, then Izumi would have been able to start yelling too. That way, she would have at least been able to let off some steam. Now that they boys were in the room and going to bed, there was no chance she would be getting a lecture. Her mother knew her well enough to know that it wouldn't be a quiet conversation. Izumi was protective enough of the boys that she didn't want to involve them in an angry argument.

So Izumi had gone to bed angry, and woken up annoyed. She didn't feel like confronting everyone at breakfast, so she had stayed in bed when she heard her family members moving toward the kitchen and make-shift dining room. After a while she started to get too bored to stay in bed so she got up, got dressed, and decided to go exploring.

The library was huge. Izumi doubted that she could ever explore the entire building. She was a little worried about getting lost and having to wait somewhere to be rescued. This kept her close to the central hub. She wasn't fond of the idea of being so vulnerable.

Since books and literature weren't her thing, even exploring began to bore her. Just as she was about to give up and head back to the kitchen, she heard voices.

"I'll answer what I can Professor, but I'm not sure why you would want to interview _me_," Izumi heard her Uncle Sokka say from around the corner.

Izumi stopped and waited.

"Sokka, your story interests me greatly. In everything that has happened, you are perhaps the greatest non-bender participant in the bunch. I am very interested in what happened to you after the death of the Avatar," Professor Zei responded.

Izumi couldn't hear what her uncle said next but the professor laughed. Izumi rolled her eyes. Her uncle Sokka was always spouting off terrible jokes that people felt obligated to laugh at. She felt sorry for little Taryn. When she grew up she was going to be embarrassed all the time by her father.

She could hear them moving farther down the hallway and decided to follow them and eavesdrop. She didn't have anything else to do this morning; she might as well listen in on her uncle's interview. It was far better than accidently running into her father and being forced to speak with him.

Izumi peeked around the corner in time to see her uncle follow the professor into a room. She knew this room. It was where her mother had gone to be interviewed shortly after they had arrived. The young firebender tip-toed down the hall until she was right next to the door. She sat on the floor, leaning back against the wall, and listened for the interview to start.

"Well, I suppose I'm most interested in your time at Boiling Rock," she heard Professor Zei say.

Sokka sighed. "I figured that's where we would start. Makes sense though, it's kind of the beginning of the story."

Izumi grinned. She had never heard about her uncle's time at Boiling Rock. That was always one of the stories the adults would skip over because they didn't think the kids were old enough to hear about it. She had been arguing for years that she was plenty old enough, but it seemed her mother and uncle were determined to think of her as a child for as long as they could.

"How did you and Toph end up being captured after the death of the Avatar? That would be a good place to start," Izumi heard paper rustling and she figured the professor was getting ready to record whatever Sokka had to say.

Izumi leaned her head back against the wall and closed her eyes, listening to the story.

"Me and Toph were on Appa. We were ready to go as soon as Katara and, um, Aang," he paused. "Sorry, this is harder than I thought it would be. I haven't talked about Aang in such a long time."

"You two were close then?"

Sokka laughed. "Yeah. He had really become a brother to me. We were Team Avatar. That wouldn't have been possible without Aang."

The professor chuckled. "No, I suppose not."

"Anyway, out of nowhere, Appa just started falling out of the sky. I couldn't get him to respond at all. We were crashing. I yelled to Toph. She did something with earthbending to break our fall. I can't really describe what it was, some rock-moving-turn-to-sandy type thingy. You'll have to ask her. She could tell you exactly what she did. Anyway, the point is, we didn't die," he paused again. "But Appa did. I don't know if he was dead before we hit or if he died when we hit. Either way, he was gone."

Izumi was startled to hear sniffling. Was her uncle upset? As far as she knew, he didn't get upset. Well, he might yell and stomp around, but he didn't cry. He was a jokester, even if his jokes were usually pretty bad. He might be a little bossy sometimes, but that was just because he was so full of good ideas. But crying? That was something she had never heard her Uncle Sokka do.

"Sorry Professor. I had almost forgotten how much I loved that big dumb beast. He might have shed all the time, and slobbered on me a lot, and tried to eat me on a few occasions, but he had a great sense of humor. He was my buddy."

Professor Zei cleared his throat. "Just to be clear here, we are talking about the wind bison, right?"

"No, we were flying around on the lemur."

The professor chuckled again. "I never know when to take you seriously, Sokka."

"Well, you wouldn't be the first."

"So Appa is the wind bison. Got it. I'm sorry for the misunderstanding. Please, go on."

"Toph could tell before I could. As soon as her feet hit the ground she told me he didn't have a heartbeat any more. I tried to revive him but I'm no healer. Or zookeeper. Toph climbed back up on him to get our stuff down while I was trying to get him to wake up. That's how the Fire Navy ended up getting us."

There was a pause.

"I'm not sure what you mean."

"Oh, well Toph can kind of see through vibrations in her feet. No wait. She sees with her feet through vibrations in the ground. No, that's not right either," Sokka sighed. "You'll have to ask her exactly how she does it. I have a hard time explaining this bending stuff. Anyway, the point is that if she'd been on the ground, she would have seen and or felt them coming. I was upset that something had happened to Appa, so I really wasn't paying attention. I don't know if I'll ever live that one down."

"You mean Toph had a hard time forgiving you?"

"Oh no, nothing like that. She never blamed me in the first place. I guess that's part of what bothered me so much about it. Because see, while she was up on Appa's back, a couple of Fire Nation guys grabbed me. That's why she couldn't just earthbend our way out of there. She didn't want to do anything that would put me in danger so she just surrendered. They tied her up and threw her in a wooden box. I didn't know where they were taking her."

"That must have been terrible."

"You have no idea. They tied me up and took me in a different direction. They ended up having to knock me out. I was screaming and yelling and kicking. See, I didn't know what had happened to Aang yet. I was trying to warn him and Katara. I had no idea that all I was doing was annoying the soldiers," he stopped for a moment. "Well, I was pretty happy about annoying the soldiers, but that didn't end up doing me any good."

"When did you find out what had happened?" The professor asked.

There was a long pause, during which Izumi wasn't sure if her uncle was going to answer or not. She was starting to get antsy. He wasn't really talking about anything interesting yet.

Izumi turned and looked up the hallway and was startled to see someone standing there. She jumped to her feet and tried not to look guilty at being caught eavesdropping. It took her a second to realize that she was looking at a kid, not an adult.

Izumi raced on quite feet to grab up Taryn before the child could yell out something and get them both caught.

"Hi Zumi," Taryn said as Izumi snatched her up.

"Shhh, Taryn. We have to whisper. The grown-ups are talking in there. We don't want them to hear us," Izumi said, bringing a finger up to Taryn's lips.

Taryn grinned. "Like secrets?" she whispered.

Izumi sighed in relief. She hadn't been sure the little girl would understand what she was trying to get at. "Yes, like secrets. Can you do that?"

The little girl nodded.

"Okay, if you can be really quiet, like secrets, we can go listen to the grown-ups talking. Would you like to try that?" Izumi asked. She figured the younger girl wouldn't be able to understand what Uncle Sokka would be talking about anyway. And there was no way Taryn would just go back down the hall by herself. No, Izumi's only option was to take the little girl with her back to the doorway to listen in.

As Izumi crept back to the doorway, she listened intently to hear if they had been caught. From the sound of the conversation, they were still safe, but had missed out on something pivotal.

"…and that's when I found out that he was gone," her uncle said in a sad voice.

Taryn leaned really close to Izumi's ear and whispered, "That's my daddy. What's he doing?"

Izumi smiled. Even though Taryn was adopted, the child had really taken to her new family. "He's telling a story."

Taryn furrowed her little brow. "I wanna go listen."

Izumi shook her head. "We have to listen from out here. And we can't tell them we listened, okay. It's a secret."

Taryn didn't look like she was falling for it. Izumi knew that if she didn't think of something quick, the little girl was going to rat them out. "Can you keep a secret? It's a big responsibility."

The little girl thought about this for a moment, with her finger on her chin. Finally, her face lit up with a big smile. "Yes, I can do that. Let's have a secret."

"Okay, the secret is to listen to the story without the grown-ups knowing. Let's try," Izumi said, motioning to the open door and the story that was passing them by each moment they spent talking.

"…I can't believe that they would do that to the prisoners," they heard the professor say.

"Well, I can tell you for sure that they did. After that, I was at the point of giving up. Even after I had healed, all I did was sit in my cell and mope. It was the most terrible feeling. I thought I couldn't be a man anymore," Sokka said. Izumi frowned in frustration. This was always the part of the story she wasn't allowed to hear. And from the sounds of it, she had missed the vital part once again.

The professor interrupted her thoughts. "This must be very hard for you Sokka. How were you able to pull yourself together?"

Her uncle cleared his throat. "Well, it was Suki."

"The Kyoshi Warrior?"

"The very one," Sokka replied. "I'd had no idea she was there in Boiling Rock with me. She knocked me back into shape."

Izumi had heard of the famous Kyoshi Warriors many times. But any time Suki's name came up, her uncle would abruptly change the subject. She had started to get the idea that this Suki and her uncle had been in love, by the way he spoke of her. Izumi knew she had died, but she had never heard how.

As it turned out, she wasn't going to find out now either.

"Look Professor, I think I need a break. This is a lot to talk about," Sokka said.

Izumi's eyes widened and she jumped to her feet with her little cousin in her arms. She darted around the corner just in time to hide from her uncle and the professor.

"They almost sawed us," Taryn said in a loud whisper.

"I know," Izumi said softly. "Look, let's go get something to eat, okay? And remember, this is our special secret, right?"

She smiled as the little girl put a finger to her lips. "Secret. Gots it."

* * *

A/N: I am so so sorry this took me so long to write. I hit a wall with it and put it down and it's taken me this long to pick it back up again. But, I have now written out an outline for the whole story, so I shouldn't hit any more walls. It's looking like a total of 28 chapters or so. I hope you'll all stick around. Next up, another flash to the past. Thanks for reading and please review.

Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender and I make no money from my stories. I just really enjoy tormenting the wonderful characters that have been provided for us. I also don't own the lyrics to "Closer to the Edge" by 30 Seconds to Mars, but it is a great song.


	8. Chapter 8

"Closer to the Edge"

By Lucawindmover

Chapter Eight

"Time to Go"

* * *

_Fifteen years previously, on Prince Zuko's Fire Navy ship…_

He covered her with a blanket and let her sleep. She certainly needed it. He needed it too at this point, but he wasn't letting her out of his sight. He didn't bother with the clothes and left them in a heap next to her food and water dishes. He sat outside her cell with his back against its door. His head kept nodding forward as he fought sleep but he was determined to be here when she woke up.

He figured it had been a few hours before he finally heard her stir. He turned and looked over his shoulder to see her looking back at him through a fringe of tangled brown hair.

"What are you doing here?" she asked. She pulled her blanket up closer, tucking it neatly under her chin. It couldn't have been easy with her bandaged hands, but she managed.

Zuko gestured to the hallway with his hands. "What does it look like? I'm protecting you."

Katara looked away. "You're a little late for that, don't you think?" she said softly.

It was a blow to his pride because they both knew she was right. "I don't intend to be late ever again." He said, surprised at the emotion in his voice.

She turned his eyes to his with a glare. "What does it matter now?"

"It matters plenty. You're still alive, aren't you?" he said. He turned around to face her, still on his knees. She was starting to make him angry.

"I wish I weren't," she said even softer.

Zuko had had enough. He knew something dreadful had happened to her, and he wasn't going to belittle that. But he also wasn't going to let her drown herself in her misery. He stood and unlocked her door.

His sudden movement frightened Katara and she pulled herself back into the corner. "Don't come near me," she said, eyes wide.

Zuko could feel his hands and face growing hot. "Look, I'm taking you out of here, it's time to go. I need you somewhere safe so I can focus on other things. Now, either you stand and walk on your own, or I carry you. Which is it?"

He watched the fear race across her face. One emotion after another before her features finally settled on defeat. Her shoulders heaved as she sighed. "I don't know if I can walk," she admitted, not meeting his eyes.

"Okay, well," Zuko said, awkwardly. "Don't fight me." He moved forward and reached under the blanket. He felt her shy away from his touch but he didn't back down. He pushed one arm under her naked legs and wrapped the other under her arms and lifted her from the pallet. She was lighter than he would have guessed. The blanket mostly stayed wrapped around her, for which they were both thankful. Her clothing was just in tatters beneath it.

Katara felt her breath hitch in her throat from his proximity. She didn't think it was Zuko in particular, but any male. After what happened the previous night, she wasn't even sure she would want Sokka to be near her. She tried to keep her heart from racing right out of her chest as he turned and carried her through the ship. She clamped her eyes shut and leaned her head against his shoulder a little, trying to pretend she were anywhere else.

He could do this, Zuko told himself as he carried her back toward his room. He had a large tub in the private bathroom attached to his quarters. He figured she would want to wash after what had befallen her. He had spare clothes that she could put on when she was finished. And she could have his bed. He had a futon he could put on the floor to sleep on, so that she wouldn't be alone. He would keep her locked up in the safest place he knew, his own quarters. He _would_ redeem himself this time.

When she leaned her cheek on his shoulder, he sighed quietly. He couldn't believe what he had allowed to happen on his own ship. She was just a girl after all. And helpless on top of that. She hadn't done anything to that man. _He_ had been the one to punish the spy by having him scrub the deck. Katara hadn't done that. And yet, that man blamed her and she had been the unfair victim.

Zuko wasn't going to let that happen again. Not on his watch.

When he got to his room, he stood outside the door, staring at it in aggravation. He couldn't turn the knob without his hands, which were full. "Katara, I have to put you down for a minute to open the door. Can you stand?"

She opened her eyes and looked around warily. "Where are we?"

Zuko rolled his eyes and sighed in frustration. "Can you stand or not?"

Katara nodded and he set her on her feet as gently as he could. She swayed but stayed standing. He kept one arm under her arms, just in case, and used the other to turn the knob. He kicked the door the rest of the way open and picked her back up, carrying her into the room.

Her eyes had a wild look to them now. He could tell she was going to lose it at any minute if he didn't do something to calm her down. He set her back on her feet and backed away a little, holding his hands up in front of him. "Through the door over there is a bathroom with a tub. Do you want to go get washed up?" He pointed to a door to her left.

She shook her head furiously, saying no. Then she seemed to stop and think about it. She let a small sob escape her and then nodded instead.

Zuko moved over to the bathroom door and opened it. He went in, running the bath and making sure she would have everything she needed within arm's distance. He warmed the water himself with firebending, checking to make sure it wasn't too hot. He came back out and looked at her. She was clutching her blanket to her like it was her lifeline. He couldn't help the way his jaw clenched, seeing her so helpless and broken. In all the time he'd known this girl, those were two traits he would have never given her. She was fierce, loyal, annoying, and strong. She stood up to him when many others wouldn't. Even though they had been enemies, were still enemies, he had always respected her.

"I need to unwrap your hands before you go in there," he said, moving closer to her. He decided against making any sudden movements. She was like a wild hog-monkey and he didn't want to scare her away.

She nodded and tried to get her hands out of the blanket without dropping it, but failed. The blanket pooled around her feet and she could do nothing to stop it. Two large, wet tears streamed down her cheeks as she stared down at her feet with her hands held out toward him.

He ignored her tattered clothing and all the parts of her that were revealed by it, though his face flushed an annoying shade of red. He motioned for her to sit down, and she did. He kept his eyes dutifully on her hands and she kept hers to the floor. He gently unwrapped her hands, inspecting her burns to make sure they weren't getting infected. When he was satisfied that her hands were in good shape, he reached forward and put his hands under her arms, helping her to her feet.

She was blushing crimson at being touched by him in her state of undress, but he couldn't have helped her up any other way. Her hands weren't strong enough to pull her up from the floor that way yet.

Zuko turned his back on her as soon as she was standing. It was a relief not to be facing her anymore. Not just her ragged clothing, but the defeat in her eyes.

"Can you make it to the tub, or should I," Zuko choked a little, "uh, carry you in there?"

"I can do it myself," Katara snapped. Zuko almost smiled at hearing a little of the old Katara back in her voice.

He listened as she shuffled to the bathroom and slammed the door behind her. Zuko's shoulders relaxed noticeably as soon as he was out of her sight. He pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes. This was going to be a lot of work.

Why was he so worried about doing it himself though? He could stop in at any port and hire a female nurse to come in and take care of her. It would make them both more comfortable, at any rate. But when he thought of anyone else, female or not, Fire Nation or not, alone with her out of his sight, it made his chest tighten. No, he would do this himself. He would make things right. No one else could do that.

He moved over to his chest of spare clothing and dug through it, trying to find something for her to wear. He was a bit taller than her, so anything he found would be too big. He just had to find something that wouldn't be so big it swallowed her whole. He managed to find a long, dark orange shirt with ties that he was sure she wouldn't mind. The way it wrapped wasn't entirely unlike some of the Water Tribe clothing he'd seen. He didn't have any leggings like she was accustomed to wearing, but he had a pair of brown pants that he'd outgrown that were tight, for training sessions. He put these aside with the shirt and packed away the rest of his clothes.

He sat on the bed, brooding. He was still debating hiring a nurse. Finally, he decided that it would be detrimental to her. She needed someone who was going to force her to take care of herself as much as she could. If she had someone to dote on her every need, someone who let her wallow in her misery, she would never fully recover. He couldn't, and wouldn't, let that happen. He was going to find the old Katara in there and make her come out. Whatever it took.

He jumped like he'd been stung when he heard a yelp from the bathroom. He went to the bathroom door and knocked. "Katara, are you okay?" he asked.

"Um, no," she responded. Her voice was muffled by the door. "I can't put my hands in the water. It burns."

Zuko smacked himself on the forehead. Of course it did. It wouldn't be comfortable for her to put her hands in the water until it cooled. She wouldn't be able to wash so much as just sit there. "Well, just wait for the water to get cold, then you should be fine."

"But I'll get all pruney," she said. "And cold."

Zuko growled. "What do you want woman? For me to come in there and wash you?"

Even as he said it, he blanched. He didn't think he could do that, even if that was what she wanted.

"No, no," she replied quickly. He could hear the fear in her voice. "Don't come in here! I'll just wait."

"Okay, now that that's settled," Zuko said. "I have clothes out here when you're done. Take your time."

"Zuko," he heard her say. He had just been about to go back to his desk.

"What?"

There was a long pause and Zuko started to get impatient. "What? What do you want?"

"You know what? Never mind. I was going to thank you but never mind. Spirits, you are impossible!" he heard her shout.

Zuko growled and turned on his heal. He went to his desk and slammed his fists on it. This girl was going to drive him crazy.

* * *

The water had finally cooled enough that Katara could try to wash herself up. It still hurt quite a bit, but it was tolerable. She wasn't sure how long she'd had to wait, but she had to admit that it was relaxing. Hot baths weren't something she'd had the luxury of much in the past. She leaned back and let the hot water ease her aching muscles. It might have been half an hour before the water had cooled enough.

She washed her hair, although it stayed a bit tangled. She scrubbed herself raw everywhere else, trying to wash off the feel of that terrible man and the things that he'd done to her. She cried while she did this, trying to be quiet in doing so. She didn't want Zuko to start talking to her again. She wasn't ready for that. And she wasn't really comfortable talking to him while she was naked. She was really at his mercy and she'd been lucky so far.

By the time she was finished, she'd come to a decision. The man who had attacked her last night had wanted to hurt her. He had wanted to break her. Well, he wasn't going to win. She felt dirty, she felt used, and she felt defiled. But she was not going to be broken.

With her lips pressed in a firm line, she managed to pull herself out of the tub. Her hands ached with the strain, but she was not going to have Zuko help her do this. She wrapped her hair up in a towel and used another to dry off. She really did feel much better. She pulled the towel around her as tightly as she could before calling out to him.

"Zuko, you said there were clothes for me?" she called through the door.

The door was thick so she couldn't hear him rustling until the door started to open. She'd had her ear pressed to it, so it surprised her and knocked her over.

"Hey, watch it!" she said, blushing indignantly.

"Here," he snapped, only shoving his arm through the partially opened door. There was a change of clothes clutched in his hand. Katara struggled to get up from the floor and take them. She was startled again as he pulled the door shut again.

"Good grief," she muttered to herself, looking at the clothes. "What's got him in such a huff?"

She looked at the clothes and sighed. She should have realized he wouldn't have any underclothes for her. She was the only girl on the ship so there wouldn't be any, at least she didn't think there would be. She wrapped herself in the shirt and was thankful for it. It was long, coming down almost to her knees, and tied similarly to her old shirt. She couldn't tie the ties, but she wrapped herself up just fine without them. She pulled on the pants and they were far too long. She had to roll up the legs but they weren't too bad.

She took the towel off of her head and dried her hair the best she could. She was very frustrated at this task though. Before, she could have just used waterbending to pull the water from her hair. Now she would have to let it drip dry.

Once she was finished she tried turning the doorknob. Her hands weren't as sore as they had been the day before. Whatever healing creams had been used on them were speeding up the rate of recovery far beyond what Katara had realized was possible. She was able to turn it and stepped into Zuko's room.

He was sitting slumped at his desk. He had his hair down, which surprised Katara. He was also out of his uniform and in plain cotton sleeping clothes. She figured he would wear silk or something, being the Fire Prince. But years of traveling on a ship had probably made him accustomed to less fine things.

He looked over his shoulder at her, putting down the brush he had been writing with. Her eyes narrowed a little. She couldn't help it. He had been the enemy, was still the enemy, for far too long.

"I made a pallet on the floor," he said.

"So you get the bed then?" Katara interrupted, crossing her arms. She still didn't like the feel of metal clanking around her wrists and added fuel to her frustration.

Zuko growled. It seemed to Katara that she caused him to do that often. "Would you let me finish? You have the bed. I'm going to sleep on the futon."

Katara was suddenly nervous. "We're both sleeping in here then?"

Zuko stood. "This is my ship. These are my quarters. I'm not going to be kicked out of my own quarters."

"If these are _your_ quarters, why am I here Zuko?" Katara asked, jaw clenched.

Zuko balled his hands into fists at his sides. "Look, I told you I was going to protect you! This is the safest place. Did you _want_ to go back to the brig?"

Katara closed her eyes. She knew she was being argumentative on purpose. He was trying to make things up to her, though she wasn't really sure why he was bothering. She shook her head.

"Good. Then go to bed. You need rest." He said, pointing to the bed in the corner.

Katara didn't fight him for once. She really was exhausted and the bed looked so much more comfortable than anything she'd slept in for ages. She climbed into it and pulled the covers up to her chin. She laid on her side, watching him as he turned down the lights with firebending. She had been a little afraid he would turn them all the way down, but he didn't. She figured he didn't want to be shut in a room in the dark with her either.

He laid on the pallet on the floor on his back with his arms behind his head. He didn't have a blanket or a pillow, which made Katara suddenly feel a little guilty. She wasn't going to admit that to him though.

"Zuko?" she asked.

"Hmm?" he responded. She could see that his eyes were closed. He didn't open them now.

"Did we need to rewrap my hands?"

"No, they are healed beyond that point. They need the air now," he answered.

"Oh, okay," Katara said. "I didn't realize you were such a good healer."

She could see him shrug. "I've seen a lot of burns. If you can burn people, you need to know how to fix it."

Katara could see the logic in that, but was having a hard time wrestling with the thought that any firebender would be willing to heal a burned victim. She sighed. There were a lot of things about the Fire Nation that she didn't know.

Which brought her to another question.

"Zuko?"

"Hmm?"

"Are we heading to the Fire Nation now?"

She saw him sigh. "Yes. We're going to the capital. I'm getting my honor back."

His honor. That was all he cared about. That was why the Avatar was killed, why she was a prisoner with no bending, why hundreds of thousands of people around the world, even this moment, were being enslaved.

"Do you feel like a big man now, with your _honor_?" she said scathingly. Her eyes narrowed and she watched as he rolled on his side, away from her.

He glanced his good eye over his shoulder, making contact with hers.

"No. No I don't."

Katara's brow furrowed in confusion. She'd meant that as an insult. She expected him to be angry, growl at her some more, maybe argue. She wasn't prepared for the guilt in his eyes, for him to seem regretful.

"Go to sleep."

Katara laid her head on his pillow and watched the rise and fall of his breath for a while, until she couldn't hold sleep off any longer.

* * *

A/N: Hello, hello! I know, two updates in one week! It's been a while since that happened. I hope you liked the chapter. It was particularly hard to write because it would have been so easy to lose Katara here. I wanted her to be strong, but it's a hard situation to be strong after. If anyone has issue with how I've portrayed the characters here, please pm me. Any input is good input. Thanks for reading and I hope to see reviews!

Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender and I make no money from my stories. I just really enjoy tormenting the wonderful characters that have been provided for us. I also don't own the lyrics to "Closer to the Edge" by 30 Seconds to Mars, but it is a great song.


	9. Chapter 9

"Closer to the Edge"

By Lucawindmover

Chapter Nine

"Down in Flames"

* * *

_Presently, in the library… _

"Did you keep Katara in your quarters for the duration of the trip?" Professor Zei asked without looking up from his page.

Zuko nodded. Then he realized the man wasn't looking at him and he answered out loud as well. "Yes. It was an inconvenience to both of us but I was determined to redeem myself for what happened to her while she was on my ship."

"Yes, yes, that was quite deplorable, wasn't it?" the older man responded, seemingly unaware of the twinge of guilt he was causing the Fire Lord. "What did you end up doing with the vile perpetrator?"

"I will agree to tell you only if you can assure me that Katara will never find out," Zuko said, making firm eye contact with the professor. The man nodded gravely and Zuko continued.

"Previous to that instance, any man I'd found guilty of that crime on my ship was stripped to his loincloth and dropped off on the coast. When I told Katara this, she begged me to do anything else. She was afraid the man would harm some other girl. Frankly, so was I. I told her that I sent him to an Earth Kingdom prison. Really, I locked him in a metal box and threw him overboard."

There was a moment of silence as Professor Zei regarded the still-young Fire Lord. "Was that the first man you killed?" he asked.

"Yes, it was," Zuko responded.

"How do you think that changed you?"

Zuko thought about this question for a moment. "After that moment, I think I became less willing to take a life. It made me realize what extreme events would have to take place in order for me to consider it an option."

"Did your sister confront you about the loss of her agent?"

Zuko smirked. "No. You see, that would mean she had to admit planting him there in the first place. I have to admit," Zuko said, shaking his head. "It was nice to be holding something over _her_ head for once."

"Yes," the professor said, distractedly. "I suppose it was. Now, can you tell me, was the rest of the trip uneventful?"

Zuko laughed outright at his question. "Oh, hardly. Not if you mean Katara and I getting along. She and I fought like mad platypus bears the whole trip. I kept trying to be nice, trying to redeem myself. She would be suspicious, I would get angry, and she would get angry. Yelling would ensue and then we would start the process over again. But if you mean storms, or attacks, or my sister trying to take over, then yes I suppose it was uneventful."

Professor Zei chuckled as he jotted down this information. He sighed merrily and looked back up at Zuko. "Did you ever manage to do that?"

"I'm sorry," Zuko furrowed his brow in confusion. "Did I ever manage to do what?"

"Oh dear, you know sometimes my mind jumps from one thought to the other. I meant to ask if you were ever able to redeem yourself."

Zuko thought about this for quite some time. He had managed to help heal her hands. As far as he knew she had full use of them and only light scarring. He had kept anyone else on the ship from taking advantage of her again. He had protected her from Azula once they made it to the Fire Nation. But over the years, he had also caused her so much pain. He had allowed her best friend to be killed. He had allowed her to be attacked on his watch. He had imprisoned her and taken away her bending. Or at least, he had allowed it to happen.

He shook his head. "You know, I spent two, almost three years searching for my honor. I rode the seas in search of the Avatar. I just knew that if I brought my father the Avatar, everything could go back to the way it was before," he paused. "And I was wrong. Sometimes I wonder if my quest for redemption in Katara's eyes is just as fruitless. It's no less taxing, I can tell you that."

"Does she still blame you for what happened?"

Zuko laughed bitterly and spread his hands wide. "That's the worst part. I don't think she ever blamed me. At first, she blamed me for the death of the Avatar, but I think she realized pretty quickly that I wouldn't have done what Azula did. But as far as her attack, no. She never blamed me. I wish that she had. I wouldn't have felt as bad. I would have felt punished a little, which I still think I deserve."

"I hate to sound like a therapist here," the older man said. "But have you spoken to her about any of this?"

Zuko shook his head. "What good would it do her to rehash these things?"

"Well, it might be hard for her, but it would be good for you," Professor Zei said.

Zuko looked to the side and thought about this for a moment. When he looked up again, he said, "I've long since grown out of doing what's best for me at the expense of others. I won't do anything more to hurt her than I already have done."

_At least, I'll try_, he amended in his head.

* * *

Katara had been looking for Zuko for almost half an hour. The two of them hadn't had a chance to speak alone since dinner the previous night. She wanted to ask him to take Izumi outside and practice firebending. There were quite a few things she would like to teach her daughter, but how to be a firebender was something she couldn't even come close to. She had tried to help the girl adapt waterbending forms to firebending, but the two styles were so different that it didn't work. Izumi had been doing pretty well at controlling herself for the last year or so, the last few months being the exception.

Izumi was closing in on teenager territory fast and she and her mother bumped heads more and more often. These bouts of anger and attitude usually led to Izumi storming off and setting things on fire in her wake. She would swear she couldn't have done it, that the objects just caught on fire all on their own. Katara would follow behind her, using her waterbending to douse the flames.

Katara laughed at herself when she realized what she wanted Zuko to teach their daughter the most was restraint. Control. These were not traits he was known for.

She finally decided to head to the Professor's study. Surely if she couldn't find him anywhere else, he'd be there. She thought back to the painful memories she'd shared with the professor and wondered what the man would be asking Zuko. She approached the door quietly, not wanting to disturb them.

"…I won't do anything more to hurt her than I already have done," she heard Zuko say. She stopped next to the door and waited. She didn't want to eavesdrop, but she didn't really want to interrupt either.

Luckily, she didn't have to make that decision.

"Professor, I think I need to stretch my legs. Would it be okay if I came back later?" she heard him ask.

Katara backed away a little and then started walking through the door about the same time Zuko came through. She didn't want him to think she'd been standing there, listening in the whole time. Her result was nearly knocking him over. He grabbed her upper arms to steady them both, looking down at her.

She hadn't been this close to him since the wedding. Here, with his long-fingered hands wrapped around her arms, the line of his body pressed to hers, she could almost forget that the wedding had ever happened.

He couldn't help the way his heart jumped into his throat at her proximity. He knew he was holding her longer and closer than what was strictly necessary, but he couldn't bring himself to let her go. The way she looked up at him with barely disguised need almost brought his lips to hers.

"Are you two alright?" Professor Zei called from his desk, breaking the moment.

Zuko dropped his hands and Katara took a step back.

"We're fine," he called over his shoulder without taking his eyes from hers.

* * *

"Now breathe," Zuko instructed.

Izumi grumbled in frustration. "I _know_ how to breathe," she said as she rolled her eyes.

That eye roll was going to drive him nuts. "Apparently you don't. If you did, I wouldn't have to tell you to do it."

Izumi sighed and glared at her father, breathing as he instructed. She couldn't believe she'd let her mother talk her into this. Granted, she had more or less been ordered out-of-doors by the woman. There was no arguing when her mother was in the frame of mind to be obeyed. She'd seen even her Uncle Sokka take a water whip to the behind when her mother was in that kind of mood. Izumi had been on the receiving end of one of those enough times to know that she wasn't ready to have it repeated.

Izumi hadn't always disliked her father. In fact, there was a time in her life when she had doted on his every word. Back when she was smaller, she would jump happily into his arms any time she got to see him. He would tell her bedtime stories, when he could, and write her very long letters that her mother would read to her, over and over. He sent her little trinkets and took her on adventures. Well, tame adventures like camping in the woods, which to her little brain at the time had been quite grand.

And then there had been the wedding.

He was a different man in her eyes now. She had always thought that someday, when the world was a little more peaceful, she and her father and mother and the twins could all be together, like other families were. But then he had married another woman. Izumi had even been to the wedding. She saw her father dressed in his finest Fire Nation Royalty getup, watched as he took lifelong vows to someone other than her mother.

What kind of vows had he taken to his children? That's what Izumi wanted to know.

He hadn't changed much since she'd last seen him. Maybe his hair was a little longer. He didn't seem as tall to her, but then she'd shot up four inches or so since the wedding. He regarded her as a stranger. He looked at her like he didn't know her.

_Well, he doesn't_, she thought.

"Widen your stance, and concentrate," he said now.

Izumi pushed her feet a little farther apart. "What am I concentrating on, the sun?" she asked, annoyed. They were standing just far enough away from the library that they weren't in the shade. Izumi had more tolerance for heat than most of the rest of her family, father excluded, so it didn't usually bother her. But being here in the middle of the desert with nothing but the sun and the sand made her wish, not for the first time, that she had been born a waterbender.

"The sun is the world's greatest source of fire. So yes, you are concentrating on the sun. Concentrate on how it makes your body feel," Zuko said, watching the girl squirm a little in her stance.

She had changed so much since he last saw her. She had been a happy girl, cheerful. She had loved to hop in his lap and tell him all sorts of long winded stories, most of which he was sure she had made up. She had been his little princess. If he could officially claim her as his daughter to the world, she would be an _actual_ princess. Until the wedding, she had never seemed to hold it against him. He wasn't sure how much of politics she understood, but until that one fateful day, she had at least loved him despite the fact that he had a duty to perform.

Who was this angry child staring back at him now?

"It makes me feel hot," she grumbled. They were getting nowhere like this. Until they cleared the air, he might as well be trying to teach firebending to a stone.

Zuko relaxed his stance and told her to do the same. He motioned for her to follow him back over to the shade. There wasn't a lot of it at this time of day, but if they sat next to the stone walls of the library they would be out of the direct sunlight anyway. He sat against the wall, asking her to do the same.

She obeyed him warily and seated herself out of his arm's length, crossing her arms and slouching.

Zuko sighed. "Izumi, you are very angry. We can't go any farther into training with you like this. You need restraint and control, two things that are very hard to have when you're angry," he paused and turned to look out across the sand. "Trust me, I know."

"You always talk like you know everything,_ that's_ what makes me angry," Izumi responded.

"I clearly don't know everything or else I would know what to do to make you less angry with me," Zuko replied without looking at her.

Izumi looked down to the sand beneath her. With her finger she started drawing little designs in the sand. "Well, you could un-marry that Fire Nation woman, that'd be a great start."

Zuko furrowed his brow and pursed his lips. "You don't understand my duty to my nation. If you did, you wouldn't ask such things from me."

"Well what things _can_ I ask of you?" Izumi spat, her temper rising fully. "I can't ask you to marry my mother, I can't ask you to visit, I can't ask to visit you, I can't ask you to accept me as your daughter! You come back from your _duty_ to your nation, acting all noble for your sacrifice!" Izumi shouted as she stood. "What about your duty to your children? Where do we rank on your to-do list? What about _our_ sacrifices?"

Izumi stamped her foot in the sand and slipped, falling on her rear. She looked down to find that in her anger, she had fire-bended a whole area of the sand into shiny glass. She would have loved to be amazed, for she had never done anything like that before. But she was too angry and embarrassed. She stood again and stormed off, letting herself back into the library.

Zuko sat, dumbfounded.

* * *

A/N: I wrote and rewrote this chapter. Twice I had 1800 or more words and scrapped it, lol. I had a very specific set of information I wanted to impart and kept going about it the wrong way. But I think I've got it straight now.

Also, I now have set up a separate Facebook account for my writing! Facebook . com / Lucawindmover (remove all the spaces, lol) This is a great way to keep informed about updates, brainstorming, ask questions and give feedback. For authors, it's a great way to bounce ideas and keep in touch. I hope you will all friend-request me. It's been a lot of fun using this account to keep up with writing!

Thanks so much for all your reviews. The next chapter is another flashback. Excitement!

Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender and I make no money from my stories. I just really enjoy tormenting the wonderful characters that have been provided for us. I also don't own the lyrics to "Closer to the Edge" by 30 Seconds to Mars, but it is a great song.


	10. Chapter 10

"Closer to the Edge"

By Lucawindmover

Chapter Ten

"I'm Taking You"

* * *

_Fifteen years previously, on Prince Zuko's Fire Navy ship…_

"Katara, I need a word with you," Zuko said, coming through the door and closing it behind him. He had to announce himself upon entering his own rooms these days, or else fear the wrath of Katara's pillows.

The last few days had been tenuous at best. There were very few things he and Katara could agree on. They argued about food, about her hands, about bathroom breaks, about sleeping. Even when he tried to agree with her, she argued about it. He was starting to realize that perhaps she was arguing so much because she didn't want to get to comfortable around him. She always seemed to get angry right after they had a conversation that they _didn't_ fight about.

"Hmmm?"

She was sitting on his bed pulling his brush through her wavy, brown hair. She had mostly regained the use of her hands, and though there would be light scarring, she had come out better than most. Sometimes he wondered if she had managed to heal herself a little, even with the binding rings on. The healing salves they had used on her hands shouldn't have done their job so quickly. He shook off this thought, however, because if that were the case, Katara would be in a lot of danger.

"As you know, we're in port," he stared. He walked over to his desk chair and stood, holding the back of it in his hands. "My father has requested an audience with myself and Azula."

Katara shrugged. "That doesn't sound too out of the norm though, right?" she asked. Upon arriving in the Fire Nation, Katara had come to the realization that her life was bound pretty tightly to Zuko's. If something happened to him, she would be helpless in enemy territory. She didn't want to rely on him, or trust him, but she didn't have many other choices at this point. The thought of him going off to see the Fire Lord made her nervous. If that man decided to take the life of his only son, he'd be taking her life as well.

Zuko pressed his lips together in a tight line. "The audience was pretty much expected," he said. "But he wants our prisoners to accompany us. _That_ is quite unusual."

Zuko watched as some of the color drained from Katara's face. So she was afraid. That was a good thing because so was he. He needed her to be afraid so that she would finally show some restraint and respect. One wrong word in front of the Fire Lord and she would be gone in an instant.

"You are and your earthbender friend are technically being considered 'spoils of war.' As such, I'm supposed to present you to my father. The Fire Lord traditionally gets to choose what he wants first, and then the Prince and Princess are allowed to choose what items they want. The rest is usually thrown in the Royal Vault. This is obviously different because you are people, not gold and such."

"I'm going to be treated like an object, aren't I?" Katara asked, anger in her eyes. Her hands clutched the hair brush so tightly that they ached. Zuko could see that her knuckles were white.

"Yes. But Katara, I _need_ you to trust me. I—"

Katara interrupted him by jumping to her feet and throwing the brush to the floor. "Trust you? Is that all?"

"It's the only chance you have!" Zuko shouted, advancing on her. "You don't understand! I don't know what my father would _do_ to you. You _have_ to trust me to get you out of this. To get _us_ out of this."

"Since when have we been an 'us'?" Katara asked, her hands balled in fists at her sides. She didn't back down as he moved closer.

"When did you and I become a 'we'?" he pointed out. He was only a step away from her now, staring down the length of his nose at her.

Katara froze, her jaw clenched. Why was he doing this to her? She closed her eyes as tears started to pool in her eyes. "Why do you care whether I'm killed or not?"

There was a long silence while Katara stood and let the tears streak her cheeks. Zuko took a deep breath, his chest tightening at the sight of her so lost.

"Because I was wrong," he said softly. Katara opened her eyes and looked up at him, confused.

"Wrong about what?"

Zuko looked away. He trained his eyes on a rivet in the wall and forced himself not to look away from it. "I was wrong about the Avatar. I shouldn't have let Azula do what she did. I shouldn't have let that man do to you what he did. I've made some very big mistakes, and I need to redeem myself. That's why I care about what happens to you."

Katara took a moment before responding. "So, instead of a search for your honor, you are now searching for redemption?"

Zuko closed his eyes. "Yes."

He was startled when he felt her grab his uniform and push him as hard as she could. He stumbled a few steps across the room before he regained his balance. His eyes went wide and he whirled his head around, glaring at her. "What was that for?"

"You don't care about me at all! You only care about redemption, just like you only cared about your honor before!" She was staring him down. From somewhere she had managed to find the brush again and she was holding it menacingly. She had fallen into a waterbending form again, out of habit.

"What?" he sputtered. "I didn't say anything like that!" He took a couple of steps away from the waterbender.

"That's practically what you _just said_!" Katara yelled, color rising in her cheeks. She had long since wiped the tears away.

Zuko was suddenly so mad he couldn't see straight. He growled and turned to punch a sizable dent in the closest wall. "I didn't mean it that way!" he shouted, turning his angry eyes back to hers.

Katara hesitated. She didn't give up her aggressive stance wielding the hairbrush, but she did ask, "Well, then what did you mean?"

"I'm looking for redemption in _your_ eyes. Yours only," he said, advancing on her again. This time he grabbed both of her shoulders and shook her a little. "You don't seem to understand. You are the only one who _matters_ anymore."

Katara stared up at him in wonder. Did he mean that? He certainly seemed like it. And if there was one thing she had learned about Zuko in the time she'd known him, it was that he didn't usually say things he didn't mean. He often said things that he meant to come out differently than the way he said them, but he didn't usually lie outright. And certainly not for the sake of making anyone else feel better.

But somehow, she _did_ feel better. And worse. She closed her eyes and did something that shocked them both. She dropped the brush and wrapped her arms around him, pressing her face into the hollow of his shoulder and neck. And she cried, great gasping sobs with tears flowing steadily.

He wasn't sure what do to at first. He didn't hug people. It wasn't because he was opposed to hugging, it was just that his family didn't do that much. He wasn't sure he'd hugged anyone since his mother. His arms kind of hesitated in the air for a moment. Then he took a deep breath and wrapped them around her, holding her closer. He leaned his scarred cheek against her wet one and held her.

If this was what she needed, he would give her that. It was a small price to pay on the path to redemption.

* * *

Prince Zuko knelt before his father with his sister, Princess Azula, to his left. He had not seen his father in three long years. He had been a child when he left. He had returned as a man. He had redeemed himself by helping destroy the Avatar and capture his traitorous uncle. These were the things his father spoke to him. Zuko nodded and answered questions and generally behaved as was fitting for the Crowned Prince of the Fire Nation. His father was pleased. Princess Azula was afforded the same treatment. She recounted her accomplishments with a sense of pride that Zuko seemed to lack, no so much in his words as in his tone. He hoped his father hadn't noticed.

Zuko now had what he had worked so hard to regain. He had his honor. He had his place at his father's right hand. He had his throne, his home, his family. He had everything he had ever wanted.

And it was no longer enough.

The moment came when four soldiers were ordered in, carrying the spoils of war. There were numerous carts of gold and treasures, silver and gems. There were expensive silks, artfully woven tapestries, beautifully painted screens and fans. All of these were paraded before the Fire Lord who watched with little interest.

Then came the moment Zuko had most anticipated. Dread was heavy in his stomach as he watched the amusement flood his father's eyes. Added to the binding rings of the two benders were heavy chains manacling the girls' hands and feet. They shuffled in with their eyes cast down, as Zuko had begged Katara to do. Katara must have told the blind earthbender to do the same, even though the girl couldn't see anyway. He fervently hoped both girls would do as he had bid them, for the sake of their lives.

"And here are the greatest spoils, the pet waterbender and earthbender!" Fire Lord Ozai announced as the girls were brought before him and forced to kneel. Katara bowed her head to the floor, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. Toph stayed upright, refusing. One of the guards kicked her in the back until the earthbender rested her forehead on the floor as well.

"Father," Zuko began, inwardly filled with fear though outwardly he showed nothing but ambivalence.

"Yes, Prince Zuko?" the Fire Lord said, turning his eyes to his son.

Zuko took a breath and steeled himself for what he was about to say. "I have a request."

"And what is that, Prince Zuko?"

Zuko looked up from the floor, where his gaze had been trained, and met his father's eyes. "I would like to keep the waterbender for myself."

The Fire Lord regarded him for a moment before bursting into laughter. Zuko tensed. He was sure laughter from the Fire Lord was not a good thing.

"She is quite a prize, worthy of the Fire Lord himself. Why do you think I should give her to you? Are you worthy of her?" his father asked, a smirk lingering on his lips.

_No, I am not_, he thought. Out loud he said, "I would like her as a trophy, if you decide not to keep her." He willed his voice not to crack, begged his body not to betray him.

Fire Lord Ozai looked back to the girl and seemed to think for a bit. Finally he said, "Rumor has it you have already taken her as a trophy. That she spent your entire voyage in your private chambers."

From the corner of his eye he watched as Azula grinned mischievously. He wasn't surprised. "She was indeed in my chambers," Zuko answered ambiguously.

The Fire Lord waved his hand dismissively. "Well, I have no use for her then. You may keep her."

"Father," Azula started, shock clearly written on her face. Zuko could tell she had been sure she was getting him in trouble. "You aren't angry for Zuko's illicit affair with the waterbending peasant?"

"He may take his pleasure however he sees fit, so long as he doesn't father any bastard children. And even those are easily taken care of," their father answered. Zuko could feel his face grow warm. From where he sat he could see Katara's shoulders shaking with tears. He had never felt so low in his entire life.

"Then I want to keep my slave too," Azula stated. To Zuko, she sounded just like a petulant child who hadn't gotten her way.

"You mean to tell me you haven't tired of the girl yet? I know what sorts of things happen on your ship," the Fire Lord said, bringing his fingers to his chin, his hands forming a triangle there.

Azula shrugged and smiled. "If I broke her too soon, where would the fun be?"

Fire Lord Ozai nodded. "You may both keep your pets as a sign of my favor. You both proved yourselves and you are deserving. I will have my pick in the days to come."

It took everything in Zuko's will not to show the relief he felt at these words.

"You are dismissed. You may take your trophies with you," the Fire Lord said before standing and leaving the chamber himself.

Zuko stood and waited a moment as the blood rushed back to his feet painfully. Azula was already up and jerking a chain on the earthbender's neck. The girl was fighting valiantly as Azula dragged her from the room, cackling at the plight of her victim.

Katara hadn't moved. She remained kneeling, forehead on the floor. Zuko approached slowly, not sure of what to do or say. When she finally raised her head and looked at him, he had never seen such fury.

"Am I your little waterbending bed warmer now? Is this what you _saved_ me for?" Katara said scathingly.

Zuko looked around worriedly, and motioned for her to keep her voice down. "Not here, okay? We can talk about this when we get back to my rooms."

Katara continued to glare at him as he helped haul her to her feet. She didn't say anything, but she didn't have to. He reluctantly took her chain in his hands and motioned for her to follow him. She thought about fighting, like Toph had done. But the look of intense worry on his brow made her keep quiet and follow him.

He led her down a series of hallways toward the Royal Housing wing of the structure. Katara closely noted each door and tapestry, trying to remember her way out just in case the moment ever came that she could make a run for it.

He motioned for her to enter a door at the end of a hallway and closed it tightly behind them. He immediately went about unlocking her shackles.

The moment her hands and feet were unbound, she began a barrage of hits to his chest. She hit and smacked, kicked his shins and pushed him. He just stood there, refusing to meet her eyes. Finally she had tired herself out and just stood, breathing heavily and cradling her sore hands to her chest. Her eyes gleamed with tears.

"Are you finished?" Zuko asked quietly. He was sure he would have bruises to hide in the morning.

Katara stared at him for a moment. "You aren't mad? Your little _slave_ is hitting you. Aren't you going to punish me?"

Zuko finally met her gaze. Katara was surprised to see the pain there. "It's no less than what I deserve. And you are no slave to me. We will keep up that front for everyone else, so that you'll be safe," he said, turning away.

Katara finally slumped to the floor, the weight of the situation hitting her all at once. Shame filled her eyes, heat filled her cheeks. "Everyone thinks that we're… that you're…that I'm…"

She heard Zuko sigh. "I know. And if I hadn't let my father think that, he would have taken you for his own. I know he would have," he turned and looked at her over his shoulder, with his good eye. "You deserve better than how I know he would have treated you. I'm sorry that we have to continue this charade."

Katara brought her hands to her face and sobbed.

* * *

A/N: Thanks for reading. Please review! Next up: back to the present to hear what Toph has to say about her time with Azula. I'm hereby warning you. Next chapter will be dark.

Also, I now have set up a separate Facebook account for my writing! www . facebook . com/Lucawindmover (minus the spaces). This is a great way to keep informed about updates, brainstorming, ask questions and give feedback. For authors, it's a great way to bounce ideas and keep in touch. I hope you will all friend-request me. It's been a lot of fun using this account to keep up with writing!

Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender and I make no money from my stories. I just really enjoy tormenting the wonderful characters that have been provided for us. I also don't own the lyrics to "Closer to the Edge" by 30 Seconds to Mars, but it is a great song.


	11. Chapter 11

"Closer to the Edge"

By Lucawindmover

Chapter Eleven

"I'm Not Saying"

* * *

_Presently, in the library…_

Toph had been answering the professor's questions for half an hour or more. All of the professor's chairs were made of wood, which made her feel vulnerable, so Toph had just made herself comfortable on the stone floor. She was lounging back with a foot propped in her lap. She was absently picking her toes with one hand while she leaned back on the other. She sighed in satisfaction between questions. If there was one thing she liked, it was a good toe-picking.

She had already answered the man's questions about how she came to be the earthbending teacher of the Avatar. When they had met previously it wasn't a topic that had come up. She explained how they had gotten out of the desert before and their adventures in Ba Sing Se. He was building her up to talk about the time directly after that. She knew he was. She wasn't a moron. She appreciated the fact that he was trying to be tactful, but her time with Azula wasn't something she necessarily wanted to talk about.

"When were they able to put the Binding Bands on you?" Professor Zei asked, looking up from his paper. He had to strain his neck a little to look over the edge of the desk. He wasn't accustomed to people sitting around on the floor like this.

"Well," Toph started, figuring she could at least tell him this. "They put me in that wooden box, which was smart because I had figured out how to bend metal by that point."

"I had heard of this!" Professor Zei exclaimed, his eyes wide. "Before you leave the library, I would love to see a demonstration, and perhaps draw up some metal-bending scrolls for you."

"Yeah, yeah," Toph said, flicking something from her fingers across the room. "Did you want an answer to your question or not?"

"Oh, yes," the professor said, calming himself. "My apologies. Please continue."

"Anyway, like I was saying. They put me in a wooden box and started carrying me away. I could hear Sokka yelling like a mad man. He was trying to warn the others. It didn't do any good. I already knew something bad had happened to Aang by then," Toph paused. She wasn't sure what she wanted to say next.

The professor could see this and prompted her, "How did you know something had happened?"

Professor Zei watched as the young woman bit her lip. He really hated bringing all of these terrible memories into the light, but he knew it must be done. How would the future generations learn from the mistakes of the past if they weren't recorded anywhere?

"It was Appa that clued me in. Me and the big dumb beast had never really been the best of friends. I hated flying on him because it took me so far away from my element. Made me feel more blind. I still liked him though. Kind of a love and hate thing. But when he just died, out of the blue, I figured right then it had more to do with Aang than Appa."

"That was very observant of you," the professor said as he jotted down more sentences on his paper.

"Yeah well, we aren't all as dense as Sokka you know," she responded, causing him to laugh.

After a moment, Professor Zei realized that she wasn't going to share any more information without him prompting her, so he asked, "What happened after they put you in the box?"

Toph took a deep breath and sighed. She didn't want to talk about this. Not to a stranger anyway. She had told Sokka everything that had happened to her, but she hadn't told anyone else. She wasn't sure she wanted to do so now. "Well, they took me on a ship. I knew it was a ship because of the way everything was swaying. I could feel the metal out there, but I couldn't do anything about it. The way they had me wrapped in wood made it about impossible."

The earthbender paused, and then continued. "At some point they realized that if they wanted to subdue me further, they were going to have to open the box. That's what they were discussing when I first heard _her_ voice."

The professor looked up to see the blind young woman shudder. She wouldn't even speak the name of her captor, even after all these years.

"She told them not to bother taking me out of the box. She told them to douse the whole box with chloroform, that it would seep through the wood and knock me out. I didn't have any idea what that was at the time, but before I knew it there was a terrible smell and I blacked out."

"Hmm, chloroform, eh?" Professor Zei said. "I haven't heard of that being used too much."

The earthbender just shrugged. She leaned back on her other hand and switched her toe-picking to the other foot.

"Were you still on the ship when you woke up?"

Toph seemed to think about this for a moment. Finally she pushed a piece of hair out of her face and answered. "Yeah, I was in a cell. They'd been able to put those terrible Binding Bands on me while I was out. When I woke up I was the most helpless I'd ever been in my life. I couldn't feel any earth. I could touch the metal, but I couldn't move it. I can't describe it to you. But it was like the fire-harpy had made me as useless as my parents had always thought I was."

Toph stopped talking and sat up straight. Her head turned toward the doorway, a smirk playing on her lips. "Stop hanging around in hallways. You can come in here, Meathead."

Professor Zei was confused as Sokka made himself visible in the doorway. Apparently it was a nickname for the man. "Oh Sokka, I didn't realize you were standing there."

Sokka nodded toward the professor and then turned to his wife. "Sorry Toph, I didn't mean to spy on you," he said, scratching the back of his head with his right hand. "I was just, you know, checking in."

Toph smirked and leaned back on her hands. "You are _so_ not a good spy," she said, wiggling her toes at him.

Sokka crossed his arms and frowned. "Hey, did you hear me out there or _feel_ me?"

"I felt you, ding-dong."

"Aha!" Sokka shouted excitedly. He grinned, pointing an unseen finger towards Toph's face. "If you were normal I _would_ have been doing good spying!"

Toph laughed. "If normal means being like you, I'll pass thanks."

Sokka just laughed and reached down to grab her hand. She felt the movement in the air near her face and lifted her hand up to take his. He pulled her to her feet and turned back to the professor.

"She's done talking about this," Sokka said, seriousness creeping into his tone. There was a finality to this statement that got Professor Zei's attention.

"Wait, what?" the professor said, confused. "Toph, you don't want to answer any more questions?"

"Nope," the earthbender said, brushing the wrinkles out of her shirt for having sat on it. She didn't really care about the wrinkles herself, but she had to start thinking about what kind of example she wanted to set for the little earthbender in her care.

The earthbender didn't voice an explanation. "But why not?" Professor Zei was forced to ask. He was flummoxed. He thought their session had been going well, even if it had been a little slow.

"Look bookman, it's personal, okay?" Toph said, and with that she left the room. Sokka shot him a meaningful glance and followed his wife out of the room.

* * *

_Fifteen years previously, on Princess Azula's Fire Navy ship…_

Before Toph had figured out metalbending, she had hated being on a ship. It was the same with wooden boats now. She didn't like being unable to touch her element. She couldn't feel vibrations, couldn't 'see' where she was going. She couldn't protect herself. It made her feel vulnerable and weak.

When she woke up on the Fire Navy ship, she immediately knew something was wrong. Her fingers found the metal bands around her wrists and ankles pretty quickly and, from the weird vibrations they put off, could tell they were the reason why she could touch the metal of the boat, but couldn't feel it.

She stood and found she could still see the vibrations around her with her feet, but they were faint, a shadow of what she had been able to see before.

She felt helpless for the first time in her life. She'd always been blind. But she'd always had an acute sense of hearing and earthbending to help her see. Her parents had always treated her like she was a porcelain doll. With her bending taken away, she finally understood why they had treated her that way.

The fire-harpy, Toph's way of thinking of the horrible Fire Nation Princess, thought the earthbender was pretty helpless as well. She didn't seem to understand that Toph could still hear, still feel, still taste. So what if she couldn't see? The earthbender was determined not to let that bring her down. She wasn't going to let anything the fire-harpy did bring her down.

Or so she thought.

It started with words. Azula tried to break her with words.

"Your little Avatar's head makes a great trophy," she had said through the bars of Toph's cell.

Toph laid on her back, one foot propped up on her other knee, her hands behind her head. "I bet it'll get smelly after a while," she responded. Her heart ached at the thought of Aang's head anywhere but on his body, but she couldn't let the fire-harpy see that. She wasn't going to give her tormenter what she wanted.

The girl growled, frustrated that this avenue would get her nowhere. "What about your waterbender friend? I hear the peasant is being held in my brother's chambers. He'll be using her just as he likes, I can guarantee that." Toph could hear the grin in the older girl's voice.

Katara being raped and used by Fire Nation soldiers? By the Prince himself? Toph suppressed a shudder. She turned it into a shrug, "I always told Sweetness that she was too soft for her own good." Toph grit her teeth.

She felt Azula storm off and it was a few days later before the Princess made another appearance. "I've sent the other water peasant off to Boiling Rock Prison for some special treatment," she started.

Toph, who had been worrying about Sokka's fate for the last two days, felt cold dread in her stomach. She tried not to betray her fear though. "He'll need special treatment alright. I think that kid has a few screws loose if you ask me," she said, trying to be the picture of nonchalance.

"Ha!" The princess said and began to cackle terribly. Toph realized this could not be a good sign. "Well at least we don't have to worry about his diseased brain spawning."

Toph furrowed her brown, confused. "What are you talking about, fire-harpy?" she asked, addressing the princess by her new nickname for the first time.

"We've taken something from every one of you now," the girl said, still laughing. Toph could feel her in the hallway, dancing from foot to foot. "We took your Avatar's head, your waterbender's virtue, and now your warrior's manhood!"

Toph jumped to her feet for the first time in front of her tormentor. "You did WHAT?"

She could feel the princess move forward and wrap her hands around the bars of Toph's cell. "We had him castrated," Azula said. "But you're so young you probably don't know what that means. You see we took his balls and we cut them off. You do know what _that_ means, right?"

Toph was young, but she'd spent enough time among the men of the underground earthbending competitions to know how much they valued their 'manhood' and such. She didn't have to understand exactly what Azula said to understand what they had done to her friend. They had broken him, as surely as they had broken Aang and Katara.

The earthbender felt her fury rise, finally more than she could take. She rushed the bars, screaming, and tried to grab the firebender, but missed. The girl laughed and Toph could feel her leaving.

Just before she was out of earshot, the fire-harpy said, "But you know, I'm not so sure we've taken anything from you _yet_. We'll see about that."

* * *

_Presently, in the library…_

"You didn't have to talk to him, if you didn't want to," Sokka said quietly. He pulled Toph into their room and shut the door behind them. Taryn was still with Katara and the twins so they had some time to themselves.

Toph shrugged. "I wanted to try. I didn't realize it was gonna be that hard," she said. She moved over to the pallet on the floor that served as their bed. Toph always felt more secure sleeping near her element, so she and Sokka had pulled their blankets and pillows off the bed and put them on the floor.

Sokka sank down next to her and pulled her into a fierce hug. Toph hated the way her eyes welled up with tears. She hadn't even told the professor the worst part.

A/N: I had a really hard time with this chapter. I need other perspectives in this story, and a lot of terrible things have happened to both Sokka and Toph. It's obvious by seeing them in the present that they were able to overcome these things, but they've left their marks and I'm having a hard time figuring out how to integrate everything. I hope I've done okay. Also, I'm not super happy with how this chapter is written, but I was afraid that if I stopped and tried to write and rewrite, it would actually cause me to put the story down for a while. I really don't want to do that again. So consider this a bridge chapter to get us back to the Zutara action. That's what we'll see in the next chapter so hang in there. Thanks for your time and patience. And your reviews!

Also, I now have set up a separate Facebook account for my writing! www . facebook . com/Lucawindmover (minus the spaces). This is a great way to keep informed about updates, brainstorming, ask questions and give feedback. For authors, it's a great way to bounce ideas and keep in touch. I hope you will all friend-request me. It's been a lot of fun using this account to keep up with writing!

Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender and I make no money from my stories. I just really enjoy tormenting the wonderful characters that have been provided for us. I also don't own the lyrics to "Closer to the Edge" by 30 Seconds to Mars, but it is a great song.


	12. Chapter 12

"Closer to the Edge"

By Lucawindmover

Chapter Twelve

"I'm Sorry"

* * *

_Fifteen years previously, in the Fire Nation Capital…_

Zuko moved behind an ornate screen situated in the corner of his bedroom and began to undress. Normally, he had no use for the screen. He would have just undressed next to his bed. But he didn't want to undress in front of Katara, who was sitting on the floor still, as far as he knew. He took a deep breath and shucked the rest of his armor and uniform, pulling on a comfortable pair of loose, silky pants to sleep in.

He had missed living in the Fire Nation for a lot of reasons. He had missed the heat of the night and the ability to sleep in nothing if the notion caught him. Usually he slept in pants at least, but he knew it got hot enough on some occasions that it was more comfortable to sleep with nothing at all. During his years of travelling the world in search of the Avatar, he'd had to bundle up to sleep. He'd had to bundle up all the time almost, just to stay as warm as he had been here at home. Sleeping with all that fabric wrapped around him was uncomfortable and he was glad to be leaving those days behind.

_At least for a little while_, he thought.

When he came out from behind the screen, Katara was still slumped on the floor. It seemed she had finished crying, but hadn't decided she was ready to move yet.

It was late. It had been almost sunset before they'd made it to port. The meeting had taken longer than Zuko had suspected. He couldn't suppress the yawn that left him now.

Katara looked up at him at the sound. Her eyes were puffy and red-rimmed, but her cheeks had dried. She seemed to collect herself and stood, still eyeing him warily. Zuko sighed. He figured he would never really see that look go away.

"Where am I going to sleep?" she asked, pushing a length of hair back behind her ear. "Where do your slaves _usually_ sleep?"

Zuko narrowed his eyes. "I don't _usually_ have slaves." He watched as Katara crossed her arms and he knew that they were going to fight. Again.

"Look," he said. "I need you to come over here to the bed. I need to talk to you about something important."

He didn't check to see if she followed him. He moved over to the large, four-poster bed and pushed back the dark red curtains. When he turned, she was right behind him. He motioned for her to get in.

"Oh no, I don't think so," Katara said, taking a step back and holding her hands up.

Zuko stomped his foot in frustration. "I will explain in a minute. Would you just trust me?"

Katara pinched her lips in a firm line and then relented. She crawled up into the bed. Zuko followed her, closing the curtains tightly behind him.

"Look, Katara," he started as he scooted himself to the head of the bed. He leaned himself against the head of the bed with one leg out straight and one knee bent. He propped his arm up on his knee and sighed. "I'm afraid we're going to be spied on. I didn't want to say much until I had you in here because the curtains muffle our voices."

Katara moved over to the other side of the bed, pulling her knees up to her chest. "Oh," she said, relaxing her shoulders a little. She hadn't been entirely sure what he was trying to pull by telling her to get in his bed. "Why would we be spied on?"

"Azula was trying to get me in trouble before, by telling my father that you and I had been having, uh," he blushed and didn't meet the waterbender's eyes. "An illicit affair, as she called it. But since that didn't work, she'll be looking for some other way to get me in hot water."

"Like how?" Katara asked, watching as the Fire Prince's face blushed a deeper shade of red. At that moment, she was sure she didn't want to know what he was about to say.

"I think she's going to try to prove that we aren't doing what they think we are," he choked out.

Katara could feel her own face growing hot. She looked down at her hands. "Why would that be so bad?"

Zuko waited a moment before answering. "Because that would make my father think I had lied to him."

Katara looked up, catching his eye. "But you didn't lie. You never said that we, uh, were. Well, you know."

Zuko shook his head. "Doesn't matter. I didn't deny it so I might as well have said it. That's how my father would take it."

Katara bit her lip a little before asking her next question. "What do we do then?"

She watched as Zuko shifted a little nervously. While it was kind of nice to see him so uncomfortable, she didn't really like where this conversation was headed. "Well, we need to fool them."

Katara rolled her eyes. "Well, okay Captain Obvious. _How_ do we fool them?"

Zuko took a deep breath. "Well, for starters we should both sleep in here with the curtains closed. That way if anyone tried to peek in on us, they wouldn't see one of us sleeping on the floor."

Katara blanched. Sleeping in the same room with him had been bad enough. Now he wanted her to sleep in his bed? While he slept in his bed? "What do you mean 'for starters'?"

Zuko shrugged. "Well, I'm sure there will be other things along the way, but right now I'm too tired to think about everything. So, for starters, for tonight, we need to sleep and we both need to do that here."

Katara watched as he slumped down more, moving until he was lying on his back with his head on his pillow and both arms behind his head. He seemed to favor that position. The waterbender blushed again lightly as she realized she'd been watching him move, watching the sculpted muscles of his chest as he got himself comfortable. She turned her face away when he caught her eyes watching him.

She had seen him shirtless before. She wasn't sure why it was making her blush now. _It's got to be the proximity,_ she told herself.

When she didn't move from her position at the end of the bed, he felt he had to ask. "Are you going to come up here and go to sleep, or sit there all night?"

Katara shrugged, and then fought a yawn. The yawn won and the girl grew frustrated. She so didn't want to be doing this.

She moved up beside him, making sure to keep her distance. She laid with her back facing him and pulled the covers up to her chin.

"You probably won't want those," Zuko said from behind her. "It gets pretty warm in here at night, and especially with the curtains drawn."

"I'll be fine," Katara grumbled.

* * *

When Katara woke up she was anything but fine. It had only been a few hours. Even though they had the lamps down low outside the curtains, she could still feel night in her veins. Somewhere out there the moon was still high in the sky. She could feel it, even with the Binding Bands.

She was hot. Really hot. At some point she had pushed the covers off of her but she was still really warm. It took her a few minutes of lying there, waking up, to figure out why.

Apparently Zuko had been used to sleeping in the middle of this bed, and he was doing so now. He had his back pressed against hers, and it was scalding her. She couldn't scoot any closer to the edge of the bed than she already was. If she moved, she'd wake him up.

For a little while, she didn't do anything and just tried to go back to sleep. But her mind was too awake and she couldn't help but worry about getting caught by Azula. Zuko's fears had quickly become her own. If Azula exposed them and something happened to Zuko, Katara's life would probably be forfeit as well. Finally, she decided just to wake him up.

"Zuko?" she said.

"Hmm?" he answered. He didn't move so she figured he was still asleep.

"Zuko, wake up." She nudged him a little with her elbow.

"Hmm? What is it?" he said, this time pulling away from her and giving the waterbender some space.

Katara rolled on her back and looked over at him. He was still faced away from her. She wasn't entirely sure he actually was awake. She'd camped out with Sokka and Aang enough times to know that a lot of guys could talk in their sleep, answer questions and have conversations, and never know it.

"Zuko, I'm worried about Azula catching us," she said.

The Fire Prince rolled over, yawning, until he was facing her. He propped his head up on his hand and blinked heavily. His hair fell across his eyes a little and he absently brushed it out of his way with his free hand.

_This is about as awake as I'm going to get him_, she thought. "What if they start asking us questions about each other?"

"Like what?" he asked. She was wrong. He was more awake by the moment.

Katara turned her head to look up at the ceiling. She couldn't see the ceiling for the curtains and she wasn't sure she liked how enclosed the bed was. No wonder she was so warm. There was no way they could get any kind of breeze with the curtains drawn. "What if they ask us stuff that only, uh, lovers would know? Like about scars and birthmarks and such?"

Zuko frowned. He hadn't thought about that. He shook himself a little and sat up. "I'll show you mine, and you show me yours. Then we'll be able to answer that."

"Show you my _what_?" Katara asked, her eyes popping open.

Zuko blushed. "Scars, Katara. Birthmarks. Get your mind out of the gutter, would you?"

Katara sat up too and watched as he turned his back to her. He pulled his hair away from the nape of his neck, pointing to something. She moved closer to see a tiny, thin scar right at his hairline. "What happened there?"

Zuko felt the hair rise on the back of his neck as her breath caressed his skin. "I fell down a flight of stone stairs when I was little. I was lucky not to break my skull open," he answered. "Here, touch it so you can remember what it feels like and where it is."

Katara hesitated, but finally reached her fingers over to brush the scar. It was only a little raised against the rest of his smooth skin. She was surprised at how warm he was without sweating. She figured it must just be a firebender thing.

Zuko shivered. Her hands were so cool to the touch. He felt her fingers brush against the edge of his hairline and couldn't help the goose-duck bumps that the feeling raised on his arms.

"Any others?" Katara asked, sitting back and crossing her legs. He turned back around and got up to his knees, starting to pull down the front of his pants.

Katara clamped her eyes shut and turned her head away. "What are you doing?" she squeaked a little.

Zuko sighed. "Look, it's just another scar okay? Would you look please so we can get this over with?"

Katara opened her eyes slowly to see that he had only pulled the lip of his pants down a few inches. There was another scar a few inches below his belly button. This one was longer and a little more ragged, perhaps a little more recent. Without his prompting, she reached forward and traced the scar with her fingers, memorizing the feeling and trying to ignore the heat that travelled not only to her cheeks, but to her belly as well. She didn't know what the fire in her belly was, and decided not to think about it too much.

"What happened here?" she asked, her voice much quieter. Zuko could feel himself shaking a little at the feel of her soft hands bushing the skin of his abdomen. He watched her eyes scrutinizing his flesh, trying to burn the image into her memory. His heart sped up at the sight of her so close to him, touching him in this way.

"Training accident when I was learning sword work. I was almost gutted," he responded, his voice thick.

Katara looked up at him, her fingers still lingering on his scarred belly. "I'm sorry," she said. The way his honey-colored eyes burned into hers made her heart speed up. She pulled her hand back slowly. He pulled the edge of his pants back up and sat back on his feet.

"What about you? Scars?" Zuko asked.

Katara shook her head. "No scars, but I have a birthmark," she answered. Suddenly her face was dark red, a sight that wasn't lost on Zuko.

"You don't want to show me, do you?" he asked. He crossed his arms across his chest. The touch of her fingers had left him a little chilled.

Katara gulped and shook her head. "Not really. But I have to though," she said. She turned away from him and scooted to the edge of the bed, dangling her legs over the side. She lifted the back of her shirt up and pulled the edge of her pants down much farther than she wanted to.

Zuko moved forward, watching as Katara pulled her pants down to reveal a cream-colored birthmark on the cheek of her left buttock. He couldn't help the way his breath caught in his throat at her exposing herself to him this way. He moved closer, letting his legs move to either side of hers, dangling off the bed. His left hand found her hip, his thumb tracing the edges of her birthmark.

Katara froze. Her heart was pounding so loudly in her ears that she was sure he could hear it too, especially how close he was to her now. His hand was too warm on her hip. His body was close enough behind her that she could feel his heat against her back. She could feel his thumb tracing her birthmark in little circles, gently. She'd always been so surprised at how gentle his touch could be.

They sat this way for a few minutes, each trying to get their bearings. Zuko wasn't sure he wanted to move away from her and Katara wasn't sure she wanted to push him away just yet.

A thought came to Zuko. "What if they ask us other questions?"

Katara shivered a little, feeling his breath move the hair at the back of her neck. "Like what?" she asked, softly.

Zuko took a deep breath. "What if they ask me what your lips feel like?"

Katara thought for a moment. She reached behind her and took his hand from her hip, bringing it around in front of her. The movement pulled his chest up flush to her back. She brought his hand up to her face and turned it over. She leaned her head forward a little, and pressed her lips to his palm.

Zuko could feel himself teetering on the edge of something. His hand was shaking, and he was sure she could feel it. Her lips on his hand had been cool and soft, a healing balm against his burning flesh.

She kissed him there a few more times before lowering their hands to her lap. The skin under her lips had been tough with callouses and so warm. She could feel the potential of the muscles beneath. With her eyes closed, she asked. "What if they ask me the same question, about you?"

Zuko paused for a moment. He withdrew his hand from hers and used it to move her tangled hair away from her left shoulder and neck. Before he could think about it too hard, and talk himself out of it, he pressed his lips to the side of her neck.

Katara gasped, but didn't move. He took that as a sign and placed another kiss, a little lower. He could feel her lean into him a little. He moved a little farther down her neck, to the place where her shoulder met her neck. He kissed her there, allowing his tongue to flicker out and taste her rapidly warming skin.

A tiny moan left Katara's lips. She was shaking, she could feel it. When Zuko brought his mouth up by her ear, she heard him ask, "And what will you tell them?"

Katara gulped. She could feel his lips still hovering by her ear, his warm breath against her cheek. "I'll tell them that your lips are soft, and very warm, and also, um, gentle."

Zuko brought his right arm around her middle and held her close. He buried his face in the crook of her shoulder and neck, breathing in the scent of her. Even after bathing with his soaps, dressing in his clothes, and sleeping in his bed, she still smelled like herself. She smelled of clean things, of crisp ocean air.

They were both trembling. With fear? With need? Katara wasn't sure which.

Katara was the first to break the silence. "Zuko," she said softly.

"Hmm?" he mumbled against the skin of her neck. He could feel her body shiver in response.

"I think we should probably go to sleep now."

Zuko reluctantly pulled away. She was right. He wasn't even sure what they were doing anyway. He silently berated himself for taking advantage of their situation this way. His body was still shaking and he was physically in bad shape, but he didn't want to her to know. He didn't want to scare her away.

A knot formed in Katara's throat as he moved back to his side of the bed. She had meant what she said, but she had also hoped he would argue with her. She didn't know why her body was betraying her this way, but she already missed the warmth of him against her back. The fire in her belly was agony, and somehow she knew he could fix that, if she let him.

She took a deep breath and swung her legs back onto the bed. When she looked over at him, he was turned away from her, laying on his other side. She sighed, and ignored the tears that prickled a little at her eyes. She put her head back on her pillow and tried to fall back asleep, this time acutely aware that his back wasn't pressing against hers.

* * *

A/N: What do you guys think? Please read and review. Up next will be a look at Zuko and Katara in the present.

Also, I now have set up a separate Facebook account for my writing! www . facebook . com/Lucawindmover (minus the spaces). This is a great way to keep informed about updates, brainstorming, ask questions and give feedback. For authors, it's a great way to bounce ideas and keep in touch. I hope you will all friend-request me. It's been a lot of fun using this account to keep up with writing!

Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender and I make no money from my stories. I just really enjoy tormenting the wonderful characters that have been provided for us. I also don't own the lyrics to "Closer to the Edge" by 30 Seconds to Mars, but it is a great song.


	13. Chapter 13

"Closer to the Edge"

By Lucawindmover

Chapter Thirteen

"One Day"

* * *

_Presently, in the libraray..._

Katara paused and looked at his door again before continuing to pace in the hallway. She had woken up twenty minutes ago to find that she couldn't sleep. She tried silently meditating, but that didn't work well for her. She tried feeling the moon, but she didn't have a window and while she could feel the moon without seeing it, having a visual usually helped calm her mind. Eventually she decided to get up. The children were all snoring softly and Katara hadn't woken them when she left the room.

She wasn't sure what she was doing. She was pacing the hallway in front of the door she knew was Zuko's. It was two doors down from where she had been sleeping with the children. There was one empty room, and then Sokka and Toph's, between where she slept and where Zuko slept. She counted the steps between the two before turning around and marching back the other way. Every time she had almost gotten up the nerves to knock and see if he were awake, she changed her mind and resumed pacing.

"What am I doing?" Katara asked herself, rubbing her eyes with the palms of her hands.

"I'd kind of like to know that myself."

Katara jumped as if she'd been stung and whipped her head around to see Zuko now lounging in his doorway. His hair was tousled from sleep and she was surprised to see that he had thrown on a linen shirt to go with his usual sleeping pants. Then she remembered that he did usually wear more clothes when they weren't in the Fire Nation.

"Oh, uh, hey Zuko," Katara said, fiddling with a long lock of chocolate colored hair. She was suddenly a little nervous, worried that her hair was tangled and her clothes were rumpled.

"Hey yourself," he replied with a smirk. "What are you doing pacing out here?" he asked. He gestured toward the hallway.

Katara frowned and crossed her arms. "I'm not pacing," she answered defensively.

Zuko raised his good eyebrow, his smirk widening to a knowing smile.

Katara rolled her eyes and threw her hands up. She knew when she'd been caught. "Okay, fine. So I was pacing."

"But _why_ were you pacing?"

"A woman has the right to pace when the mood strikes her, _Mr. Fire Lord_," Katara responded, re-crossing her arms. She found herself having to fight the grin that tugged at the corners of her mouth.

Zuko chuckled softly. "Well, I suppose so."

They stood this way for a moment, regarding one another. Zuko leaned casually against his doorframe, arms crossed while Katara tilted her head a little and shifted her weight from side to side.

"You want to come in?" Zuko asked, straightening.

Katara shrugged. "Well, would that be okay?"

Zuko nodded and pushed the door open more widely. He couldn't help how his heart raced when her right arm, clad in nothing more than a thin blue robe, brushed the fabric of his shirt as she passed into the room. He was sure that underneath the robe would only been her bindings. The thought brought a rush of heat to his face and he was glad she had her back to him.

Katara hadn't seen his room yet. She had been stubbornly avoiding this room and the Fire Lord it housed. She glanced around quickly, noting that Zuko's room had a window with a thin stream of moonlight shining in. There were two beds, one against each wall, and the one to the left looked like it had been recently slept in. She moved over to the untouched bed and seated herself on the edge of it.

Zuko shut the door gently behind them and moved to sit across from her, on the bed he'd been sleeping in not that long ago. He wasn't sure what had caused him to wake. But as he laid in his bed, listening to the music of the night, he'd heard the unmistakable sound of someone shuffling about in the hallway. He had gotten up and listened at the door. It hadn't taken long to deduce who would be pacing on the other side.

Katara was looking down at her hands. "It's been a long time," she said softly.

"Too long," Zuko replied. He watched as she stared at her hands. He recognized the gesture and fervently wished there was something he could do to wipe that worried look from her brow.

Katara took a deep breath and smiled. It was a forced smile but it was better than tears. She smiled brightly and looked up to meet his gaze. She faltered only a little as she asked, "So, how are you know, things?"

Zuko smirked a little. "Things? I guess _things_ are fine."

It was quiet for a few moments before they both tried to speak at the same time.

"Zuko, I—"

"Uh, Katara look—"

Katara's eyes met Zuko's and after a split second pause, they both laughed softly. It was a comfortable and familiar feeling, one they both missed quite a bit.

"You first," Zuko said, feeling better for the genuine smile on Katara's face.

The smile slipped from Katara's face as she framed her question. "Did Mai know I was going to be here when she let you come?"

Katara was very surprised, and a little confused, to see this question spark a familiar flame in his eyes. "She did, actually."

"And she let you come anyway?"

Zuko's smirk grew to a full grin. The glint in his eyes made Katara's belly squirm. He surprised her again by standing and crossing the room before dropping to his knees before her. His eyes were level with hers. She felt a tempting warmth envelop her skin just from his nearness. Her breath caught in her throat.

"In fact, she only gave me one condition," he said softly, leaning his hands on the bed on either side of her. He brought his mouth to hover over hers.

Katara could feel her eyes drift closed. "And what was that?" she all but whispered.

Zuko nuzzled her cheek and wrapped his arms around her, pulling himself between her knees and against her body. He felt her gasp as he touched his lips to the side of her neck, the first part of her he ever kissed. He felt her hands grasp the back of his shirt, pulling him closer to her.

Zuko brought his lips up beside her ear and whispered, "For us to _not_ conceive any more children while I'm here."

Katara's breath caught in her throat again, her mind racing around the possibilities. There were plenty of ways to _not_ conceive children. His body was so warm, his kisses like flames against her throat. Her body reacted toward him as it usually did and she wanted nothing more than to pull him onto the bed with her and shuck all the layers of clothing between them.

But she couldn't.

"Zuko," she said, her voice breathy. "Zuko, stop."

He did, and pulled himself back so he could see her face. "What is it, Katara?" His voice was husky, she could hear it.

She still couldn't open her eyes yet. She thought she was doing a pretty good job just for being able to talk. "Zuko, you're married now."

Zuko felt his shoulders slump. "Does that really matter? We're still us, aren't we? Mai knows, and she sent me anyway."

Katara shook her head a little, trying to get her brain back in order and cursing that he had this much control over her in the first place. She pulled her hands to his shoulders and pushed him away gently. She pulled her knees back together, now that he had vacated the space, and crossed her ankles for good measure. She didn't trust herself. "I don't know how I feel about Mai knowing. I remember Mai, and her temper, and her jealousy. That doesn't go away overnight, you know."

She finally opened her eyes to see the defeated Fire Lord sitting back on his heels before her, his hands in fists, resting on his thighs. In times like these, she was really glad he'd gotten better at controlling his temper.

He wasn't looking at her. He was looking at the floor. "She had to know. I couldn't go through with the wedding if she hadn't known. She had to know what she was agreeing to."

Katara frowned. This was the first she'd heard him speak about the arrangements of the marriage. "You love her, don't you?" she asked, fearing the answer. She'd never had the nerve to ask him this before. She knew she could deal with it, either way. But why deal with something if you don't have to?

Zuko laughed bitterly and looked up at her. "No. We used to play at love back when we were kids, when we didn't know the difference. But now?" he paused and shook his head. "No, love wasn't in the equation when we wed. Ours was a wedding of political maneuvering."

"But then do you…? I mean, the two of you, well…" Katara started the sentence before she realized that she really didn't want to finish it.

After all their time together, and apart, she could still make him blush. "No."

Katara hadn't wanted to know really. She hadn't wanted to think about Zuko touching anyone but her. Though now that she had an answer, it just made her more curious. "Wait, really? Why not?"

Zuko crossed his arms. "Neither of us wanted, we just didn't. We just…" he paused for a minute. "We fall asleep in the same bed every night, and wake in the same bed every morning. But that's all. We've never touched beyond what was required as a public display at the wedding."

Katara stared at him, dumbfounded. She remembered that chaste kiss between the Fire Nation Royalty two years ago. It was a far cry from what she knew Zuko to be capable of. Two years? He and Mai had been married two years and they hadn't consummated that marriage.

"But why?" she couldn't help but ask, leaning forward a little. "What are you waiting for?"

She didn't even have a moment to react before he propelled himself forward and pressed his lips to hers. There was nothing gentle in their kiss. She could feel his raw need, both physical and emotional, as their kiss delved deeper. His hands gripped both sides of her face, fingers sliding through her hair, rubbing her neck. Katara couldn't help but return everything and more, wrapping her hands in the fabric of his shirt and pulling him close again.

Zuko broke the kiss for only a moment, to whisper in her ear.

"You, Katara. I was waiting for you."

* * *

Izumi yawned and stretched, knowing it was just before sunrise. Being a firebender, it seemed she was always waking up around dawn. Usually, she laid in bed and said a short prayer to Agni before rolling back over and falling back asleep. The rest of her family were not early wakers, or morning people at all for that matter. It didn't stop the sun from waking the firebender though, even if she could usually fall back asleep.

Izumi was laying on her side, facing the direction of her little brothers. Sota and Koda had been very excited about sleeping in their own beds when they'd first arrived at the library. At home, they usually shared a pile of animal furs and slept curled around each other. Last night it seemed they were getting a little homesick so their mother had piled the boys' pillows and blankets in the corner on the floor and let the two of them sleep there. Izumi smiled, noting that the boys were still there, tangled in blankets on the floor. She sometimes envied how deeply they could sleep. Their mother said the two took after their uncle in that department.

Thinking of her mother, Izumi rolled over to her other side to see if the woman was still asleep. Much to the girl's surprise, the other bed was empty.

That was really strange. Izumi never knew her mother to be up before dawn unless they had to travel for some reason or another. Katara never got up to make breakfast until the sun was well into the sky. Izumi furrowed her brow in confusion and then decided she would get up and go look for her.

She went about shucking her night clothes and wrapping herself in her Water Tribe leggings and robe. She didn't bother with shoes. She pulled her long, black hair into a braid and tossed it over her shoulder. Izumi tip-toed out of the room, shutting the door quietly behind her. She knew the twins could sleep through about anything, but she tried to be quiet anyway.

She yawned again and started to wonder if anyone else was awake this early. Izumi moved down the hall, light on her feet, until she came to her uncle's room. She was too curious for her own good sometimes, and decided to peek in just in case.

She pushed the door open a crack and couldn't help but grin at what she saw.

Izumi knew that her Auntie Toph preferred to sleep on the stone floor, when she could, so Uncle Sokka and taken all their blankets and pillows and made a pallet on the floor. The man in question was asleep on his back with his arms and legs spread wide, his mouth wide open and snoring to beat the band. Izumi had no idea how her aunt and cousin could sleep through that.

Little Taryn was lying on her father's chest, fast asleep with a thumb in her mouth. She looked as comfortable as if she were sleeping on a cloud instead of a snoring lump.

Izumi then looked at her blind aunt, curled around a stone pillow she'd earthbended out of the floor. The girl was always impressed by how strong her aunt was. The fact that she could see so well without eyes always amazed Izumi. Her aunt's hearing was impeccable as well, which was demonstrated when Toph raised a finger to her lips, knowing Izumi would see.

Izumi grinned sheepishly and moved backward, shutting the door. She wasn't terribly surprised that Auntie Toph had caught her.

The girl sighed and looked down the hall toward the door that she knew was her father's. She debated for a moment, wondering if she could get away with spying on him. Her heart ached a lot these days, missing the way she used to be able to curl up with him in bed at dawn and talk about firebending and the sun. She let herself be pulled toward the room and eased the door open.

She hadn't been prepared for what she would see.

Her mother and father were curled in each other's arms. Her mother was lying on her left side, facing the room with Zuko's arms around her, holding her close. They were both still sleeping, she could tell. They were both naked, she could also tell. Besides that their clothes were thrown haphazardly on the floor, she could also tell by the skin showing around their shoulders.

Izumi quickly pulled the door shut, her face flaming in embarrassment.

She knew what they had been doing. She wasn't so young as to have no idea. They had travelled enough, been in enough cantinas and inns, to have some idea of what men and women did together with no clothes on. She knew that babies were made this way and she was instantly furious. What were they doing? He was married! They couldn't go around making more babies, more children who wouldn't know their father. What was her father thinking? How could he do this to them all over again?

Izumi stormed off down the hall with no idea where she was going. She didn't care. She just wanted to be alone.

* * *

A/N: This story had taken over my life recently. The next chapter shouldn't take as long to write as I had one of the scenes pre-written when it wouldn't leave me alone, lol. I hope everyone has enjoyed the story so far. Next up is another blast to the past.

Also, I now have set up a separate Facebook account for my writing! www . facebook . com/Lucawindmover (minus the spaces). This is a great way to keep informed about updates, brainstorming, ask questions and give feedback. For authors, it's a great way to bounce ideas and keep in touch. I hope you will all friend-request me. It's been a lot of fun using this account to keep up with writing!

Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender and I make no money from my stories. I just really enjoy tormenting the wonderful characters that have been provided for us. I also don't own the lyrics to "Closer to the Edge" by 30 Seconds to Mars, but it is a great song.


	14. Chapter 14

"Closer to the Edge"

By Lucawindmover

Chapter Fourteen

"Maybe We'll Meet Again"

* * *

_Fifteen years previously, in the Fire Nation Capital…_

"What am I supposed to do while you're gone, _oh mighty Fire Prince_?" Katara asked as she watched Zuko tie his final piece of armor in place.

"I don't know," Zuko responded, waving his arm in a vague gesture. "But you have to stay here."

Katara's eyes followed him as he went to his desk. "But why? There's nothing for me to do here. I'm a slave with nothing to clean, or cook, or _do_." She realized that she was starting to sound a bit like a kid who didn't get their way, but she couldn't seem to stop herself. She was bored and tired of being cooped up in his bedchamber. Every time Zuko left he told her she had to stay here and stay quiet. She might as well have been thrown in a prison cell.

Zuko grunted but didn't turn around. "I told you. You are not a slave to me. And as long as you are in this room, that remains true."

Katara frowned and crossed her arms. For a week now she had seen nothing but the inside of this room and its adjoining bath. She had been so accustomed to travelling, to being in markets and forests, ships even. This eternal stillness was going to drive her mad. "Where are you even going this time?"

Zuko had hardly been in the room he shared with Katara, for several reasons. The first being that since he was home and reinstated as Fire Prince, he had responsibilities. He had meetings to attend, paperwork to sift through, royal meals to sit through. The second reason was because, like Katara, he had become accustomed to travelling, to hardly getting to sleep in the same place twice. Being back home was turning out to be more of a curse than a blessing.

The third reason was the one he least wanted to admit. It unnerved him greatly to spend so much time with Katara. Most of their time was spent arguing, but there were a few moments where they seemed to come to an understanding, like that night a week or so ago. The night they had shown one another their scars. For whatever reason, he couldn't banish the feel of her cool lips on his hand, the taste of her warm skin under his mouth. Sometimes, he wasn't even sure that it had happened, and figured they had both been on the edge of sleep or something. Every night since they went to sleep on their opposite sides of the bed and every night he wished it weren't so. Every morning they woke and argued and pushed each other's buttons like no one else could, and he wondered if that one night of tenderness had made all the arguing worse.

"I'm just going to the market," he answered, reluctantly.

"All the more reason you should let me come!" she argued stubbornly.

Zuko thought about it for a moment. Surely some of the things he was buying would be easier to come by if he had her there to give him a hand. He shook his head. She wouldn't be able to walk beside him. She would have to bow and scrape and generally be submissive. If there was anything Katara wasn't, it was submissive. There was no way she would be willing to play that part, least of all if _he_ was the one asking her to do it.

"You don't know what you're asking," he said. He stood up straight, rolling up a scroll and turning to face her. "In here you're safe. You can mostly behave how you please. But it's not the same out there."

"What are you talking about?" she asked, her brow furrowing a little.

Zuko threw his hands up in frustration. "Why don't you get this? Out there the people think that you're a waterbender trophy, a slave, a…" he paused, flustered. "A bedroom fixture. They're going to treat you like that."

"What does that matter to you?" Katara said, narrowing her eyes.

Zuko rolled his eyes. They'd had this discussion more times than he wanted to admit. "In here you can say what you please. You can sass me, yell at me, hell. You can even hit me," he said. He gestured to the window. "But in front of the public, you have to behave. You have to pretend to be what we've been pretending you are."

"A waterbending whore?"

Zuko turned and threw the scroll across the room with quite a bit of force. "What do you want from me Katara?"

"Apparently a lot of things you can't, or _won't_, give me," she replied, heatedly. "I want my freedom. I want my bending. I want my…" she choked. "My family. But you wouldn't understand, would you? You _got_ to come back home. You _got_ to have your family and your precious _honor_. What do you care about your pitiful waterbending bed warmer?"

Zuko laughed, a humorless sound. "Oh right. I'm home alright. I've returned to find my sister is a lunatic and my father is hell-bent on ruling the world. That's _just_ what I always wanted. My big old happy family, right?"

Katara crossed her arms, her face betraying her confusion at his outburst. He wasn't happy?

"Look," Zuko said, his eyes narrowed. "You aren't a great actress, okay? If I take you out there and my father finds any reason to think we aren't exactly how we say we are, we might as well hand over our lives. He doesn't suffer liars to live."

Katara's lips pursed in a tight line. "Why don't you just do it then?"

Zuko's eyebrow shot up. "Do what?"

Katara gestured her hands toward her body. "Why don't you just do what you've been bragging about to all your Fire Nation buddies? Then no one would _have_ to act. It isn't like I haven't had to grit my teeth and bear it before."

Realization dawned on Zuko, shortly followed by fury. Almost blinded by rage, be began tearing his armor off and flinging it at the screen in the corner. Each piece thunked loudly against the wall before falling uselessly to the floor, each punctuated with a different epithet that Katara was astonished and embarrassed to hear. She had no idea what he was doing.

Katara flinched with each piece, moving farther away from the rapidly destabilizing Fire Prince, until she had almost backed against the wall. She hadn't meant what she said. She'd only said it out of spite and anger. She hadn't realized it would have this kind of effect on him.

Zuko stormed across the room toward her, dressed now in just his tunic and pants. It was what he would normally wear around the palace, and she had seen him in much less, but to Katara it now seemed ridiculously scarce.

He grabbed her roughly by the shoulders and pressed her up against the wall, knocking the air from her lungs. She was too shocked to even fight him. "What…?"

"Is this what you're asking for?" Zuko shouted at her. His face was hovering directly over hers. "Do you want me to be brutal? Do you want me to be a savage? Do you want me to be like _him_?"

It didn't even need to be explained, who the _him_ in this situation was. Two large tears fell down Katara's cheeks before she had even noticed her eyes had welled up with them.

"Well, do you?" Zuko shouted again, shaking her shoulders a little. She shook her head.

He let go of her and stalked to the other side of the room to give himself a little distance. "I can't believe you would even—urg!" How could she have said that? How could she have, even in taunting and frustration, implied that he would treat her in such a fashion? Did she really see him as such a monster? He kicked his wardrobe, pleased to see when a large crack appeared up the front. He was sorely tempted to punch his mirror as well, but at the last moment decided he didn't want bloody knuckles.

Zuko paced back and forth from the bed to his mirror, his hands alternating from being fists at his side to curling in the dark tendrils of his hair. After a moment he stopped and turned back to her.

Katara had sunk to her knees, her arms wrapped around her middle. She had never seen him so angry. She had never seen him so close to losing it. He had frightened her terribly and now she was afraid to take his eyes off of him, in case he was to attack her when she wasn't looking.

"I am not a monster," he said, clenching his fists and gritting his teeth. "I am not my father!" he shouted.

When Katara said nothing and just stared at him with wild eyes, he continued. "See, this is what I was afraid of. Now you're terrified. This, THIS is exactly what the people out there are going to expect to see. Do you understand now?"

Katara nodded mutely and watched as fire momentarily formed around his fists. Zuko took a deep breath, extinguished the flames. He moved over to his desk again, turning his back on her.

"I'm sorry," she said softly. He still managed to hear her.

"No,_ I'm_ the one who should be sorry," he said. He turned his good eye over his shoulder and looked at her. "I had the chance to put things right. I had the chance to side with you, and not Azula, and I failed," he said, and hung his head in defeat. "I was a coward."

Katara struggled to her feet, but she didn't move any closer to him. "You were not a coward, Zuko," she said.

He whirled around to face her. His hands held on to the chair to his desk so hard that Katara thought it would break from the force. Or burst into flames. "How can you say that? After all that's happened?"

Katara clenched her jaw. "I didn't say you did the right thing, because you didn't. I said you weren't a coward, which is true. A coward doesn't fight the way you did back there. A coward doesn't fight for what he wants, like you always have. But you know, if you're so worried about doing the right thing now, you still can. There is still hope."

It was Zuko's turn to be confused. "What are you talking about? The Avatar is dead. I saw it with my own eyes."

Katara felt his words almost like a physical blow. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Yes, he is. But if you wanted to bring peace to the world, there is still hope. There is still something you can do."

"How? How is there hope?" Zuko asked, throwing his hands wide. What could she possibly be talking about now? "What can I do?"

"_You_ could kill your father."

* * *

He couldn't believe she'd said such a thing. Kill his father? Zuko shook his head again, still not following her logic. How could Zuko kill the Fire Lord? He couldn't even fight the man, let alone kill him. Hadn't their failed Agni Kai proved that? There was no more hope down that line of thinking than there was down any other.

Well, and no _less_ hope either, one part of his brain argued.

Zuko shook his head again and leaned against the wall he was standing next to.

He was in the market square in the lower part of town. He'd managed to escape his palanquin and dart off on his own before the bearers could even react. He was now catching his breath in an alley before heading off to make the purchases he needed.

It wasn't that he was trying to hide the fact that he was the Fire Prince. But he'd become accustomed to being able to move around a marketplace without having everyone bowing and scraping. He had found, during his years of exile, that he didn't much like all the pomp and circumstance he'd grown up with. He certainly didn't much like riding around in a palanquin anymore.

Besides, he had a mission.

His father had decreed that all Earthbending and Waterbending slaves not be given Fire Nation clothing to wear. Currently, Katara had nothing else to wear, and that was one of the reasons he couldn't let her come out in public. Part of this decree was to humble the slaves, to show them that they did not belong to this land and that this land would not be their home. Another part was to make them stand out. A man with a Waterbender slave would be given more respect and a higher regard, just because his slave was a Waterbender.

So Katara needed clothes.

His hand tightened around the scroll inside his robes. He had spent days trying to sketch the pattern of her previous Water Tribe attire. He hadn't asked for her help because he didn't want her to know what he was up to. He didn't know how many lengths of paper he went through before he managed to draw up a decent representation. He wasn't even sure how close he'd gotten it, but he figured it was as good as he was going to get.

After he caught his breath, he moved out, looking for a tailor. He passed stalls selling all sorts of things: spices, lengths of cloth, fruit and vegetables, salt. He couldn't help but pause at a stall selling jewelry. A flash of blue had caught his eye.

"Hello fine sir," the old woman minding the stall said in greeting. Zuko knew he was still dressed in his Fire Nation Royalty regalia so he was surprised that she had greeted him so informally. Upon closer inspection, he realized that the woman was nearly blind with age. "Are you looking for something for a special lady?"

Zuko blushed. "Uh, no. I just saw this and it caught my attention. What is this?" he asked, holding up a flat, round stone. There were several on the table, ranging from pale white to stark blue. They were all impossibly smooth and flat and fit in the palm of his hand.

The woman took the item from his hand and felt it for a moment before replying. "Oh, now this is a special wonder, all the way from the South Pole. They are coralstone, very rare. They come from the stomachs of the sealeopards. The Water Tribes use them in jewelry, very exotic."

Zuko pursed his lips, remembering the necklace of Katara's that he'd stolen from her ages ago, back when he had been searching for the Avatar. That necklace had sported a stone similar to this one. He wasn't sure what possessed him to do it, but he grabbed the bluest one of them and paid the woman for it. He slipped the stone in his pocket, resolved to find out how those Water Tribe people would carve all those tiny designs into them. He would ask Katara about it.

Finally he made it to the tailor, handing the man the design.

The tailor gave him an odd look. "These look like Water Tribe robes, Your Highness."

"They are," Zuko replied. He was looking through a collection of the man's fabrics, trying to find the right color.

"I don't mean to pry, but are they also woman's robes?" the man asked.

Zuko glared at him, causing the man to take several steps back. "Yes, they are. I have a Waterbender, er, slave. And she needs these items so that I can make her presentable. I need two of those made, and some, uh, under things."

He looked back at the fabric and became exasperated. He threw his arms up and whirled on the man. "Don't you have any blue?"

The tailor shook his head. "No Your Highness. Blue dye is hard to come by, and very expensive."

"It can't be that expensive is the water peasants can all wear it," Zuko grumbled. "Look," he said to the man. He pulled out a bolt of black fabric and held it out. "Make one set in this, and order the blue dye. I'll take care of the costs. When the blue comes in, make two more sets with it and contact me when they're finished."

The man nodded. "Sir, it would be easier if I had her here to measure."

"Well, that's not possible. I've given you approximations, that'll have to do. Have them finished in an hour."

With that, Zuko unloaded the necessary coin and stormed out of the man's shop.

* * *

By the time Zuko returned, Katara had cooled off. She had done what she could to clean up his room a little: making the bed, organizing the writing brushes and charcoal sticks on his desk, gathering up the crumpled papers and throwing them in the wastebasket. She felt better for having done something before retiring to the widow seat to watch the clouds roll by.

When he came in with a paper-wrapped parcel, she grinned. She couldn't help it. "What did you get at the market?" she asked, hopping up from her seat.

He tossed it to her and she caught it clumsily. "Open it and see."

Katara's eyebrows rose in surprise. "Is it for me?"

Zuko rolled his eyes and moved over behind the screen to change his clothes. He hated wearing so many layers in an already warm place. But the Royal Family was expected to. "Why else would I have you open it?"

Katara grinned and sat down on the edge of the bed. She pulled loose the twine holding the paper folded and gasped at what she saw.

They were robes of stunning quality, made of a fabric Katara was not familiar with. They were mostly black, with a light gray border. She stood and held the dress out in front of her, realizing that it was tailored similarly to her Water Tribe dress. Also in the package were a pair of black leggings and a few sets of light gray under wrappings. She blushed at this, thinking of Zuko buying her underwear. Wait, why was he buying her anything?

"Zuko, why did you buy me these things?" she asked softly, still running her fingers over the light, smooth fabric.

Zuko stepped out from behind the screen, sporting a light tunic and pants, his favorite thing to wear in the heat of his homeland. He shrugged at her. "You didn't have any of your own clothes. Father made a decree saying that all, uh, slaves, had to wear clothing from their homeland," he paused and then gestured at the dress she was holding. "But the tailor didn't have any blue, so this will have to do until the dye comes in."

Katara looked back down to the clothes, still in shock. She shook her head and said, "Zuko, I don't think I can accept this. These had to be very expensive. What kind of fabric is this?"

"I don't know actually. It's angorosomething. Made from camel-goat fur, I think. And you have to accept it, the law says so," he paused and grinned. "Or go naked. Your choice."

Katara laid the dress down on the edge of the bed. "And if I choose to go naked?"

Zuko sputtered and turned bright red, but Katara just laughed. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Don't bust a blood vessel, Mr. Fire Prince."

Zuko narrowed his eyes at her and stalked over to his desk. "Hey, what did you do?"

Katara came up behind him and peeked over his shoulder. She had to stand on her tip-toes to do it. "What? I organized your desk."

"Organized?" he said, turning around so fast that Katara had to grab his elbows to keep from falling over. She righted herself and took a step back. "I had it organized the way it was!" he shouted, throwing his hands up. "Now how am I going to find anything?"

Katara crossed her eyes and fake-pouted at him. "Oh poor baby. Now you have to reorganize your desk. Good grief, this is the thanks I get for trying to do something nice?"

"Bah!" Zuko replied. He turned back to his desk and pulled out his chair. "Whatever. You know what, go take a bath or something. Try on your clothes. I need some time to myself here."

Katara pinched her eyebrows together in frustration. When he didn't turn back around or offer any other arguments, she sighed and went back to the bed. She collected her things and went off to the bathroom to wash and change.

Katara had to give the Fire Nation one thing: heated indoor plumbing. She had never had such wonderful, heated baths in all her life. Back in the South Pole, bathing was done very infrequently. With the threat of hypothermia at every corner, bathing was not a high priority. But once she had been able to have heated baths, she lived for bathing.

In the middle of her bath, she'd had a thought though, and rushed the washing. She got out and dried herself, begrudgingly, with a towel. As she wrapped herself in her new undergarments, she realized just how much she'd missed having them. She really would have to thank Zuko for those, if nothing else, a thought which made the heat rise to her face.

Ever since the night he had shown her his scars, she'd been more afraid of him. Not afraid that he would hurt her, or send her away to the Fire Lord, or anything terrible like that. She was afraid of his hands. She was afraid of his warm breath on her cheek. She was afraid of his lips on her neck. She was afraid of not hating him. She didn't know how to not hate Zuko, and it wasn't something she was ready to start learning any time soon.

Though, she had to admit to herself, she hated him a lot less now that she had underclothes.

She pulled on the leggings, which were a little long but she could roll them up. It just felt good to have leggings again, instead of Zuko's old training pants. She pulled the dress over her head and adjusted it. It was a little looser than her old one had been, but far more comfortable than the linen shirt she had worn before. The fabric of the dress was so soft and yet strong. She wasn't afraid she would rip it or strain it, which was a good thing for a bender.

Not that bending factored into her life much these days.

Looking in the mirror, she was reminded of her question. She dried her hair as quickly as she could and strode out of the bathroom to confront Zuko.

Zuko had been doodling little designs on a scrap of paper, using his charcoal stick. He almost remembered what Katara's necklace had looked like. There were swirls, which he figured were waves, but that was all he could remember. So he drew little waves and had them wrap around a little sun. He didn't like that and scribbled it out. He had just started another doodle when he heard the bathroom door open. He glanced over his shoulder to see Katara coming out in her new clothes. He turned his attention back to his paper for only a second before realized what he had seen and turned around quickly in his chair.

He hadn't seen something so beautiful before. She was stunning in black, he thought, marveling at the way his design flattered her so. The slits up the side of her dress were probably higher than her original dress had been, but then it didn't matter much since she had her leggings on. He could feel his face getting warm and he looked away, trying to be nonchalant as he asked, "So, do you like them?"

Katara smiled and twirled around twice. Zuko's breath stopped in his throat. "They're really beautiful, Zuko. I hate to say thank you but," she paused, blushing lightly. "Um, thank you."

Zuko tried not to smile, but couldn't help it. "Well, you're welcome."

She was holding his old clothes, the ones that she had been wearing since her attack. "Um, would it be okay if I kept these?" she asked. She wasn't sure why this embarrassed her. "You know, for sleeping?"

Zuko shrugged. "I suppose so. There was nothing in the decree about sleeping clothes."

Katara bobbed her head. She started toward the bed and then had a thought. "Um, is there somewhere I can store them?" she asked, turning back toward him.

Zuko stood and went to the foot of the bed, opening a trunk there. It only held a couple of pairs of extra boots anyway, so he figured it wouldn't matter if she took the space. He removed the boots and gestured for her to put her things there. He tossed the boots back behind his screen. When he turned around he found her kneeling in front of the closed trunk. Her thoughts looked awfully far off.

"Um, Katara, is something wrong?"

She didn't get up, didn't look at him. "When the Binding Bands were put on me, do you know what they did with my necklace?"

Zuko's shoulders slumped. "No, I have no idea what they did with it."

He watched as Katara slowly curled in on herself and began to sob. He couldn't help it, that's what he told himself as he squatted on the floor next to her and touched her shoulder. When she didn't flinch away he took it as a sign and pulled her into a sideways hug. She turned and buried her face in his shoulder and cried. Zuko wrapped his arms around her and let her get it out. His thighs greatly protested this, however, and after a few minutes he inelegantly fell backwards on his back, startling her out of her misery.

He sat there stunned for a minute and Katara started to laugh through her tears. She sat back on her heals and watched as the Fire Prince sat up and started to massage his aching legs.

"Sorry about that," she said, wiping the tears from her face.

Zuko just shrugged, trying to brush it off. "I didn't realize that necklace meant so much to you."

Katara's face fell and her hand went up to her neck automatically. She cringed when her fingers only met the metal of the band there. She sighed. "It was my mother's. It was the last thing I had of hers."

Zuko's frown deepened. "Well, then I am more than sorry for your loss."

Katara nodded, looking very much like she might cry again. Zuko had hoped to wait until he'd thought of something to carve on it, but decided to cheer her up he would show her the stone that he'd found. "I got something else at the market today," he said reaching into his pocket.

Katara watched in curiosity as he pulled the stone out of his pocket and dropped it into her waiting hands.

Her eyes went wide in shock when she recognized what it was. "Zuko, where did you find this?"

He rolled his eyes. "I think I already told you I found it at the market."

Katara rolled hers in return. "Alright then, why did you buy it?"

"It caught my eye," he said shrugging. _It made me think of you_, he added mentally.

She grinned and rubbed her thumb across the surface. "You know, in the Southern Water Tribe, men find these and carve them specially to give as an engagement present. They give them to girls when they propose."

Zuko's stomach dropped out and he felt his face flush. "Oh, uh. Well, I wasn't proposing you know."

Katara frowned at him and handed the stone back. "Well I know that, dummy. And it wouldn't matter if you would because I would say no."

He shoved the stone back into his pocket and frowned. "What? Why would you say no?"

She looked at him like he'd clearly lost his mind. She gestured between the two of them. "What part of 'mortal enemies' did you forget?"

"Well that's fine then, because I wouldn't have asked you anyway," he said lamely, standing up and stalking to the door.

"Fine! Where are you going?" she shouted after him, struggling to her feet.

He growled and didn't turn around. "I'm going to train or something. You are driving me mad!"

And with that Katara was left alone to mourn her loss in private.

* * *

A/N: By all things holy this chapter got away from me. I'm sure you all approve of having more to read, but I have to tell you my hands are tired, lol. I hope everyone likes the chapter. If you have any questions or concerns, please pm me. Or leave a review! I get stupidly happy when I get new reviews. Thanks so much for reading.

Also, I now have set up a separate Facebook account for my writing! www . facebook . com/Lucawindmover (minus the spaces). This is a great way to keep informed about updates, brainstorming, ask questions and give feedback. For authors, it's a great way to bounce ideas and keep in touch. I hope you will all friend-request me. It's been a lot of fun using this account to keep up with writing!

Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender and I make no money from my stories. I just really enjoy tormenting the wonderful characters that have been provided for us. I also don't own the lyrics to "Closer to the Edge" by 30 Seconds to Mars, but it is a great song.


	15. Chapter 15

"Closer to the Edge"

By Lucawindmover

Chapter Fifteen

"Can You Imagine?"

* * *

_Presently, in the library…_

"Tada!"

Sota and Koda looked up at their uncle with confused expressions. Taryn, who was sitting on her father's shoulders, tried to lean around his head to look at his face, pulling his hair a little in the process.

Upon seeing their nonplussed faces, he stomped his foot. "What?" Sokka asked, throwing his hands in the air and gesturing to the image in front of them. "We're here!"

"Um, Uncle Sokka," Sota started. "This is a big wall. With a circle on it."

Toph chuckled as Sokka's jaw dropped. "No, no, this is NOT just a big wall with a circle on it. This is the moon-sun-stars-that-move-thing room," He paused and ran a hand over his chin. "But I kind of forgot what it's called."

"A planetarium?" Toph offered with an eyebrow raised.

"Yes! Yes, that's exactly what it is!" Sokka replied, clearly excited. "How'd you know what it was, Toph? You can't see it."

"I don't have to see it to know what it's called, ding-dong. I remember you guys talking about it last time. Katara always called it a planetarium," Toph shrugged and crossed her arms. She figured this was another one of those things, like books, that she wasn't going to get a whole lot out of. Her earthbending vision could only do so much.

Both boys giggled at their aunt for her choice of words.

Koda was still skeptical concerning their adventure. "Well okay, Uncle Sokka. But what does it do? It's a big shiny circle."

"That's not a circle!" Sokka exclaimed. Then his face fell. "Well, okay, it IS a circle, but it's also a door. Now we just need to get one of those weird little fox guys to come open it for us."

Sokka put his daughter down on the floor, who promptly went to hold hands with Toph. The twins helped him, calling out for one of the knowledge seekers to come assist them. They were so busy calling for help that they didn't notice when one of the foxes poked its head out of a small tunnel next to the golden door.

"Uh, Sokka," Toph interrupted, having felt the movement in the tunnel by the door. "I think someone is waiting for you to stop yelling."

Sokka whirled around to see the fox poking its head out of the tunnel. "Oh, hi there little weird fox guy! Could you let us into the planetarium?"

The fox nodded and went back into the tunnel. After another moment, the door began to roll open.

The children gasped in surprise. Taryn hid her face in Toph's shirt, afraid of what might be behind the door. Toph patted the top of her little head, trying to reassure the girl that her father wouldn't knowingly put her in danger.

What he would do unknowingly…well, that was anyone's guess.

The door finished rolling with a thud and the fox waited just inside the door, as if beckoning them inside. Sokka went first, practically vibrating with excitement. Toph could feel it in her feet. She pulled Taryn along as well. They boys had already left them behind.

"Wow! This is awesome!" Koda shouted, marveling at how his voice echoed in the large, dome-shaped room. He ran toward the middle of the room and looked straight up. Sota followed suit.

Taryn hung back with Toph, a little unsure of what they were looking at. Toph could feel that the room was surrounded by mechanisms, but had no real idea what they did. Sokka had explained it once, but just like when he tried to explain colors to her, it didn't make a lot of sense.

"Okay guys, watch this!" Sokka shouted, going to a large, stone dial in the middle of the room. He turned a few of the stone circles and then reached over and pushed on a large, metal lever next to the dial.

The boys were shocked into silence for once, which Toph found entertaining even if she couldn't see or feel the show.

Thousands of stars whirled overhead. It was as if the entire night's sky hung over their heads, turning in the same fashion as it would naturally. Sota and Koda, and even Taryn, were amazed at the number of stars swirling out of reach. Just as they thought it couldn't get any better, the moon set and the sun rose, showing their places in the heavens as well. When the whole thing slowed to a stop, all three children promptly started shouting to do it again.

Toph just laughed and let Taryn go, who ran toward the center with her cousins. Toph moved back out of the way and took a seat on the floor. She couldn't lean against the wall, because of all the gears and movement, so she bent a little short wall out of the floor and leaned against that instead.

She listened as Sokka explained how the dials worked and when to push the lever. He let Sota have a turn moving the dials. Koda got to push the lever. Taryn didn't mind not having a turn, as she was just excited to see everything moving. Sokka made sure they had everything figured out before he left them to it. He moved over to his wife, sitting beside her and throwing his left arm over her shoulders.

"This was a good idea," Toph admitted, waving a hand toward the playing children. "I think they were really starting to get bored around here."

"Well, I _do_ have good ideas every once in a while," Sokka replied with a smirk.

Toph punched him lightly on the knee before grinning and leaning against him. They stayed this way for a little while, Sokka watching the kids with his eyes and Toph feeling them with her earthbending.

After a bit, Sokka sighed. Toph could feel his shoulders sag a little and knew something was bothering him.

"What is it, Meathead?"

Sokka laughed lightly at his favorite nickname, but it didn't lighten his mood for long. "Are you sure you aren't disappointed?"

"In what? Not seeing the show?" she asked, gesturing toward the ceiling of the dome-shaped room. "You seen nothing once, you seen it a thousand times."

"No, no, not that," he said, pausing. "I mean disappointed that we can't you know, have our own kids?"

Toph thought about this for a moment before answering. "Taryn is ours."

Sokka shook his head. "That's not what I mean and you know it."

Toph sighed. "Look, I remember what Sugar Queen was like when she was pregnant. She turned into the Scary Queen, if you'll recall."

He waited for her to continue.

"I'm happy the way we are Sokka. I never really thought I wanted kids. But then we found Taryn and she made us happy," she said. She turned her face a little closer to his. "Stop trying to belittle yourself, okay? So what if we can't pop out kids like rabbaroos? It doesn't mean we can't be good parents to the kids who don't have any."

Sokka couldn't help the grin that made its way across his face. "Did you just say 'kids'? As in more than one?"

Toph shrugged and blushed. "Well, Taryn should get to be a big sister sometime, don't you think?"

Sokka pulled his wife into a rib-cracking hug. Toph couldn't help but laugh at his enthusiasm, before she punched him in the gut that is.

* * *

"So, Katara, I was wondering if you would be willing to tell me more about what slave life was like under the rule of Fire Lord Ozai," Professor Zei said as Katara took a seat in front of him.

She hadn't really talked to the professor much since she related the happenings surrounding Aang's death. The man had been busy talking to Sokka, Toph, and Zuko.

Zuko.

Katara sighed and blushed a little at the thought of the firebender. She had woken up in his arms, her most favorite place in the world to be, only to realize that if her children found them like that there would be lots of explaining to do. Katara had jumped up and thrown her clothes on quickly, muttering an apology to Zuko before quickly leaving his room. She didn't even give him time to protest.

In her own room, the boys were still happily curled together in the corner, snoring away. Izumi's bed was empty, however.

It was shortly after dawn. Katara knew that her daughter would sometimes wake up that early and go back to sleep. It was unusual for the girl to be up and moving around this early though. Katara had checked in Sokka's room, then the kitchen, and finally came to see Professor Zei to see if he had maybe seen the wayward daughter.

The professor had confessed that no one else had been by yet this morning, and then asked Katara if she could stay and talk for a little while. Katara figured that Izumi was just off somewhere exploring and tried not to think about it too much. She shrugged and settled before the professor to await his questions.

"Hmm, slave life?" Katara asked, pursing her lips.

The professor nodded, smoothing out the parchment that was awaiting her answers.

"Well, when I first heard that I was going to be a slave, I thought of the more traditional sense. You know, hard labor for no pay, being locked up in a cell at night, given very little food. Maybe even beaten. But, at least for me, it wasn't like that," she said. She crossed her arms, her scarred hands gripping the fabric of her dress under her arms. "The bending slaves were more like trophies, status symbols. And some of them were, uh, concubines of a sort."

Professor Zei didn't look up from his paper, but asked, "Were you one of the concubines?"

Even after having three children, Katara couldn't help the blush that stained her cheeks. "Well, no. But everyone else believed that I was and we had to let them think that. See, when we first came to port, the Fire Lord brought us in for an audience. Zuko was afraid his father would want to keep me. So he tried to protect me by letting his father believe that he and I were, well, intimate."

"And this plan worked?"

Katara nodded. "Yeah, it worked. Zuko got to keep me. I was pretty mad at first. I thought he had intended to use me for what everyone else already thought he was using me for. But that didn't turn out to be the case. He was putting his life on the line though, deceiving his father that way. So he kept me locked up for a while, in his room. I still remember the first time he let me go somewhere with him, and even that was just breakfast. I guess it was almost a month after we'd been there."

"Why didn't he want to let you out of his room?"

Katara sighed. "Well, he was afraid I wasn't a good enough actress. See, he'd seen slaves and masters in the market. He explained to me that the slaves had to wear their clothes and hair in the traditional styles of their homelands, at all times. They had to keep their chins up, but their eyes down. They weren't allowed to speak. Any time their master knelt or sat, the slave had to kneel and place their foreheads on the floor until the master told them they could sit up. The slaves had to be beautiful, but utterly submissive. He didn't think I could pull off the submissive part."

Professor Zei laughed. "Well, that was a pretty valid concern, was it not?"

Katara joined him in laughing. "Oh, I suppose. But once my new blue clothes came in, and we practiced what I was supposed to do, he decided to take me with him to breakfast. He usually had breakfast sent to me, and he would eat in the sunroom on the eastern side of the palace. We ended up having the room to ourselves, besides the servants, so it went really smoothly. He started taking me with him to breakfast every day after that. At the end of that first week though, we had trouble."

"The Fire Lord?"

"No, worse. It was Azula," Katara said quietly. Her fists clenched involuntarily to think of the former Fire Nation Princess. "She came in all righteous fury and demanding that Zuko make me bow before her. I just sort of froze. Everything in me wanted to jump up and wring her neck. I just sat there with my eyes on the floor and ignored her. All I did was listen to Zuko's voice. He told her that I was _his_ and that he didn't have to make me do anything _he_ didn't want me to do. She stormed out angry, and we kind of figured we had another set of trouble on our hands."

"What do you mean?"

Katara shrugged. "Well, Azula was always looking for some way to get Zuko in trouble with their father. She had been trying to prove that he and I weren't, uh, romantically involved. But she hadn't been able to do that. So when he hadn't made me be submissive to her, she threw a fit and we figured she would redouble her efforts to find us out."

"Hmmm, that does seem like something she would do, doesn't it?" the professor mused. He wrote another few things on his parchment before standing and moving the wet paper to another table to dry.

Katara saw her opportunity to leave and she took it. "Look, professor, I don't mean to be short but I really would like to find Izumi. I'm afraid she might be off somewhere, setting things on fire."

The professor's eyes bulged. "She's what?"

Katara laughed.

* * *

She was lost. She was so, so lost.

When Izumi had woken to find her parents in bed together, she had stormed off, angry at the world. What were they doing? He married another_ woman_, for Spirits' sake. She had run through the hallways and bookcases, taking turns and staircases without looking, blindly trying to escape the pain in her heart. She had cried, and screamed, and ranted, with little success in making the hurt go away. It had broken her heart to see them so happy. She wanted them to be that happy all the time, but her _father_ had ruined the chance of that.

Now that she had calmed down to a certain extent, she realized just how lost she really was. She had no idea where she was or how to begin finding her way back to the part of the library that she was familiar with. Everything on this side of the library was dark, and quiet. There were a few lamps, but almost no windows. Izumi found that it was a little creepy and she began to be afraid and tense.

She sighed and plopped down in the middle of a hallway. She brought her knees up to her chest and propped her chin up on them. She needed to think of what to do.

She wasn't given much time to think though. Her head jerked up as she watched a large, black shadow fall across her. She turned around slowly and almost screamed at what she saw.

It was a giant, black and white owl, towering many feet above her.

"Hello, human," the owl said.

Izumi gulped. She could feel a cold sweat break out along her spine. "You can speak?" she asked, hesitantly. She thought maybe her fear was making her hear the impossible.

The bird nodded. "I am Wan Shi Tong, He Who Knows Ten Thousand Things," he replied.

Izumi relaxed a little. She took a couple of deep breaths, trying to get her heart to stop pounding out of her chest. So, here was the spirit of the library. She hadn't gotten to meet him yet, and she suddenly wished her mother had introduced her before now. "Only ten thousand?" she asked, pulling herself to her feet. "With a library this big I would have thought you knew more things than that." Izumi defaulted to sarcasm. Like her uncle, she tended to do so when she was uncomfortable.

Wan Shi Tong seemed to think about this for a moment before answering. "Hmm, I suppose you are correct. I know much more than ten thousand things. But, what other number sounds so good when you say it?"

Izumi pursed her lips. "Well, I guess you have a point there. Ten thousand does have a certain ring to it, doesn't it?"

"Indeed," the spirit agreed. "What are you doing on this end of the library, little human? I have not permitted it."

Izumi shifted uncomfortably. "Well, you see I was looking for a book, and well. I got lost."

Wan Shi Tong narrowed his eyes at her. "You lie like your uncle."

"What do you mean?" the girl asked, confused.

"Poorly," the great spirit answered. "You must remember that I'm an all-knowing spirit."

Izumi looked down at her feet, embarrassed. "Oh, right."

"But you are lost. Would you like help finding your way?"

The young firebender looked up and nodded. Wan Shi Tong motioned for her to follow him and started down a hallway.

Izumi followed in silence for a long way. She hadn't even realized how far she had run in her anger before, and her cheeks reddened in embarrassment.

As if reading her thoughts, the owl asked, "What are you so angry about, little human?"

Izumi bristled. "I'm mad at my parents."

"Have they harmed you?" he asked, not bothering to look over his shoulder at her. He just kept moving.

"Well, no," Izumi answered.

"Have they harmed someone else?"

Izumi crossed her arms. "No, they haven't."

"Do you believe they will take your life, or the lives of anyone else?"

Her shoulders slumped, but she kept following the all-knowing spirit. "No."

"Then I don't understand what they could have done to incite your anger to this degree."

"Well they, they…" Izumi started and then stopped. What _had_ her parents done? Spent a night together? Comforted one another through a difficult time? Loved one another? Was that really worth how angry she had become? Was that really worth running off and getting lost and having to be taught lessons by a giant, scary owl?

"Your parents are two of the saviors of the human world," Wan Shi Tong stated. "They have made many sacrifices in their lives. You would do well to remember these things."

Izumi nodded. They were finally coming to a row of books that she recognized.

Wan Shi Tong turned and narrowed his considerable eyes in her direction. "I leave you here, little human. You would do well to think on what I have told you."

Izumi bowed to the spirit, who moved off and disappeared as quickly as he had shown up. The girl started toward the kitchen, ready for something to eat after speaking with Wan Shi Tong. She had a lot to think about, now that her anger was wearing off. She wasn't sure where to start.

* * *

A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. Up next: another trip to the Zutara of the past…

Also, I now have set up a separate Facebook account for my writing! www . facebook . com/Lucawindmover (minus the spaces). This is a great way to keep informed about updates, brainstorming, ask questions and give feedback. For authors, it's a great way to bounce ideas and keep in touch. I hope you will all friend-request me. It's been a lot of fun using this account to keep up with writing!

Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender and I make no money from my stories. I just really enjoy tormenting the wonderful characters that have been provided for us. I also don't own the lyrics to "Closer to the Edge" by 30 Seconds to Mars, but it is a great song.


	16. Chapter 16

"Closer to the Edge"

By Lucawindmover

Chapter Sixteen

"Time"

* * *

_Fifteen years previously, in the Fire Nation Capital…_

Zuko was having that dream again.

Katara could feel him tossing and turning behind her. Occasionally he would mumble something, usually his sister's name, before quieting back down and being still. Usually the dream wouldn't bother him for more than a few minutes, after which they would both fall back asleep. She wouldn't ask him about it in the morning, and he never seemed interested in confiding in her. Some mornings it seemed like the dream was still haunting him, while other mornings it seemed as if he didn't even remember dreaming.

But tonight was something different. She had no idea how long he'd been restless now, but it was a lot longer than usual and it was keeping her from falling back to sleep. She sighed and sat up, rubbing sleep from her eyes. She looked over at him and wondered whether or not she should wake him up. She yawned and got out of bed quietly. He didn't seem to wake.

Katara moved to the bathroom and poured him a glass of water. She came back over to Zuko's side of the bed, placing the glass of water on the side table. She sat lightly on the edge of the bed and reached over to touch his shoulder. "Zuko?" she said, trying to wake him gently. "Zuko, wake up. You're dreaming."

Zuko's eyes flew open and he sat up quickly, gasping. The movement startled Katara so badly that she fell off the edge of the bed with a squeak. She looked up at him, wide-eyed, slowly recognizing the look on his face.

He was going to be sick.

Zuko launched himself off the bed and ran toward the bathroom. From the sounds of it, he'd made it just in time. Katara grimaced, hearing him retching in the other room. She got up off the floor and followed him to the doorway. In times like these, she was thankful for her strong stomach.

She glanced in to see him hunched over the toilet, his forehead resting on the seat. She cringed, imagining all the germs he was putting himself in contact with. She moved into the room and used the faucet to wet a wash cloth. She wrung out the rag and folded it, placing it across the back of his neck. He shivered at the contact. He sat up a little and leaned away from the toilet. Katara fixed him another wash cloth, which he used to wipe his face and mouth with.

He leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes. He moved the cloth from the back of his neck to his forehead. After a moment, he sighed. "Sorry about that," he said, clearing his throat.

Katara sat on the floor next to him, taking his right hand in both of hers. It felt clammy. "You don't need to apologize," she responded. "Are you feeling okay now? You still look sick."

He shook his head.

They sat this way for a few minutes, Zuko taking deep breaths and Katara rubbing little circles on his hand with her thumb. He wasn't sure if she realized she was doing that, but he didn't really mind it.

When his head began nodding forward, Katara realized he was starting to fall back asleep. She stood and tugged on his hand. "Come on, you don't need to spend the night on the bathroom floor."

Zuko blinked slowly and let her pull him to his feet. He stopped at the sink on the way out, to rinse the awful taste out of his mouth. He followed her back to bed. She tucked him in and put the cool washcloth back on his forehead before moving over to her side of the bed. She climbed under the covers and laid on her left side, watching him.

"What were you dreaming about?" she asked softly when she realized he wasn't going to fall right back to sleep.

He had his eyes closed still. He reached up and pulled the wash cloth off of his forehead and dropped it on the table next to the bed, almost knocking the glass of water off in the process. That caused his eyes to open, and he sat up on his elbows. He picked up the water and looked at her. "What's this?" he asked, gesturing toward the glass.

Katara shrugged. "I was going to have you drink it when I woke you up. But then, you know, you got sick and I forgot I put it there."

Zuko took a sip of the water and put it back on the table. He turned and laid facing her, pulling the blankets up to his chin. He actually looked cold, which concerned Katara. As far as she could tell, he never got cold.

"I was having a nightmare," Zuko said. He didn't elaborate.

Katara rolled her eyes. "Well, I figured that much from all the thrashing around and muttering you were doing, genius. What was the nightmare about?"

Zuko frowned. He opened his mouth to say something and then he blushed and looked away instead.

The look wasn't lost on Katara. "What is it?"

"Nothing," he muttered, still not making eye contact.

"It's not nothing," Katara said. "It's something and I want you to tell me."

Zuko closed his eyes. "I wanted to ask you a favor, okay?"

Katara's brow furrowed. "What kind of favor?"

"Could you, I don't know, come closer over here? I'm feeling all cold and, I don't know, shaky or something," he asked, his eyes still closed. Katara could see that he was blushing a little worse. "And then I'll tell you what I dreamed."

She thought about it for a moment while she watched him. He looked so pitiful, and more pale than usual. And he was asking for her help, which wasn't something he usually did. Katara was a nurturer at heart, and even though they were supposed to be enemies, she found she didn't enjoy seeing him like this.

Katara scooted closer to him and tried not to hesitate as his arms wrapped around her and pulled her against his body. She rolled on her back and blushed as Zuko rested his face against the curve of her neck. She untangled her right arm and placed it lightly on his bicep, which was crossed over her chest.

She took a deep breath and tried to be still. She didn't want him to feel guilty for keeping her up, or for putting her in this position. She really did just want to make him feel better. And, although she didn't want to admit it, she actually was pretty comfortable with him this close. She wasn't sure when that had happened, but she found she didn't mind the thought as much as she figured she would.

_So much for being enemies_, she thought with a sigh.

"You probably haven't seen a beheading, have you?" he asked quietly. Katara shivered again, both at the mental image he was presenting and at the feel of his warm breath on her neck and shoulder.

"No."

Zuko took a deep breath. "Well, I hadn't actually seen one either. Not before what Azula did in Ba Sing Se," he paused. "It was pretty awful."

Katara didn't know what to say. He was talking about Aang. She didn't realize she was crying until she felt the hot tears roll down her cheeks.

Zuko didn't seem to notice either. "I keep having dreams about it, nightmares. It isn't always the Avatar in the dreams. Sometimes, Azula does that to my mother," he paused again. "Those ones are pretty bad."

Katara gulped and tried to make her voice steady. "What happened in this dream?" she asked. This dream had seemed so much worse than the others. After all, it had been bad enough to make him sick to his stomach.

She could feel his arms tighten around her. His voice was shaky. "It was you. She did that to you. And then she took your head…she threw your head at me… she laughed…" he stopped. She could hear the tears in his voice. "Agni, Katara. I couldn't save you and she _laughed_ at me."

Katara could feel the tears begin to soak into her sleeping shirt, but she didn't really care. She tightened her grip on his arm as she felt him shake with silent sobs. Katara cried too. She wasn't sure if it was the thoughts of her beloved friend or the anguish of her newfound friend. It didn't really matter as they both seemed to break her heart.

She turned and gripped his shoulder, using it to roll her body to face him. He wrapped his arms around her in a hug, clutching her to his chest. Katara shushed him, making soothing noises and rubbing the space between his shoulder blades with her free hand.

After a few moments his breathing became more even and she knew the worst was over. Her own tears had mostly dried and she was feeling more stable now too. He pulled back from her a little, loosening his grip, so he could see her eyes. Katara was sure she'd never seen a pair of eyes look as remorseful as his did. It brought a fresh wave of tears to her own eyes.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered, maintaining eye contact. "I should have stopped her. I would have never, ever harmed him. Katara, you have to believe me," he said. His voice was raw with emotion.

Katara sniffled. She did believe him. She remembered that look of horror on his face, back in Ba Sing Se. She knew he wouldn't have done what Azula did.

"I forgive you, Zuko," She said, blinking and letting the tears fall.

Zuko closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to hers. He was so warm to her. She vaguely wondered if he were running a fever.

He felt as if a thousand pounds were lifted off of his shoulders. He had found over the time they had spent together that he needed her forgiveness more than he had ever needed his honor. He still didn't feel like he'd redeemed himself for her attack, but at least he no longer felt like she blamed him for the death of her friend.

They stayed this way for quite some time. Katara drifted off to sleep at some point, feeling much better for having forgiven Zuko. She hadn't realized that her grudge against him had been taking so much of her energy. She could just be his friend now. She could try to get along with him now. They could be allies now.

They didn't _have_ to be enemies anymore.

Zuko didn't sleep any more that night. He wasn't ready to continue his dreaming. Instead, he lay awake, holding Katara to him as she slept. She never seemed to pull away from him, and he had no desire to push her away. He felt like something important had passed between them this night, and he was thankful for it. While she slept on, he wracked his brain, trying to think of some way he could overthrow his father.

He wouldn't be able to do it alone.

* * *

Zuko knew he was taking a risk, but considering his odds alone, it was a risk he was willing to take. He kept to the shadows with his hood pulled up, relieved when he made it to the prison without being stopped by anyone.

He managed to bribe the one guard he did meet along the way, paying the man handsomely for his silence. When he opened the outer door to his uncle's cell, he wasn't surprised to see that the man was snoring softly.

Zuko shut the door behind him and knelt near the bars of his uncle's cell. He hadn't seen his uncle since that night in Ba Sing Se. Zuko hadn't seen his uncle since he betrayed the man. The knot in his throat all but made it impossible for him to speak. He had to clear his throat a couple of times before he could get any sound out.

"Uncle," he said, his voice raspy.

The Dragon of the West stirred, turning sleepy eyes toward his nephew. The moment he realized who he was looking at, however, he struggled to a sitting position and turned to face the young man. Zuko was suddenly sweating. He had no idea what his reception might be.

"Prince Zuko," the older man said. He opened his mouth as if to say something else, but closed it again and waited to see what his nephew had to say.

"Uncle, I…" Zuko paused, unsure of what to say. "I've made a mistake, a huge mistake. Uncle, I need your help to put things right." The young man couldn't meet his uncle's gaze. He kept his eyes trained to the ground, pursing his lips in frustration when he felt the tell-tale tingle of incoming tears.

Zuko was surprised when he felt the man's arms reach through the bars, pulling him into an awkward hug. Zuko threw his arms around his uncle, the best that he could, and returned the hug for all he was worth. "Uncle," he started. "How? How can you forgive me? Aren't you still angry?"

Iroh pressed his forehead to that of his nephew's. "Zuko, I was never angry. I was only sad," he paused, not caring that he too had tears welling in his eyes. "I was afraid for you. Afraid that you had lost your way."

"Well, I've found it now," Zuko replied, smiling through his tears. "Or, at least I think I have. But I need some help. I can't do this all by myself."

Iroh nodded and listened as Zuko recounted the past month's events. Zuko didn't skim over anything, and made sure to tell the man about the waterbender's attack and her involvement in his plans. Iroh shuddered at what had befallen the girl, but knew that if Zuko was taking care of her, she couldn't have been in better hands.

"So what it comes to," Zuko summed up, "Is that we need to get in contact with the Order of the White Lotus."

Iroh nodded sagely. "This is logical, my boy. But I have a secret for you," he lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "I have already been in contact with them."

Zuko's eyes widened in response. "What? How? You've been locked up the whole time."

Iroh grinned. "An old man has his ways."

Zuko shook his head. His uncle was a far more mysterious man than anyone gave him credit for. Perhaps that was how he was able to get away with it. "Do they have any plans?"

Iroh nodded. "I cannot give you the details, in case you were to be questioned. This way you can honestly say you knew nothing. But I can tell you that there is little time. On the Day of Black Sun, the Order has plans for something very important. It does not involve my brother, however. I'm afraid that you and the waterbender will be alone on that task."

Zuko pinched his nose in frustration. He'd been afraid of that. "If only she still had her waterbending. She and I would have a real chance."

"Oh?" Iroh said, his eyes twinkling. "You mean she hasn't figured out how to release her bonds yet?"

Zuko shot his uncle an incredulous glare. "What are you talking about, old man?"

Iroh just smiled and held up a hand, producing a small, orange flame.

Zuko was flabbergasted. He could see that his uncle still had the Binding Bands on. "How are you doing that?"

The old man snuffed his flame and pushed his wrist forward for his nephew to see. Along the back side of the band there was a large space missing, as if someone had cut out a section of the band. "All of my bands are like this."

"Why don't you just take them off?" Zuko asked, still in shock from what his uncle had just revealed.

Iroh shook his head. "I don't want to draw any attention to myself. Now," he said, settling back a little farther. "You need to take Katara somewhere to meditate. This is the only way she will find out how to break her bonds."

Zuko just blinked. Could this possibly be another one of his uncle's silly metaphors? "Meditate? Just meditate?"

Iroh shook his head and laughed softly. "Not just meditate, my boy. She has to meditate on the nature of the Binding Bands. Then she will learn the secrets and will be free of them."

Zuko threw his arms up. "Well how long is that going to take?"

"Hmmm," the old man mused, tapping a finger on his chin. "I suppose that depends on how good she is at meditation."

* * *

Katara hadn't been able to sleep. When Zuko told her where he was going and then left, she had not been able to close her eyes. She laid in bed for a while, pondering what Zuko was doing, visiting his uncle in the middle of the night. But she quickly realized that she had spent so many nights sleeping next to him, and at least one of those wrapped in his arms, that she couldn't get used to the feeling of the empty bed. Eventually she got up and moved over to the window seat.

It was late enough out that the vista was mostly moonlit. Katara couldn't see many stars because the moon was too bright. It wasn't full, as she had hoped it would be. She felt strange, not being aware of the moon phases. Even with the Binding Bands on she could feel when the moon was out, but a full moon and a quarter moon pulled her with the same strength, which wasn't the case when she was free.

Katara was startled out of her reverie when the door creaked open, admitting a cloaked Fire Prince.

"Katara, we have another mission tonight," he said, closing the door behind him. He didn't bring up the lights. He didn't want anyone from outside to be able to tell that something was out of the ordinary.

Katara jumped up from her seat. "What mission?" she asked, watching as he disappeared behind his screen. He came back out with a second cloak.

"I'll tell you in a minute. First, go change into your black clothes. We're going out," he said. He tossed the spare cloak on the bed and went to his desk while he waited for her to change. She grabbed what she needed out of her trunk and went to the bathroom.

She only took a moment and returned wearing the first set of clothes he had purchased for her. He pointed to the cloak and she donned this as well. The pair of them looked like a set of sneak thieves. He moved to the door and motioned for her to follow him. Katara wanted to ask about a hundred questions, but held her tongue and followed him through the darkened and quiet hallways.

Eventually he held his hand out to her, which she took, and he pulled her out into a courtyard.

She couldn't help but gasp at the sight.

There was a pond in the center of the little square with a cherry willow overhanging the water on one side. Under Katara's boots she could tell that the grass was as soft as feathers. The water beautifully reflected the rays of the moon, sparkling with ripples made by nocturnal koi fish. She was genuinely surprised that in the middle of the Fire Nation Royal Palace there was something so, well, Water Tribe.

"Zuko, where are we?" she whispered. He pulled her closer to the water.

He could feel her fingers tighten on his as they neared the pond. "This was my mother's reflection pool," he said softly. Once they reached the edge, he pulled her to a sitting position on the impossibly soft grass. "We used to sit here and feed the turtle ducks."

Katara couldn't help but gaze in wonder. This was the closest she'd felt to her element since the Binding Bands had been placed on her wrists. Even on the open sea she hadn't felt this close to the water and the moon. The feeling of being so close to her element nearly brought tears to her eyes. "But why are we here?"

"Uncle Iroh has figured out how to break his bands," Zuko whispered.

Katara's eyes went wide. She was vaguely aware that she hadn't let go of Zuko's hand. "What…how?"

Zuko sighed. "He said he did it through meditation. He said if you could be somewhere near your element, it might help you meditate and unlock the secret."

The waterbender turned her eyes to the pool before her. It was true that she felt close to the water, but she wasn't sure it would help her any. "Zuko, I've never meditated before," she said, turning her eyes back to him.

He nodded. "I was afraid of that," he said. "As a firebender, it's a necessity to be good at meditation. It helps provide balance, since fire is so temperamental."

Katara couldn't help the smirk. Zuko couldn't help the eye roll.

"Okay," he said. "I'm going to teach you the best way I know how. Turn around and press your back against mine."

Katara obliged, unsure of what this was going to accomplish. Even through all the layers of clothing they were wearing, she could still feel the heat of him as her back hit his. She was suddenly reminded of how warm and wonderful his arms had been the previous night. The thought brought warmth to her cheeks and she was thankful he wasn't able to see her blush.

He had positioned her to be facing the moon. He knew that the moon was the first waterbender, and if anything was going to help her meditate, the moon would be it.

"Now, I want you to take long, deep breaths with me. Uncle said for you to focus on the nature of the Binding Bands and by doing so, you'll figure out the secret."

Katara closed her eyes, even though Zuko hadn't told her to. She turned her face up toward the moon, more out of instinct than anything else. She followed Zuko's example of breathing, pulling the air in through her nose each time that he did. She pushed the breath out through her mouth, mirroring his breath. Her body started to feel like jelly and she started to feel the pull of the moon in her veins.

She felt like she blinked, which was strange because she had been sure she had her eyes closed. When she opened them, she wasn't sure what was going on.

She was outside her body. She was floating outside of her body. She knew that Aang had done similar things while meditating, but she had always thought it was an Avatar thing. Now she realized that anyone could cross over to the spirit world if given the right incentive and attention to meditation.

She floated out over the water and turned back to look at her body. She saw herself, slumped a little and leaning on Zuko. Zuko seemed to still be breathing deeply, unaware that she wasn't with him anymore.

What she saw next is what confused her most. Sitting a little way back on the lawn were five children, all about ten years old. They were spirits, like she was, and were watching her intently. As she moved closer to them, she noticed that each child was tied to her body by a thin, silvery thread.

"Hello?" she called to them.

It was as if they hadn't been sure she could see them, and as soon as they realized she could, they came barreling toward her.

"Oh mistress, please! Please free us from this place!" they were shouting, begging of her. Three little girls and two little boys pulled on her arms, on her hands, begging her to cut the ties that bound them.

"Hold on one minute," she said, trying to calm them down. "How did you come to be tied to my body?" she asked them, once they had quieted a little.

The girl on the far right answered. "We're non-benders. The firebenders have been rounding up non-bending children for many years now, to use us for this."

Katara knelt on the grass. She had a heavy feeling in her stomach, dread. "I'm not sure what you mean, little ones."

One of the boys spoke up next. He might have only been a child, but his expression was of a person much older than that. "The firebenders figured out how to make these awful bracelets that keep a person from bending. But they couldn't do it without tying a spirit to it, a non-bending spirit. We are your Binding Spirits."

Katara could feel her breath speeding up. She desperately hoped she was following him wrong. "Do you mean, they took your lives to make those bands?" she asked, her voice wavering. She pointed back to her where her body sat.

The children nodded in unison. Katara would have fainted if she wasn't already unconscious.

They had sacrificed children. One non-bending child for each band made. Hundreds of children across the nations had been collected and ritually sacrificed so that the Fire Nation could stand on top of the world.

_Think about it later_, Katara told herself. "How do I free you, little ones?"

The other boy answered. "Well, you already did the hard part by getting out of your body. Now all you have to do is break the strings."

Katara looked at each of their tiny hands, each with a silver string tied to a wrist. Katara reached down and gripped the first thread. It was sturdy. She couldn't figure out how it was tied. She couldn't touch anything physical, so she couldn't just find a sharp rock to cut through it. Finally, she settled for trying to chew through the cord. It wasn't easy, but she managed to break through the first thread. The little girl on the far left sighed in relief and faded into the darkness.

"Thank you, mistress…" Katara heard on the wind.

She was about to start on the next cord when she saw motion out of the corner of her eye. Zuko was shaking her body with a worried look on his face. There wasn't enough time! Afraid that they were about to be caught, Katara promised the other children that she would be back soon and promptly slid back into her skin. Her eyes popped open and Zuko jerked her to her feet, pulling her around the back of the tree.

He had one hand over her mouth and the other pulling her tightly against his body. Katara couldn't help the fact that she was shaking like a leaf. She could feel that he was shaking too.

They heard a guard making his rounds, passing through the entryway at one end of the pavilion and moving across to the other. The man didn't bother to look behind the tree as he was more or less just walking a circuit. When Zuko let out a nervous breath, Katara finally relaxed and, upon remembering what she had learned, promptly fainted.

* * *

A/N: I know. It's bad. It's really bad. But you'll see why it has to be that way. I will make it up to the children, I promise.

Also, I now have set up a separate Facebook account for my writing! www . facebook . com/Lucawindmover (minus the spaces). This is a great way to keep informed about updates, brainstorming, ask questions and give feedback. For authors, it's a great way to bounce ideas and keep in touch. I hope you will all friend-request me. It's been a lot of fun using this account to keep up with writing!

Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender and I make no money from my stories. I just really enjoy tormenting the wonderful characters that have been provided for us. I also don't own the lyrics to "Closer to the Edge" by 30 Seconds to Mars, but it is a great song.


	17. Chapter 17

"Closer to the Edge"

By Lucawindmover

Chapter Seventeen

"Truth"

* * *

_Fifteen years previously, in the Fire Nation Capital…_

Zuko was almost caught three times as he carried the waterbender back to their room. He'd never noticed how many guards patrolled the hallways. He vaguely wondered how many of them were spies for his sister. Katara wasn't exactly heavy, but having to stop and hide in dark corners, waiting for the opportune moment was beginning to wear him down. His heart was racing and sweat beaded on his forehead. By the time he finally kicked open the door to their room, he thought his arms were going to fall off.

Katara still hadn't stirred.

He carried her over to the bed and laid her as gently as he could with his arms in such bad shape. The moment he was free of her weight, he dropped to the floor, panting. His shoulders and arms burned with exertion. He quickly untied his cloak and threw it to the side. He took a moment to stretch before standing and moving back to the bed.

Katara still hadn't stirred.

Zuko pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. He wasn't sure what to do. He'd never had to take care of an unconscious person before, or anyone else really for that matter. Was he supposed to wake her? Or would it be better if he let her sleep? Did she need water? Was she too hot in the cloak? Should he tuck her in, or would that just make her mad when she woke up?

He stopped himself in mid-stride when he realized he had been pacing. Pacing wasn't going to solve anything.

He decided to try removing her cloak and boots. If the action woke her up then she was supposed to be woken up, he decided. If it didn't, then she needed sleep. It made sense in his head, even if there was no medical basis behind his conclusion. Katara would probably know what to do, but she wasn't conscious to tell him.

He moved over to her and fumbled with untying her cloak. For whatever reason, he couldn't seem to get his fingers to cooperate. He blushed when he realized that it was because in untying her cloak, he was having to brush his fingers across her chest.

He took a step back and a deep breath, forming his hands into fists at his side. _Be a man, Zuko_, he told himself and he went back to untying the knot. This time it seemed to come undone like magic. He rolled her a little to her side and pulled the cloak out from underneath her. It wasn't an easy task, but when he was finished he tossed it over with his. The fact that all of this jostling hadn't woken her up made him think he had indeed done the right thing by not trying to wake her. It also made him worry a little more.

Next he sat near her feet and untied her shoes, tossing them in a pile on the floor. In doing so, he noticed that the Binding Band on her left ankle was loose. He turned it around on her leg and discovered that, like his uncle, her band had a small chunk missing out of the back. He felt his eyes go wide and made himself check her other bands. All of the others were intact. He sighed and wondered if this had anything to do with why she was unconscious. His uncle hadn't said anything about fainting. But then, he hadn't really had time to ask his uncle too many questions.

He stood back and admired his handy work, only to realize he'd tucked her in on his side of the bed.

_Why don't I notice these kinds of details?_ He wondered, smacking his forehead with the palm of his hand. He sighed and shrugged to himself, figuring it didn't much matter which side of the bed she slept on.

Now that he had her all tucked in and safe, he allowed himself a moment to think.

What had happened to her while she was meditating? One moment he could feel her breathing with him, her back pressed against his. He'd enjoyed that a little more than he should have. There had been a connection between the two of them in those few moments, a body and spirit connection. He longed to have another moment like that. Then he had felt her start to relax and after a moment she slumped over a little. He figured he would give her a few minutes before he checked to see if she had fallen asleep. But it had only _been_ a few minutes before he could hear a guard coming. He turned around to find her unconscious and he wasn't sure how that had happened. He shook her a little, trying to get her to come around before they were caught. When her eyes eventually flew open, he figured they would be okay. But once the danger was gone, she had looked up at him with a terrified look and then fainted again.

And then she stayed that way.

He didn't know what to do now. He almost went behind the screen to change, but then realized it didn't matter since she was out like a light. He pulled off his shirt and shucked his boots. He thought about changing into a lighter pair of pants, but he was suddenly so exhausted that he didn't care. He went around to Katara's usual side of the bed and flopped down, hoping to jostle her awake.

He turned his head to the left to see if he'd had any affect but Katara was still out.

He sighed. Maybe if he let her sleep she would be okay in the morning.

* * *

Katara groaned. Her whole body felt as if it had been through the ringer. She didn't try to move yet. She didn't know if her body would let her. She did feel warm though. Pleasantly warm. She was leaning against something strong and warm, something wrapped around her.

Her brain started to clear enough to open her eyes. She was disoriented at first because she was used to sleeping on the other side of the bed. That was strange. She yawned and looked back over her right shoulder, suddenly realizing the source of the warmth.

She didn't remember going to bed. She didn't remember taking of her shoes and cloak and landing on Zuko's side of the bed. But here she was. And here was Zuko with his right arm thrown over her hip, his chest pressed to her back. She could even feel the long line of his thigh against hers. He was still asleep. His face was nuzzled into her hair and she could feel his warm breath on the back of her neck.

Katara relaxed into his embrace and felt it as his arm tightened around her in his sleep. She closed her eyes again. _Really, everyone should have a firebender to cuddle with_, she thought. _It's so nice and cozy._

Just as she was starting to fall back asleep, she remembered the five little faces and that jerked her rudely back to the world of the waking.

She stiffened and gasped. The motion caused Zuko to stir.

"Zuko," she choked out. She wrapped her hand around the one of his that she could reach.

"Hmm?" he said, sleepily. She tried to roll over to look at him, but her body protested. She only managed to lean against him a little harder.

"Zuko, wake up, please! It's really important!" Katara said, her voice urgent.

He seemed to hear her clearly this time. "Katara, you're awake!" he said, surprised. He leaned up on his left elbow. The motion put a little space between them and Katara used it to roll on her back.

"Yeah," she said, wincing. "I really wish I wasn't though. I hurt all over."

Zuko furrowed his brows, looking down at her in confusion. "You hurt?" he asked.

Katara nodded, but even that made her wince.

"Where?"

"Everywhere, as far as I can tell. What happened to me last night?" she asked, suddenly afraid of what befell them after she fainted.

"I don't know," he answered. He ran his right hand through his hair. "I was going to ask you the same question. We managed to hide from the guard but as soon as we were safe, you fainted on me."

Katara took a moment to digest the information. "And you brought me back here and put me to bed?"

He nodded.

Katara blushed. That's why she was still in her sneaky clothes. She was suddenly very grateful that he hadn't decided to put her in her sleeping clothes instead.

"I was worried," Zuko started, turning his eyes away from hers. "When you didn't wake up, I was worried. That's why I was sleeping like this," he said. He gestured between them, trying to make her understand what he meant. He suddenly seemed a little embarrassed and she appreciated his blush. "I wanted to be right here in case, well you know, you uh, needed me or something. You know?"

She couldn't help but smirk at his attempt to get himself out of hot water. She could tell that he was afraid she would be mad at him. She was too tired to be mad though. And he had been pretty comfortable to lean against. "Thank you, Zuko," she said. "It was nice. You're warm, you know."

Zuko blushed deeper but smiled at the same time. "Well you know, I _am_ a firebender."

"Yes you are, Captain Obvious," Katara teased. Zuko laughed.

Katara nestled her head back into her pillow and sighed, closing her eyes. This newfound friendship with Zuko was easier than she thought it would be. It had taken her a while to realize it, but the reason it had been hard in the first place was because she had been fighting it so hard. It felt really nice to not be fighting any more. She was so tired of fighting. She was just so tired. She was so tired that she had already forgotten what it was that made her want to wake Zuko up anyway.

Zuko sighed as he watched her fall back asleep. She had barely been awake. He wasn't even sure she _had_ been awake. She wasn't usually this nice to him when she was alert.

He reached over and brushed a piece of hair back from her forehead, marveling at how peaceful she looked when she was asleep. He wasn't sure what time it was, but it wasn't yet dawn. He didn't fight it when a yawn over took him. He settled himself beside her again, this time throwing his arm over her stomach and pulling her side closer to his body. He pressed his forehead to her ear and was asleep again in moments.

* * *

Zuko could feel the sun rising without having to open his eyes. Being a firebender, he was always acutely aware of both the sunrise and sunset. Even now, with the sun just barely breaking the edge of the world, he could feel the familiar heat flooding his veins. He sighed in contentment and laid with his eyes for another few moments.

He yawned and started to stretch from head to toe, as he usually did, when he felt something bump against his back. His back? His eyes popped open and he found that he'd rolled over in his sleep. Behind him, curled into a little ball, was Katara. Her forehead had been pressed against his shoulder blades. She was still fast asleep and Zuko managed to get out of bed without waking her.

He looked down at her and smiled. She never usually woke until several hours after dawn, which he found amusing. She wasn't a morning person at all. With him out of the bed, she looked cold. He pulled the blankets up around her shoulders and she nuzzled his pillow a little. She didn't wake up though.

Zuko just shook his head, smiling. He would take this opportunity to fulfill his usual morning routine. He did a few stretches first, as his arms and legs were still feeling the strain of having carried Katara through the halls the previous night. Once he felt loose he moved over to the small shrine in the corner. He lit his candles and incense before settling down to meditate. This was such a peaceful time for him, one of his favorite parts of the day. He silently went through his usual prayers to Agni, adding one at the end for Katara to recover from her ordeal. Then he added another behind it, begging Agni not to be mad at him for praying for a waterbender.

When he was finished, he snuffed the candles and incense. He peeked over at Katara, who was still snuggled down in the middle of the bed. Seeing that she was fine, he decided to go ahead and take his bath.

He sighed in pleasure as he lowered himself down into the hot tub. He immediately dunked his head under to wet his hair and came up, running his fingers through the wet tendrils and pushing them away from his face. He leaned back with the water around his shoulders, relaxing his sore muscles. He had just closed his eyes, resolved to enjoy the peace for a few minutes, when he heard Katara scream.

The sound jerked him out of the tub faster than anything else in the world could have. He absently grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist as he burst through the bathroom door.

"Katara, what is it!" he shouted, immediately scanning the room for an intruder. No one else was in the room with them

Katara was sitting up in the bed, both hands clasped to her heaving chest. Her eyes were huge and brimming with tears. Zuko was next to the bed before he even realized he'd moved. He sat down on his side of the bed and grabbed her shoulder with his free hand. "Katara!" he said, shaking her a little to get her eyes to focus. "What is it?"

She finally turned her eyes to him and the tears coursed down her cheeks. "Oh Zuko. Oh no. I remember. I remember what happened to me last night!"

She began to relate to him what had happened during their meditation, and the horrible information she had discovered. Between great hiccupping sobs she managed to tell him about the one little spirit she was able to free. Her shoulder was shaking under his hand as he stared at her in shock.

When she was finished she just stared up at him, eyes wide, tears still flowing in a steady stream.

"And," Zuko said, swallowing hard. "You're absolutely sure this isn't something you dreamed while you were out of it?"

Katara's expression twisted into one of righteous indignation. "I didn't dream that, Zuko. It's true!" she shouted, weakly trying to push him away. He didn't budge.

Zuko held up his one free hand in defense. "Look, I was just asking to be sure, okay?"

Katara continued to glower at him before her façade cracked and the tears came back.

His face melted. If what she was saying was the truth, he had to find out who was doing the actual making of these terrible Binding Bands. He had to make sure his uncle informed the Order of the White Lotus. If they could get the word out, maybe the people would be so disgusted that he could use them against his father…

Zuko reached forward and pulled Katara to him. She pressed her forehead to the middle of his chest and continued to cry. Zuko could feel his own throat closing up. He blinked away the tears that threatened. It wouldn't do either of them any good for him to lose it now. She needed him to be strong right now, and he was determined to do just that.

After a few minutes Katara seemed to calm a little. "Um, Zuko?" she asked without lifting her head.

"Hmmm?"

"Why are you in just a towel?" she managed to squeak out.

Zuko suddenly blushed furiously. He hadn't even thought about it. "Oh, uh. I was taking a bath when you screamed. So, well, I just ran out here."

"In a towel?"

She felt him nod.

Katara sat back and looked up at him. Her face was red too. "And what were you going to do if I was being attacked or something? Just fight naked?"

Zuko's eyes wouldn't meet hers. He shrugged. "If I had to, I guess. I didn't think that far ahead."

Katara laughed a little, wiping a sleeve across her wet cheeks. "I'll say."

Zuko scooted back off the bed, making sure to keep a tight hand on his towel. He was really embarrassed. Would he really have fought naked to protect her from someone? He knew the answer was yes and that made his embarrassment worse. But he had managed to get her to laugh, even if it were a feeble echo of what he knew she was capable of. That was worth his embarrassment, he figured.

"Well, it would have distracted the attacker at least," he said, trying to justify his actions.

She laughed, still not looking at him. "That's the truth," she said softly, still blushing.

After he'd gotten off the bed, he asked, "Will you be okay while I go finish?"

Katara bit her lip. "Actually, I really need to use the bathroom first. Is that okay?"

Zuko nodded and gestured a hand toward the open door.

She threw the blankets back and dangled her legs over the side of the bed. "Oh Spirits I hurt. I had no idea that getting to the spirit world and back would hurt me so bad," she groaned. She tried to stand and found that her knees were really weak.

Zuko sighed. He could see that she needed help and also that she wasn't about to ask for it. He rolled his eyes and went to her side of the bed. He put his free arm under hers and lifted, taking most of her weight. She blushed furiously, and he figured it was because he didn't have anything on but a towel. She mumbled some sort of thanks as he helped her to the bathroom.

"You don't need help in there, do you?" Zuko asked, trying to keep his voice level.

Katara laughed, embarrassed. "No, no. I think I got it from here. Thanks though," she said, closing the door behind her.

Zuko sighed and closed his eyes, running a hand through his tangled, wet hair. He went back behind his screen and grabbed a pair of light pants to put on. She would need help back to the bed and he wasn't doing that in just a towel again.

* * *

Katara spent the next few days being incredibly weak and she hated it. If she wasn't propped up in the big bed by herself, dozing, she was propped up on the big window seat, dozing. Zuko tried to help her as much as he could, but he still had duties to perform in the palace. All of his free moments were still spent helping her recover, however. He brought her meals, assisted her in getting to the bathroom, and slept with his arms around her at night. They both agreed that it was just in case she needed something. Although they knew it was a feeble excuse at best, neither seemed ready to admit that they enjoyed the comfort of being so close.

Zuko had inquired with the Fire Sages as to whether or not, hypothetically of course, it was normal to have physical weakness after traveling to the spirit world. The Sages told him that the few people who were able to travel back and forth would indeed be weakened for a while. The only person they were aware of who could do so with little repercussion would be the Avatar.

Zuko had also managed to sneak back out to see his uncle. Iroh admitted, sheepishly, that he should have warned Zuko that Katara might be weakened for a little while afterward. He hadn't been so sure she would be able to do it on the first try and he hadn't wanted to scare them away from trying. He assured his nephew that she would be fine before long. Iroh also told them that the Order of the White Lotus had plans to reveal the nature of the Binding Bands to the public soon, and warned them that he didn't know what chaos this would cause.

The Dragon of the West was holder of another secret as well. He told his nephew that within the Dragon Bone Catacombs the Fire Sages guarded a crate of Southern Waterbending scrolls, confiscated years ago when the raids had first begun. Zuko tucked this knowledge away in his brain, resolved to find them for Katara once she had her bending back.

Katara had been itching for days to try and bend now that one of her bands was out of commission. But she hadn't figured out how to get in the tub without Zuko's help, which wasn't happening. She decided to wait until she was feeling better.

One evening, after several days of being weak and tired, Zuko came in and found Katara sitting slumped on the floor, wrapped in a towel. She was dripping wet and sitting in a small puddle. Her head was tilted down, and she was breathing hard, but she was smiling.

"Katara, what is going on here?" He demanded, shutting the door tightly behind him. He blushed to his roots, realizing that she was in just a towel. _Great Agni, how do we keep ending up like this?_ he asked himself, trying to keep his eyes on anything but the waterbender on the floor near the bathroom door.

Katara looked up at him and grinned. "I did it Zuko! Watch," she said, a fierce light shining in her eyes. It was a look that he realized he had missed seeing.

She struggled up from the floor, one hand holding the towel tightly around her, the other held up with her palm to the floor. She shifted her free foot a little, making sure it was in the middle of her puddle. She then narrowed her eyes and wiggled her fingers. Zuko watched in astonishment as a tendril of water rose from the floor. She smirked at him and twisted her hand, sending the little whip over to pop him on the leg, just above his knee.

Zuko jumped. It hadn't hurt exactly, just stung a little. He knew she was more than capable of making him hurt, if she'd wanted to. He just stared at her wide-eyed for a moment as she let the water fall back to the floor.

He then closed the distance between them so fast, she gasped. He wrapped his arms around her and lifted her up off the floor, spinning her around. They were both laughing happily. Zuko was grinning so hard his cheeks hurt.

She did it!

In their merriment, Zuko slipped on the puddle and fell, landing on his rear with Katara in his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling herself against him. Zuko suddenly remembered that she wasn't wearing anything and he felt his face heating up again. Katara pressed her cheek against his neck and he could feel her happy tears.

She pulled back a little so that she could see his face. "Zuko, I can't thank you enough, I—"

But her words were cut off by his lips pressing against hers. Katara froze for a second, unsure of what to do. Had he meant to do that?

She felt his arms tighten around her and she didn't fight him. He melted her. She felt her eyes drift close as she pressed her lips against his in return. She felt his hand move up her neck, cradling the back of her head, fingers tangling in her damp hair. She leaned into him, her arms pulling his chest flush against hers again.

Zuko didn't know what he was doing, but he decided to stop thinking about it. It felt right, more right than anything had in a long time. He let his tongue sneak out and taste her lower lip. She sighed against his mouth and he deepened the kiss, with her permission.

Katara could feel the steam, literal steam, rising around them. What was she doing kissing Zuko? Zuko, of all people? And why oh why did it feel so good, so right? She could feel her heart in her throat, her pulse racing. That aching fire in her belly was back.

She pulled back from the kiss, having to relearn how to breathe. She'd never been kissed like that before. She stared into his eyes, breathing a little faster than she thought possible.

He blinked. He could feel the corners of his mouth turning up into a smile. "Katara, I—"

He stopped. He didn't know what to say.

Neither did she.

They sat this way for a moment, until Katara remembered she wasn't wearing any clothes. Her face suddenly flushed and she put her hands on his shoulders, trying to get her legs to cooperate in helping her stand. Zuko seemed to understand and took her hips in his hands, helping her to her feet.

Katara stumbled back toward the bathroom, mumbling something he didn't hear.

Zuko stayed sitting in the puddle of water, wondering if he'd just messed everything up.

* * *

A/N: I would greatly appreciate some input, thanks! And thanks to all the faithfuls who have been reviewing with each update! This one is for you guys!

Also, I now have set up a separate Facebook account for my writing! www . facebook . com/Lucawindmover (minus the spaces). This is a great way to keep informed about updates, brainstorming, ask questions and give feedback. For authors, it's a great way to bounce ideas and keep in touch. I hope you will all friend-request me. It's been a lot of fun using this account to keep up with writing!

Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender and I make no money from my stories. I just really enjoy tormenting the wonderful characters that have been provided for us. I also don't own the lyrics to "Closer to the Edge" by 30 Seconds to Mars, but it is a great song.


	18. Chapter 18, Part I

"Closer to the Edge"

By Lucawindmover

Chapter Eighteen, Part I

"Ran"

* * *

_Presently, in the library…_

"Ah, Zuko," Professor Zei said smiling as he looked up from his desk. "And I see you've brought Sokka with you, wonderful!"

Zuko smiled and nodded his head toward the professor. The man had asked him, at dinner the night before, if he would come by in the morning to talk about the making of the Binding Bands. Zuko had consented.

"Yes. You see, I know some about the making of the Binding Bands, but Sokka actually studied Smithing for a bit, so he can explain some parts better than I can," Zuko explained. He took a seat in the chair facing the professor's desk. Sokka was left to hunt down another chair amidst the stacks of parchment and books. He pulled one up to the right of Zuko and took a seat, not sparing the Fire Lord an annoyed look. Zuko politely ignored him.

"You studied Smithing?" the professor asked, very interested in what the man had to say.

Sokka brightened. He wasn't a bender, so he always felt that he didn't have as much to offer as the rest of his friends. When he'd been able to learn a few skills like Smithing and sword play, it made him feel as if he wasn't just the 'Idea Guy' anymore. He could hold his own.

"Yeah, I learned from Sifu Piando after I escaped from Boiling Rock," Sokka said, scooting toward the front of his chair. Zuko could tell from the light in the other man's eyes that this could be a very long story if he wasn't interrupted. The Fire Lord sighed. He really wanted to find Katara and talk to her about their situation. He wasn't terribly interested in sitting and listening to a story he'd heard before.

"Sokka," Zuko interrupted. "If you wanted to stay and tell the professor this story, that's fine with me. You probably know more about how the Binding Bands than I do. I'll, uh, just leave you to it, if you don't mind."

Sokka turned his gaze to the father of his niece and nephews. "What else is there to do around here?" he asked with a smirk. "I mean, you don't really read much, do you? What else would have you…racing…off…" he trailed to a stop as comprehension dawned on his face.

Zuko watched as the younger man's face melted from excited and playful to downright deadly. He had been on the receiving end of that look more times over the years than he cared to admit and he wasn't fond of having it focused on him now. Zuko gulped and withered under that glare, the glare of the protective older brother.

"Huh," Sokka said without taking his eyes off of Zuko. "I can only think of one thing that would make you run off at this hour of the morning. You know what Professor," Sokka said, turning to older man. "I think I'm going to be busy for a while today. I've just remembered something _very important_ that I need to discuss with my _sister_. Zuko here will just have to tell you what he knows all by himself."

With that, Sokka stood and briskly left the room.

Professor Zei stared after him in confusion. "Is he okay?" he asked Zuko.

Zuko looked as if he were going to be sick. Katara had specifically told him not to let her brother know that they had spent the night together. She had told him this as she gathered up her clothes and rushed out of the room earlier this morning. They hadn't had a chance to talk since then. Katara had been busy looking for Izumi and Zuko hadn't been able to pull her aside and talk about their situation.

And now he'd told the one person he hadn't meant to, and he didn't even recall telling him. Sometimes Sokka was too smart for his own good. Zuko was sure that anyone who thought the man was dumb just hadn't had the chance to get to know him. Sokka was one of the most intelligent people that Zuko knew. He was the 'Idea Guy' for a reason. Now that same intelligence was going to get him neck deep in trouble.

Zuko sighed. "Yeah, he'll be just fine. I'm not sure _I'll_ live to see another day though."

"What?" the professor exclaimed, genuinely worried. "Is something wrong?"

Zuko laughed and smiled weakly, shaking his head. "Well, a little. But don't worry about it. It's just some personal family business."

"You're sure?"

He nodded.

Professor Zei pursed his lips. "Well, if you're sure," he said. He spread his paper a little more flat across his desk. "Now, could you tell me more about how the Binding Bands were made?"

Zuko nodded. "Those Binding Bands were some of the worst things ever invented, as far as I'm concerned. And it isn't just that they took away someone's bending. I mean, that was bad enough. But when we found out how they took away someone's bending, well then the things were just plain evil."

Zuko looked up to see the man writing. He shook his head before continuing. "The first inkling we had was when Uncle told me to have Katara meditate to find out the secret. I wish that he had just told me what the secret was, so I could warn her. I mean, once she was able to meditate and get to the spirit world, she came back and fainted. She was so weak, not just in body, but emotionally as well."

"Emotionally?"

"Yeah," Zuko said. "She found out first hand that the Fire Nation had been murdering, slaughtering innocent non-bending children to tie their spirits to the Binding Bands. That's how the bands were able to keep someone from bending. The non-bending spirit canceled out a person's natural abilities."

"Children? Why children?"

Zuko shrugged. "I believe it was because they hadn't reached puberty yet. Their spirits were still developing and thus made them ideal candidates."

He watched as the professor shivered. Zuko felt like doing the same, but forced himself not to. "Katara and I found all of this out the first time she meditated. We didn't know who was actually making the bands and it took me quite a while to find out."

"How did you manage to obtain that information?"

Zuko smirked. "Well, it was through some less-than-official channels."

"Less-than-official?"

"Back when my uncle and I were fugitives of the Fire Nation, I had a blue mask that I would wear when I wanted to go out and conduct my business. When I didn't want anyone to know who I was, that is. After a few of my more notorious exploits, I managed to pick up the name 'The Blue Spirit,' although I thought it was ridiculous."

Professor Zei grinned from ear to ear. "_You_ were the Blue Spirit? Fascinating!"

Zuko laughed. "You've heard of him then?"

"Of course I have. Is it true you once took out a hundred men, single-handed?"

Zuko shook his head and laughed. "No, not at all. As I remember it was about half that many, and I had the Avatar's help. And you know, I don't even think anyone was injured," he said, remembering the time he'd helped Aang escape the Admiral's grasp. He figured that was about the time he'd gotten the nickname.

The professor just clucked his tongue, still smiling. He jotted another few lines down on his sheet of parchment. "Ah, that just goes to show you what word of mouth can do to a story. All the more reason to write these things down." After a moment, he gestured for the Fire Lord to continue his story.

"Well, close to the time of the fall of Ba Sing Se, I got rid of my original Blue Spirit mask. Uncle had convinced me to move on from that phase in my life," Zuko said, reflecting. "But later it turned out that I needed the secrecy that the mask had afforded me. So I had another made. It wasn't exactly like the first, but close enough."

He waited for a moment while the professor caught up. "I finally found the information that I needed, and don't even bother asking because I won't tell you who from," Zuko said, noting the look the professor had given him. "There was a secret factory, back in the hill country, which specialized in 'war materials,' they claimed. It had taken me a couple of weeks to get the information, but as soon as I had it, I wanted to check it out."

"Well certainly. And did you?"

Zuko sighed. "I had one problem. Katara. She wanted to come with me."

"And you were afraid she would get caught?"

He shook his head. "No, I'd seen Katara be stealthy. I didn't worry about that. I worried that we would get there and she would see the children and want to free them all."

Professor Zei nodded. "That was a valid concern, and an admirable goal. What did you end up doing?"

Zuko gestured with his hands. "Well, I had to take her. I mean, she would have tried to sneak out after me anyway and then we might have _both_ been caught. Besides, she and I had been on awkward terms for a few weeks, so I sort of wanted to make it up to her."

"You had a fight?"

Zuko laughed. "Well, not exactly. It was a little complicated, we'll just leave it at that."

The professor had a knowing smile, but didn't pursue him on that topic. He asked Zuko to continue his story, which he did.

* * *

_Fifteen years previously, in and near the Fire Nation Capital…_

Zuko had finally relented. She was going too. He hadn't really fought her on the issue like she figured he would. Then she thought about what had occurred between them a couple of weeks earlier, and she knew the reason he was letting her go. He was trying to make things right between them again. While she appreciated the gesture, she wasn't sure it would work.

After they'd had their kiss, Katara had run off to the bathroom to get dressed and Zuko had cleaned up the water in the bedroom. By the time Katara came out, Zuko was dressed for bed and propped up against his pillows. He'd had his arms across his stomach and his eyes to the side, refusing to make contact with hers.

Katara had been in turmoil. Once the heat of the moment had dissipated, she'd realized her mistake. That's how she thought of her kiss with Zuko, her mistake. She had cried in the bathroom, thinking of Aang and wondering if he would have been mad. If he'd been alive, she'd never have been in this situation. But if he'd been able to know, would he have been angry? Would he have been happy to see her moving on with her life and trying to find some happiness?

Because there in the bathroom, while she secured her sleeping shirt, she realized that there was a chance that she could be happy with Zuko. She found that she genuinely cared about him, which surprised her. He was infuriating at times, quick to temper, and in the past had a questionable sense of wrong and right. But she could see him changing before her eyes. He must have had some kind of revelation because lately he seemed to share her sense of good and evil. And it seemed he'd chosen the side of good. She had judged him harshly at first, and for good reason, but he'd done nothing but try to make up for his misdeeds ever since. She had to give him credit for trying.

This only made her more conflicted. She left the bathroom that night with the decision made that she would not make a decision. She didn't want to feel like she was choosing between her future happiness and the memory of her dearly beloved friend. She felt like she couldn't have both and she wasn't ready to choose.

Zuko hadn't pressed her, for which she was thankful. They had gone back to sleeping on their separate sides of the bed, even though the bed now seemed so much smaller and colder than it had before. He hadn't touched her since, not even the slightest brush of a hand. She found she missed all of their gentle touches, all of their casual affections.

Zuko had his own reasons for thinking the kiss was a mistake. Once she'd left for the bathroom and he'd had a chance to think it over, he felt so ashamed of himself. He could hear her crying in the bathroom, even though he could tell she was trying to be quiet. When she'd come back to bed with her eyes red, he knew he was right in his thinking. She had even tried to sleep on the far edge of the bed, rather than in his arms, as she had done for several nights in a row before then.

He was afraid and ashamed. He felt he had forced his kiss on her without her wanting it. He felt as if he were as deplorable as the man who had attacked her, taking something from her without her permission. Surely that was how she saw him in her own eyes. That _had_ to be the reason she put so much space between them. He was so angry, angry with himself. He vowed he would never initiate another touch between them, no matter how casual. No more hugging. No more sleeping wrapped in each other's arms. No more getting frustrated with her and grabbing her by the wrist. He wouldn't do a single thing without her asking.

And he was sure she wouldn't ask.

So two weeks had crawled by in tension. Katara has spent all of her free time trying to meditate. For whatever reason, she couldn't get her mind to focus as it had that first time. She spent hours upon hours sitting on the floor, meditating. Zuko had been afraid of taking her back to his mother's garden after what happened the first time. So instead, she'd meditated in several different locations in the room. She tried just in the middle of the room with no luck. She had tried in bed, in the bathtub full of water, even in the window seat at night with the moon in plain sight. Nothing had been able to work for her so far.

So on the night that Zuko came in with news that he'd located the 'war materials' factory, Katara was ready and raring to go. She was frustrated with meditating, frustrated with Zuko's stony silence toward her, frustrated with herself with not coming clean and telling him how she felt. She was so ready to be doing something, anything to make herself feel like she was accomplishing a task.

"What if it takes more than one night?" she asked him as she tied the laces on her dark boots. They were pretty new. She was sure he'd bought them for her for this sort of occasion. She was still a little embarrassed that he would be buying her anything, but she was tired of arguing with him about it. It just made them both annoyed and didn't change anything anyway.

Zuko paused in his pacing. "That's a good point. I hadn't thought about that."

"We could leave a note, perhaps? You could say we're, I don't know, taking a trip?" she suggested. She sat up straight and started pulling her voluminous hair back into a tight braid. She would want it out of the way. "I mean, the Prince is allowed to do that, right?"

He sighed. "Well, yeah. But usually you have to ask first. And there's a procession and guards and servants. It's usually a big deal."

Katara shrugged. "Just write a note. Tell them that you were tired of all the royalty mumbo-jumbo and you needed a break. We can't possibly be gone for more than a couple of nights anyway. Would they really get so mad?"

Zuko thought about it for a moment. "No, I guess not. I mean, it'll be easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission."

Katara stood with a smile. "Now there's the right attitude."

He begrudgingly smiled as well, tossing her an extra cloak. "You know, if we're going to be planning on being gone a couple of nights, we might need supplies."

The waterbender put a finger to her lips as she thought about it. "Let's see. We can either bring some stuff and camp, which runs the risk of us getting caught because we have things to carry and we're out in the open. Or we can stay in an inn or something, and run the risk of someone recognizing us. Which is something I'm sure you have enough money to bribe our way out of. Which situation do you like better?"

Zuko grumbled under his breath that he didn't really like either situation and that he should really be making this trip by himself, but eventually sighed. "You're right again, of course. It would be easier to take enough coin to buy our way out of an awkward situation, rather than try to be stealthy with packs on."

Katara could tell that he didn't like her being right. He was extra grumpy as he set about writing a letter to his regent. While he did this, Katara finished getting ready by adding a black scarf to her ensemble, to hide her face, as well as a few wrist wraps to help keep her bands from jingling and giving them away.

By the time she was finished, Zuko was crumpling up a second sheet of paper. Katara rolled her eyes. "Why are you having such a hard time over there?"

Zuko threw his hands up in the air. "Because! I can't figure out what to say about _why_ we've left so abruptly."

Katara rolled her eyes and moved closer to the desk, looking over his shoulder at what he had already written. She shifted over to his right side and had a thought, then blushed. Her idea would play on the rumor that they had a physical relationship. She didn't know what he would think of her idea, but she figured it was worth a shot.

"Zuko, tell him we went to a midwife to get herbs, and that we wanted to do it secretly," she said softly. She could feel her face on fire. She shifted a little, uncomfortable with the way he was staring.

Her words took a moment to process. His eyes spun to hers, flicked to her still-flat stomach, then back to her face. "Wait. You're not…you're _not_…are you?" he sputtered, turning a shade of red that matched her own. He could feel his heart drop down to his stomach.

"What?" Katara exclaimed, jumping back a pace. "What? No! No, of course not! We're just telling them that because it would explain everything," She said, trailing off a little at the end.

Zuko gulped. "But you're not though, right?"

When Zuko had first resolved to take responsibility for her attacker's actions, an unwanted pregnancy hadn't even crossed his mind. Now that it had, he was determined to do whatever it was that made Katara happy, no matter how terrified he was. This was _her_ body after all. But he fervently hoped a child wasn't in the forecast. That was a situation he was totally unprepared to handle.

Katara crossed her arms across her stomach, glaring at him. "No Zuko, I'm not," she said with a little more confidence than she felt. She was pretty sure she wasn't but it wouldn't hurt to visit a midwife and find out for certain. Her moonflow had been a little off. There were plenty of reasons that might be the case, but it would be better to know for sure.

"Look," she said. "While we're gone looking for this factory, we'll just stop at a midwife's shop, explain what we need, and have her make sure that I'm not, uh, well. You know," She paused, turning her eyes away. "And when I'm_ not_ we'll just get the herbs to have on hand to prove we saw a midwife."

Zuko had to admit, the plan was pretty solid. He nodded and finished his letter, including the information Katara had suggested. Within fifteen minutes, they were on their way.

Zuko, dressed as the Blue Spirit, and Katara in her black attire, sped through the darkened streets and alleyways of the capital city. It had been nearly an hour of dodging and weaving before they came to a wall they had to scale. The task was simple enough, using the grapple and rope Zuko had brought for just that purpose. He made sure to conceal them in a nearby tree to use on their return trip, before they started off into the wilderness.

The pair darted through the woods a ways, not wanting to travel on the road too close to the city. Katara was impressed as she followed behind Zuko. He was quick and light on his feet, dodging trees and bushes, jumping roots and scrub. He was agile, his lithe muscles compensating for each twist and turn he had to make. It was almost as if he flowed across the landscape like water. Katara noticed that her heart was beating a little faster, and she wasn't sure if it was from running through the woods or watching Zuko run through the woods. She was having a very hard time keeping pace with him. Finally, after more than an hour of running, she shouted at him to stop.

She couldn't run any more, not at this pace. She hadn't had any serious exercise in more than a month and she was feeling the effect of that. Her muscles ached already and she was having a hard time catching her breath. She stopped and leaned forward, her hands on her knees as she tried to slow her breathing.

Zuko pulled off his mask. He let it fall behind his head, hanging around his neck by a thin piece of cord. "You can't just stop, you'll cramp up. Come on, keep walking at least," he said, motioning for her to continue following him.

She groaned but complied, pulling the black scarf down off of her face. Just having that out of the way made a huge difference. She caught up with him, walking beside him instead of behind. They had finally come back out of the woods near the road. They were far enough from the city now that traveling on the road shouldn't draw any attention to them.

When Katara's breathing was back to normal, she asked, "How much farther do we have to go?"

"Not much farther now," Zuko answered as they crested a hill. He pointed down into a valley toward a quiet little slumbering town. "There's where we'll find a place to stay. The factory is in in the hills, not far on the other side."

He left out the part about seeing a midwife, but the thought hung heavily in the air. It was understood between the two of them that it just wasn't something they wanted to talk about.

Katara took a deep breath and rolled her shoulders a little, trying to ease the tension in her body. She was already sore all over and knew she would be worse for wear in the morning. She yawned and looked up at the moon. It was only about a week from being full. Just being out underneath it, instead of seeing it through a window, made her feel more alive.

Zuko watched her out of the corner of his good eye. He couldn't help the pang in his heart at seeing her so tranquil. She was looking up at the night sky in a somber yet peaceful sort of way.

"Zuko?"

He turned his head toward her.

"I was wondering something," she started, looking down at her fingers. Zuko frowned. It was never good when she did that.

"What?" he asked, not wanting to beat around the bush.

She didn't meet his eyes. "Aren't you afraid that I might try to escape? I mean, you haven't once warned me not to."

Whatever he'd been expecting, it wasn't that. He turned his eyes forward to the road, contemplating her question. She was right. He hadn't even thought about the idea of her escaping. He'd just assumed that they'd come to an understanding. But now she knew how to undo her bonds, even if she was having some trouble with it. She was also able to do some mild waterbending, as long as her free foot was in the water she was trying to bend. In short, she wasn't as helpless as she had been a few weeks ago. He wasn't sure why he hadn't thought about this sooner.

Before he could answer, Katara interrupted his thoughts. "Well, whatever your reason was, I guess I just want to thank you."

Now that really confused him. He couldn't help how his eyes narrowed as he looked at her. "Thank me? For what?"

Katara shrugged. "For not threatening me. I guess, thank you for treating me like a person, not a captive."

Zuko sighed. "I've always tried to treat you like a person, you know. Even when we have to pretend otherwise."

"I know. And you're better at it now than you used to be, so I just wanted to say thanks."

It took a moment for her words to sink in to his brain. "Hey!" he said indignantly.

Katara laughed.

* * *

After another couple of hours of walking, the pair found themselves in the middle of the sleepy town. The first inn they came to, The Tiger Lilly, still had a lamp lit over the door. They entered to find a woman dozing by the counter of the bar. The large fireplace along one wall still had the embers of a fire glowing, lighting the room lowly. Zuko announced their presence with a clearing of his throat.

The middle-aged woman stirred. Upon seeing that she had customers, she jumped up and straightened her apron, approaching them on tired feet. "Hello travelers. Welcome to The Tiger Lilly. What can I do for you tonight?"

Zuko pulled his coin purse out of the folds of his cloak. "We need a room for tonight and tomorrow night," he said.

"I see," the woman said with a smile. "Eloped, did you?"

Zuko, too flustered to say a word, let Katara take the lead.

She moved up beside him and wrapped an arm through his. His confused eyes flickered toward hers as she spoke to the woman. "Yes, that's right. We're newly married." She turned her face toward his, nudging him with her elbow. She wanted him to play along. "Isn't that right, uh, Lee?"

Zuko couldn't help but smirk at the name he'd used in hiding before. He turned his eyes back to the woman. "That's right. So we need some privacy, and uh, your discretion. If you know what I mean."

The woman winked at them. "Oh, I know what you mean. You don't want her father to find you. Well, you'll have no problem here."

The innkeeper turned and motioned for them to follow her up the staircase to their left. Once her back was turned, Katara pulled her arm free. Zuko felt his heart fall but tried to keep his face emotionless. It was just an act anyway, a ruse to make sure they weren't recognized. Playing a young eloping couple would surely be the way to do that. He was impressed at Katara's quick thinking.

The woman showed them to a room at the end of a hallway. The room itself wasn't bad, for a small-town inn, but the bed was small and probably a little dusty. There was no bathroom, only a wash stand in the corner. The window had a nice view of the town, however, and opened directly above the kitchen roof. That would be convenient for sneaking out to investigate the factory.

Katara let Zuko do the money part while she moved over to the bed to shake out the sheets. When he came back, she was sitting on the edge of the bed, untying her shoes.

"Are you too tired to go on to the factory tonight?" he asked, taking in her actions.

She nodded, kicking her shoes off and leaning back on her hands. "Yeah. Sorry about that. It's just that I haven't had that much exercise in a long time."

Zuko sighed. He hadn't thought of that. He resolved to make sure they started sparring together or something when they got back to the palace. She would need to stay in good shape if she were going to keep up with him. He could teach her some basic hand-to-hand fighting, since she couldn't openly waterbend.

Katara continued to pull off articles of clothing: wrist wraps, scarf, cloak, and toss them all on the floor near her shoes.

"If you wouldn't mind giving me the pillow, I'll sleep on the floor," Zuko offered, removing his boots and cloak as well. He wrapped his mask in the cloak and dropped it on their growing pile of discarded clothing.

Katara's brow pinched in confusion. "Why do you want the floor? There's room up here," she said. As if to illustrate, she crawled onto the bed and settled herself against the wall. She patted the bed next to her.

"You're sure?" he asked. She nodded. He wasn't sure she'd want him to sleep so close, not after what had happened. He was suddenly nervous. He started to untie the fastenings on his shirt but then changed his mind. He was pretty sure she would object to that. He would be warm but it wouldn't be the first time.

Zuko sat on the edge of the bed for a moment, thinking. Before he could lay down, Katara interrupted his thoughts.

"Zuko?"

He looked back at her over his shoulder. "Yeah?"

"You're not taking your shirt off? You'll be hot."

Zuko shrugged. "I didn't want to make you uncomfortable."

Katara groaned and smacked her hand to her forehead.

"What?" he asked, turning around enough to face her.

"You! You've been doing this ever since, well, for weeks now. You trying to make me comfortable has been making me really _un_comfortable. You've been acting all weird!" Katara said, exasperated.

"Oh," he replied. He wasn't sure how he was supposed to respond to that. But a tiny little flame of hope rose in his chest. Hope that she wanted things to go back to the way they were…before.

He shrugged out of his shirt and tossed it on their pile of clothes. He laid himself down beside her, his right arm pressed against her left one. They were both laying on their backs, sharing the one pillow. The bed was small, put perfectly large enough had they actually been the newly married couple they were pretending to be. That thought made him blush and he was annoyed that the moonlight streamed in their window so well. It made it too easy to see.

They stayed this way for a while, neither being able to fall asleep and neither knowing what to say, either.

Finally, Katara broke the silence. "Zuko?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you regret it?"

She didn't even have to specify what it was he would be regretful of. The question had been hanging between them for weeks now. He sighed. "Yes."

Katara felt her heart sink. Of course he regretted it. How could he not? She certainly hadn't given him any reason not to feel regret. In fact, she hadn't given him any reason to feel anything. She hadn't even realized how devastated his answer would make her feel. So, she realized, she had some sort of feelings for him after all. She hadn't been entirely sure before now.

"I'm sorry," he said, softly. He refused to meet her questioning eyes and continued to stare at the ceiling.

"Why?"

Zuko frowned. "Why am I sorry or why do I regret it?" he asked.

"Both really, I guess."

Zuko pursed his lips and thought about how to phrase his answer. "I made you cry, Katara. I didn't want to be like him. I didn't want to be a monster. But I was. And I took that kiss from you without asking, just like he did."

Weeks of frustration finally got the best of her. Zuko was very surprised when she sat up and pushed him right off the side of the bed. He hit the floor in a heap. He jumped to his feet to glower at her only to be met with furious eyes.

"How could you compare yourself to him! How? That is not _fair_. Don't you _dare_ do it!" she shouted at him, not caring that she might be waking up the other inn patrons. Her hands were balled into such tight fists that she could feel her fingernails starting to dig into her palms.

Zuko stumbled back a step, unprepared for her anger. "What?" he stuttered uselessly.

Katara gestured toward him with her hands. "Zuko, I _wanted_ you to kiss me, okay?"

Both their eyes widened at her admission, but Katara kept her face resolute. She was going to have to ignore how her cheeks flared with embarrassment. How could he have thought that about himself? How could she have let him?

Zuko crossed his arms and lowered his eyes. "You're just saying that to smooth things over, aren't you?" he asked quietly.

Katara's shoulders slumped. "No Zuko, I'm not. But I'm just, conflicted about things, okay?"

He didn't respond and he didn't look at her.

"Would you come back to bed?" she finally asked.

At this he smirked. "You know, you're the one who pushed me out of it to start with."

Katara grinned sheepishly. "Yeah, well, I'm inviting you back."

Zuko shook his head and resumed his awkward place next to her. After a few moments, he asked, "What are you conflicted about?"

Katara sighed. She wasn't sure how to explain it to him. "I guess, sometimes I feel like I'm dishonoring Aang's memory. I mean, I've had time to know that there is good in you. No that's not right," she rolled on her side, facing him. "Zuko, you _are_ good. You've had time to realize that and I've had a chance to see it. I know it now, and you do too, but Aang never got to see that. He wouldn't have known. And I don't know how he would have felt about me being, well, friends with you. Being your ally."

Zuko turned his head to face hers, thinking about what she had just said. It seemed she wasn't conflicted about how she felt about him. She was conflicted about how her best friend would have felt about it. The tiny flame of hope inside him flared a little higher.

"You know, Aang thought that we could have been friends once," Zuko replied.

Katara's confusion was evident. "What? When?"

Zuko turned to look back at the ceiling and explained how he had helped Aang escape from Zhao. How Aang had saved him in return. Katara listened, speechless, recalling how Aang had seemed a little different after she and Sokka had been sick. So that had been the reason.

It was quiet again for a while.

"Right now, I still feel like I have to choose between my memories of Aang, and my possible happiness with you," Katara said, blushing to her roots. "So, I'm still a little too conflicted for us to be, uh, kissing and such."

Zuko blushed too, just hearing how hard it was for her to admit that. He looked over and felt his heart turn over in his chest. All this hope was more than he was prepared for. She thought she could be happy with him?

"But," she said, not meeting his eyes. "I do miss the uh, comfortable sleeping."

Zuko grinned, taking her meaning. He rolled on his side, facing her, and pulled her to his chest. They were both stiff for a moment, but she eventually relaxed into him and he sighed. She reached up and pecked a small kiss on his scarred cheek before rolling to face away from him. He closed the distance and wrapped his arm around her waist, nestling his face into her hair and sighing with contentment. He placed a warm, tender kiss on the back of her neck and settled down to sleep.

* * *

A/N: So I had to split this chapter into two parts. As you can see, this one is a monster and was still only about half finished. I have several more scenes to write, so I decided to split it up. It had been too long since I last posted. I'll get working on the second half. Meanwhile, some encouraging reviews wouldn't hurt ;D

Also, I now have set up a separate Facebook account for my writing! www . facebook . com/Lucawindmover (minus the spaces). This is a great way to keep informed about updates, brainstorming, ask questions and give feedback. For authors, it's a great way to bounce ideas and keep in touch. I hope you will all friend-request me. It's been a lot of fun using this account to keep up with writing!

Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender and I make no money from my stories. I just really enjoy tormenting the wonderful characters that have been provided for us. I also don't own the lyrics to "Closer to the Edge" by 30 Seconds to Mars, but it is a great song.


	19. Chapter 18, Part II

"Closer to the Edge"

By Lucawindmover

Chapter 18 Part II

"Ran"

* * *

_Fifteen years previously, in a little town north of the Fire Nation Capital…_

Katara yawned and stretched her arms over her head. She knew it was at least an hour past dawn, which meant she would have the bed to herself. She peeked her eyes open and glanced behind her to be sure, but she was right. She rolled on her back with a contented sigh and stretched her legs. They were really sore. She had known they would be after all the running the night before. She sincerely hoped Zuko wouldn't need them to run so much tonight. She would do it if she had to, and without complaint, but it wouldn't be easy.

Thinking of Zuko made her groan and throw her hands over her face.

She had slept better last night than she had in weeks, even being in a strange bed in an unfamiliar location. It didn't matter that she was sore, or that they were on a secret mission, or that they might have palace guards hot on their tales. It didn't matter that she was afraid that she might be pregnant. She still had managed to sleep like the dead she knew the reason why.

Just having Zuko at her back was the reason. He didn't have to hold her all night. In fact, they both tended to move around a bit in their sleep so they never seemed to stay in any position for long. But it didn't matter. Whether he had his arms around her, his back pressed to hers, her cheek resting on his shoulder, or just her hand against his arm…it made her sleep better. Not having to spend half the night avoiding his touch made her relax. She hadn't realized just how badly she'd been sleeping until she woke this morning, refreshed.

And this frustrated her to no end.

She was sending him mixed messages, she knew that. And she hated it, but she didn't know what else to do. She told him that she was conflicted, but also that she thought of him as a friend and an ally. She told him that she wasn't ready for a physical relationship, but then she wanted to sleep wrapped in his arms. She didn't like the situation one bit. She had far too many other things to worry about right now. She needed to worry about the midwife, about the children in the factory, about the poor spirits that were still attached to her bands. She needed to think of a plan to overthrow the evil Fire Lord, free Toph, and find her brother.

So why was this issue of a relationship with Zuko still at the forefront of her mind?

She didn't understand it. Shaking her head, she decided to get up. She figured Zuko was downstairs having breakfast, since he was nowhere to be seen. Katara slipped her shoes on, as well as her wrist wraps and black, silky scarf. She didn't want to have to wear them, but if they were pretending to be newly-weds, it wouldn't do for someone to see her Binding Bands and realize that she was technically a slave. She tried to make the scarf look fashionable, but wasn't sure she succeeded. To her it still looked as if she was trying to hide something. But there was nothing she could do about it and she just left it as it was before heading downstairs to find Zuko.

* * *

"Zuko, are you sure you have to come for this?" Katara asked, stopping at the door to the midwife's shop. She had spent the better part of breakfast trying to talk him out of joining her for the trip to the midwife. This was something she really wanted to do alone. She didn't want him hovering.

Zuko rolled his eyes. Again. How many times was he going to have to go through this? "Look, I told you already. I'm the one doing the paying, so I have a right to be here. Besides, I have a vested interest in the outcome."

Katara frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Well, first of all, what if you were to, say, magically disappear?" Zuko asked, emphasizing his statement by holding up his hands and wiggling his fingers.

Katara put her hands on her hips, her temper rising. "Oh, so _now_ you're worried about me escaping? Not while we're running at a sprint through the woods in the middle of the night. Just while we're waiting to hear the results of the midwife's tests?"

"Would you lower your voice?" Zuko said, taking a step closer to her. He glanced around to see a few people milling around nearby. He didn't want them to overhear their argument. He grabbed her by the upper arm and pulled her around the side of the building where they could be alone. Katara jerked her arm out of his grasp, glaring at him.

"Look," he said, taking a step back. He leaned against the wall and folded his arms across his chest. "I understand that this whole situation is making you nervous and scared, but you don't have to take that out on me."

Katara huffed. "I'm _not_ scared."

Zuko raised his good eyebrow. She could almost see the smirk trying to cross his features.

"Fine!" she shouted, throwing her hands in the air. "Fine! You caught me. I _am_ scared. But I have a good reason for that, you know."

Zuko shrugged. He could feel his stomach drop down to his feet. "I never said you didn't."

Katara took a deep breath and just stared at him.

"How long have you been worrying about this?" he asked, his tone a little softer than it had been.

She shrugged. "Honestly, I knew there was a possibility right from the moment it happened," she said. She didn't have to explain what she meant. Her shoulders drooped a little and she turned her gaze to the side. "But I guess I've been actually concerned about it for a couple of weeks now."

"Are you having, uh," Zuko seemed to stumble over his words a little. "Well, symptoms, I guess?"

Katara blushed. "Only one," she held up a hand quickly when she saw that he was about to ask her something. "No, I'm not telling you what. It's personal and we are _so_ not going there, okay?"

Zuko didn't press, but he wanted to. If she were having symptoms, why hadn't she told him? Why hadn't she let him know that there was a possible child in this situation now? And what would they do if there was? Would she want to keep the baby? It was early enough now that the herbs they had come to get would take care of the issue, if that was her wish. But if she wanted to keep the child she would be putting them all at risk of an early grave. He was resolved to find a way to do whatever it was she wanted to do. But it wouldn't be easy, no matter which conclusion she came to. Zuko's head was too full of thoughts. He shook it and sighed.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Katara pursed her lips. Why hadn't she told him? The one symptom she'd been having was one she really hadn't wanted to talk to him about. There was no way she was going to be discussing her moonflow with him. And besides, there were plenty of reasons why her moonflow might be disrupted. She'd been through a terrible ordeal and had nothing but stress since. Gran-gran had always told her that stress and worry could make her moonflow late, or even not come at all. This had been her mantra over the last few weeks. How could she tell him that?

"I was embarrassed, okay? Just like I'm embarrassed for you to come in there with me," she said, her cheeks bright red.

Zuko frowned. This situation was hard enough on the waterbender without forcing unnecessary embarrassment on top of it. "Look, I'll just stay by the door, okay? When you need to pay the woman, just come out and get me," he said, watching as her eyes turned on him with relief. "Would that be better?"

She nodded. Her stomach turned over with nerves. She was going to have to go in there now.

* * *

Katara sighed with relief as she pulled the last of her clothes back on. The worst of the tests were finished and now all she had to do was wait. She was in a small room in the back of the shop. The midwife had told her this was a birthing room, but that she also used it to do the pregnancy testing. She had examined all of Katara's most private areas, which had frightened and embarrassed the waterbender, and then collect a sample of her urine. The woman had explained why each of these tests were necessary, though no amount of explanation made Katara feel better about it.

_At least it's over now_, she thought to herself as she tied the laces on her boots. She sat back on the narrow bench along the back wall and waited to find out the results.

When the woman came back in, Katara's heart lurched.

"Well," the midwife, Neila Wang, said. "You are not carrying a child."

Katara felt her breath leave her in one huge rush.

No child.

"I see that you were very worried," Neila said. She pulled a chair out in front of Katara and took a seat. "That's a natural reaction. You are young yet to be a mother, and the child would have been conceived by terrible means."

Katara nodded numbly. She had explained her ordeal to the woman, answering questions as best as she could. She hadn't actually spoken to anyone about what had happened. She hadn't needed to tell Zuko. He already knew. It had been hard at first, talking about what had occurred. But as she continued to tell the story, she felt that an unknown weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She hadn't known she needed to talk about it, but now that she had, she felt better for it.

The waterbender cleared her throat. "Do you have any idea why my moonflow is so off?" she asked, flushing lightly. She didn't like talking about this with anyone other than her Gran-gran.

The woman nodded. "I believe it's the Binding Bands," she stated. She'd known from the beginning that Katara was a slave. There is nowhere to hide the bands when a person is naked. "They disrupt the natural flow of a person's body. Not only will you no longer have moonflow while you are bound, but I believe it may be impossible to conceive children while you are bound."

Katara's eyes widened. If the woman believed that, why had she subjected Katara such humiliating tests?

Neila seemed to read her thoughts. "The moonflow absence has been documented by many women at this point, but the inability to conceive is only a hypothesis of mine. It has yet to be proven."

The girl nodded. "Well, okay then. I suppose I just need my herbs then and we'll be on our way."

"I'm going to include something else for you, at a small price," the woman said. She handed Katara two pouches of herbs. "In the black pouch are the herbs you requested. But in this red pouch are herbs to help you determine on your own if you need the black pouch."

"What do I do with them?" Katara asked.

"Brew them into a tea and drink two cups. The next time you urinate, check to see the color. If it is normal, you are not with child. If the color is green, you are pregnant."

Katara nodded. She really wanted to ask how that worked, but she wanted to tell Zuko the good news a little more. She figured she could find her answers in a scroll in the Palace Library if she really needed to know. She politely thanked the woman for all of her help. Zuko had already paid the fees at the beginning of the visit, and had stayed outside just as he had promised.

When she walked through the outer door, he grabbed her by the arm and pulled her into the alley again.

Katara jerked her arm out of his grasp again, rubbing a hand over the place where his fingers had pressed into her flesh. She shot him an angry frown. "You have really got to stop doing that."

Zuko was pacing and rubbing his hands together. "Sorry, okay? Sorry. I'm just, well," he stopped and took a deep breath. "I'm a little wound up. What were the results?"

Katara relaxed and smiled, a genuinely happy smile. "No child."

"No child?" Zuko repeated, as if he were afraid he'd heard wrong. Could his fortunes have finally worked a miracle in his favor for once?

She nodded.

A relieved grin finally crossed Zuko's face. He couldn't help himself as he grabbed her around the waist, lifting her in the air and turning in circles. Katara laughed, playfully hitting him on the shoulders and joking that he needed to put her down.

He put her on her feet and grinned, his hands still on her waist. Katara looked up at him with her blue eyes sparkling. She hadn't seen him so genuinely happy before. She found that she really liked it, and wondered what life might have been like for him if he hadn't grown up in the terrible Fire Nation Palace. Her eyes flickered to his lips, just a short distance from hers. Her breath hitched in her throat as she saw that his eyes were doing the same.

She put a hand on his chest and pushed against him a little. "Lunch in the marketplace?" Katara asked, taking a step back and breaking the moment. She didn't trust herself standing so close to him, not with the joy they were both feeling. The last time that had happened, kissing had also happened.

Zuko couldn't quite squash the disappointment he felt as she changed the subject. He had really wanted to feel his lips against hers. He had wanted to hold her close to him and relish the fact that they had finally, for once, had good news. But she wasn't ready for that, or didn't want it, and he was going to respect it even though it made his heart ache.

He smirked. "You mean you don't want to go back to the inn for lunch?"

Katara laughed. Zuko offered her his arm and she took it, wrapping her right arm through his left and letting him guide her back out to the street. "Are you kidding?" she said with a grin. "That woman overcooked the eggs and undercooked the rice at breakfast. I haven't had food that poorly prepared since I was travelling with my brother."

Zuko chuckled. The pair made their way through the teeming marketplace with little conversation. Zuko pointed to a fruit stand and Katara nodded.

After procuring a large bowl of cut fruit, Katara pointed to a shady spot of grass just outside of the bustling market area. They settled back against a large tree, each picking their favorite pieces out of the bowl.

Katara was quiet. Too quiet. Zuko had just started to wonder what was bothering her when she broke the silence. "Zuko?"

"Hmm?" he responded around a mouthful of mango.

Katara bit her lip and paused. "Is there some way to check on my brother? To maybe, I don't know, see how he's holding up?"

Zuko thought this over as he finished chewing. "I can do an official inquiry. That's about the only way to get information from Boiling Rock."

"You would do that for me?" she asked, unable to meet his eyes.

Zuko shrugged. "If you want me to, I will."

She sighed. "I really do. I need to know if he's okay."

"Well, consider it done. But I warn you, we may not get a response right away. Anything official seems to take forever to get through," he said. He offered her more fruit from the bowl and Katara took a chunk of pineapple.

"Thanks," she said quietly.

He shook his head. "Don't thank me yet."

It was quiet for another few minutes as they finished their lunch. They each had a lot on their minds as they watched people move to and fro in the market. Children ran and played, laughing merrily as they pushed and bumped through the adults. An old woman began to scold them, but the children paid no mind, darting away before she could finish. Katara laughed lightly as the old woman grabbed the nearest person, a very confused young man, and began to lecture him instead.

Suddenly, Katara leapt to her feet, grabbing Zuko by the wrist and hauling him to standing. Before he had a chance to shout his protest she pushed him back behind the tree.

Her chest was heaving and her eyes were wide as she peaked around the edge of the tree and quickly jerked her head back.

"What is it?" Zuko asked in a loud whisper.

"Palace guards are out there, questioning people," she said through clenched teeth.

Zuko felt his face harden. He hadn't seen them. He leaned his head out to check and there they were, sure enough. Two men in Fire Nation Palace uniforms were questioning the man who had sold them the fruit. Luckily, the man had been busy all day and was gesturing to say he had no idea. Zuko pulled his head back around the tree and sighed.

There were only two reasons why the place guards would be involved. Either his father had received word from the regent and decided he was angry with them, sending out a force to collect them and bring them back to the palace. Or Azula had found the letter first and decided to act before the knowledge was brought to the attention of the Fire Lord, giving her the ability to spin any sort of lie she wanted to cause them trouble.

Zuko figured the latter was the more probable of the two options.

"What do we do?" Katara hissed. She stared at him with wide eyes, waiting for him to have an idea.

"We sneak back to the inn," he said, running a hand through his tousled hair. "And I guess we wait it out. I'm sure we'll have to bribe the innkeeper, but it'll keep us out of sight until dark."

Katara nodded and followed his lead through the woods along the backside of the market area. They kept out of sight, dodging behind bushes and the backs of buildings, using alleyways and deserted streets on their way back to the inn. Instead of being seen going through the front door, they came in through the kitchen door, frightening the innkeeper and the cook in their hurry. Zuko threw a ridiculous about of money at the middle aged woman in exchange for her promise of silence before whisking Katara back up to their room.

* * *

They had been really lucky. About fifteen minutes after they came storming back to the inn, the two guards had come in, asking questions. As agreed, the innkeeper told the men that two people fitting their descriptions had spent the previous night but left again right around dawn without paying for a second night. Katara had thought at the last second to have the woman tell them this. It would explain why people in the market may have seen them, and it would make the men think to that they had moved on. The guards wouldn't bother searching the town any more once they had proof that their quarry had left the area. Zuko was impressed by her quick thinking, once again, and vowed that he never wanted to be on the receiving end of one of her schemes. Well, not _again_ anyway.

Once evening had fallen and the pair had suffered through a sad dinner of boiled fish and undercooked rice, they made their way back upstairs to prepare for their mission.

Zuko went about unwrapping his mask and swords, checking and rechecking that everything was in its proper condition. Katara wrapped her scarf around her lower face, hiding everything except her eyes. They both donned their cloaks and slipped through the window. Zuko went first, helping Katara down. She blushed at the feel of his hands on her hips and the way the front of her body slid down his as he lowered her to her feet. She looked up, trying to see his eyes behind his mask. She could feel him sigh. He released her and turned, motioning for her to follow him.

The two of them raced through the small town to the other side, closer to the factory. In a matter of moments, they were tearing through the trees much like they had been the previous night. Katara's legs protested the exercise so soon after being worn out, but she pushed through it. She was resolved to not slow Zuko down after having begged to come with him in the first place.

It didn't take them long to find what they were looking for. In a clearing in the woods was a huge metal facility. The building was probably three stories tall, from Katara's guessing. All of the windows were dark and the area looked deserted. Zuko held his arm out in front of her, as if to keep her from running out into the clearing. She sighed in frustration, narrowing her eyes at him. As if she would be so dumb to not check the area before running out into the open. But she squashed the impulse to knock him in the head and followed his lead. She would take it out on him at another time, when they weren't in the middle of something so important.

The coast seemed clear. They couldn't find any guards posted around the outside of the building, though they supposed they would find a few on the inside. They moved around the edge of the forest until the came to a point where the building was closest to the trees. Katara followed Zuko, moving swiftly from the shelter of the trees to the wall of the structure. He pressed his back to the wall, motioning for her to do the same. Together they inched closer to the nearest door. The firebender grabbed the door latch and wasn't surprised to find it padlocked. He shooed Katara back a little and unsheathed his swords. In one fell swipe, the lock was no longer an issue. He didn't sheathe his swords, wanting to keep them out at the ready.

Katara fervently wished her waterbending would help them. It was minor bending at best right now, with having to keep her free foot in the bending water to get it to respond. She sighed. She would give them away by bending anyway. She resolved to have Zuko train her in some other method of combat once they were back to the safety of the palace.

The _safety_ of the palace? Now that was a thought she never figured she would have.

Zuko pressed forward and she followed close behind, although wary of his swords. Once inside, Katara had to fight the urge to gasp.

The whole building had been hollowed out in the middle, making room for some sort of giant machine of some sort in the center. There was a second floor catwalk leading to what she could only assume were offices of some sort. She could see the outline of a staircase off to their left.

The whole place was eerily silent and suffocating in its darkness. There weren't any torches going and the only light they could see was coming from some sort of fire roaring within one of the machines. Katara crept forward and wrapped her left fist in the cloth of Zuko's cloak. She couldn't help it. She was afraid.

Zuko frowned. Why was this place so empty? He figured they would have to fight their way through just to find the schematics he wanted. He silently gestured to Katara to follow him up the stairs. The physical proof he needed had to be in one of those offices. She moved along behind him on silent feet.

It took them three offices to find what he needed. He had to have physical proof of what was going on in this building. There was no way his word would be enough to turn the tide of support to him from his father. The Order of the White Lotus needed this information as well, for the same reason.

When Zuko unrolled a scroll detailing the transport of their victims, as well as describing their disposal, he knew he had what he needed. He tucked it inside his shirt and motioned for Katara to move.

But she didn't.

"Zuko," she whispered. "We have to find the children."

Zuko went back to her, lowering his head closer to hers. "Katara, we can't. We can't do anything for them right now. And if these schematics are correct, we're only going to find bodies in the building tonight.

Katara bit her lip. Bodies. All those beautiful, young children reduced to nothing more than bodies. "I want to find the bodies," she said softly, her eyes glistening. "Please, Zuko."

He sighed. After a moment, he nodded. From what he'd read on the scroll, he knew where they needed to go. He moved swiftly, holding both swords in one hand and pulling Katara along with the other. They went down to the first floor and continued down the stairs to the basement. It was one large room, completely unlit. Zuko let go of her long enough to conjure a flame to see by.

And what he saw almost brought him to his knees.

The entire floor was lined with linen wrapped bundles. Each small bundle was another child. He quickly tallied about thirty, the knot in his throat making it difficult to breathe. He was surprised that there wasn't a smell, but then realized that it meant these were very fresh bodies.

_All these children died today_, he thought, choking back the tears that threatened.

Katara let hers flow freely. She tugged the scarf down from around her mouth so she could breathe better as she sobbed. She sank to her knees and pressed her hands against her face, crying for the little ones whose lives were taken far too soon.

Zuko squatted down beside her, placing a hand on her back. He rubbed in small circles, trying his best to comfort her and comforting himself a little in the process.

After a few minutes, Katara calmed and stood.

"We need to burn them," she said softly, in a very cold voice.

"What?" Zuko asked, standing with her. He winced a little at the cold look in her eyes as she turned her gaze on him.

"I need you to firebend. I need you to honor these poor little ones. Burn them, Zuko."

Zuko gulped. Could he do that? Could he torch these tiny bodies so that no one else could ever hurt them? He knew he could, and in that moment, he knew he would. And he would be honored to do it. He would be honored to show mercy to the little ones now.

"But what if the whole factory goes up?" he asked.

"Let it," Katara answered. "Would that be so bad a thing?"

* * *

_Presently, in the library…_

"And _did_ the whole building burn?" Professor Zei asked, sitting on the edge of his seat.

Zuko shook his head. "No, but it did sustain serious damage. We were all the way back to the Palace by dawn. Luckily, we were never connected to the incident."

The professor was busy filling his tenth sheet of parchment. "What happened with your father when you returned?"

"Well, I told him what I had written to the regent. Turns out Azula had taken the letter, as I figured she had. When the Fire Lord heard both sides of the story, he was angry at both of us. That's why he ended up sending us to Ember Isle," Zuko paused and pinched the bridge of his nose. "How he thought a vacation together would make us get along, I have no idea. But that was our punishment."

Professor Zei chuckled. "I suppose that's a story for another day though. My hand is cramping from all this writing. I believe we should take a break for a bit."

Zuko nodded and took his leave of the man, ready to search out the mother of his children to apologize for the lecture she had surely received from her overzealous older brother.

* * *

A/N: Thank you guys so much for your reviews. It really helps keep me writing. I'm close to 100 now, and I couldn't do that without you guys. The next chapter is a happier one, in the present, and I'm super excited to write it after all this dark material.

Also, I now have set up a separate Facebook account for my writing! www . facebook . com/Lucawindmover (minus the spaces). This is a great way to keep informed about updates, brainstorming, ask questions and give feedback. For authors, it's a great way to bounce ideas and keep in touch. I hope you will all friend-request me. It's been a lot of fun using this account to keep up with writing!

Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender and I make no money from my stories. I just really enjoy tormenting the wonderful characters that have been provided for us. I also don't own the lyrics to "Closer to the Edge" by 30 Seconds to Mars, but it is a great song.


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